Alcatraz Pier 33 Cafe Sandwich

The Rock - Alcatraz Island

We were in San Francisco recently and of course we had to go and visit the Rock, Alcatraz Island and prison. We left from pier 33 and spent almost the entire day on the island exploring the grounds and prison. (I highly recommend Alcatraz Island as a must see when in San Francisco) One caveat, the island does not permit any food or beverage on the island except for bottled water.

Pier 33 Alcatraz Island

After spending approximately 7 hours on the rock, we were starving. Stepping off the boat that transported us back to Pier 33, we ventured into a souvenir shop and small cafe in search for a quick fix of food. As we waded through souvenir row we spied the food counter. It was old style cafeteria. Grab your tray, shuffle it down the counter and select a pre-made sandwich, salad, or other snack. (I felt a little like Blutto from the movie, Animal House)

Turkey And Cheese

I selected the turkey and cheese sandwich. At least I thought I did. It looked more like baloney but I was hungry. I added a Coke Zero to wash it down. This feast cost me $12 dollars, $9 dollars for the sandwich and $3 dollars for the Coke Zero.

The sandwich was stale. Even the baloney turkey. It was edible, barely. I still don't know if it was turkey or some other mystery meat. Hell, it may not have even been meat. The Coke Zero was the saving grace. after drinking water all day, the Zero was a much needed bonus. Twelve dollars for this, not even close to a value. The Cafe is lucky Alcatraz is closed for charging that kind of money for that quality of food is a capital crime. I can almost sympathize with the inmates assigned to Alcatraz and the food they were forced to eat.

The Grassy Knoll Diner scores 1.5 out of 5 shots and does not recommend Pier 33 Alcatraz Cafe for lunch or dinner.

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LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Birdman Of Alcatraz Found

Giant Alien Skeleton Unearthed

During a routine repair on the South wall at infamous Alcatraz island prison, incredulously an intact giant alien skeleton was unearthed by construction workers. The skeleton found was approximately 36 feet in length when laid out on a concrete slab and is estimated to have weighed 1200 pounds with flesh and blood. A handful of sightseers on Alcatraz island at the time were treated to a rare sighting of actual proof of an alien race.

The skeleton was named "The Birdman Of Alcatraz due to it's unique bone structure of the nose. The Grassy Knoll Institute is in the process of offloading the giant alien for transport to a secret West Coast laboratory for genetic testing in hopes the skeleton will reveal a biological weakness for humankind to exploit against them.

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LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL