Do Black Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up

Do Black Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up

The age-old question for every Catholic school boy in the 1960's was; Do black patent leather shoes reflect upwards? Wait a minute, you don't know what that means?

You see, in the 1960's at Catholic grade school, it was pretty difficult to get a little female action as there were a few obstacles in our way. First, the girls had to wear ugly ass uniforms with the hem having to touch the knee making them feel non-sexy.

Second, they were Catholic grade school girls. (Only the good die young) They were indoctrined early to stay chaste.

Third, there were approximately 100 Catholic nuns (I say approximately 100 nuns for they never let on to their exact number perhaps to keep us off guard) patrolling the halls and class rooms just waiting for a boy to make eye contact with a girl for more than three seconds. (Three seconds was the standard time frame) A mere second longer, and the nuns would administer blunt force trauma.

However, all hope wasn't lost. The boys did have a well-known secret kept among ourselves. We knew the secret that black patent leather shoes really did reflect up. You see, it was our only hope of stealing a glimpse of girls underwear as they were waiting in line at the drinking fountain, or lining up to go out on the playground for recess, or even marching into church. Since most of the girls wore black shoes, and if the lighting was just right, we were treated to a magnificent view. (Way better than the National Geographics)

There were many a sunny days on the playground that a small crowd of boys gathered around several select girls unwittingly displaying her underwear. Thinking back, I believe that perhaps many of the girls knew of this phenomenon as well and out of the goodness of their hearts offered us cheap thrills to get us through religion class. Perhaps they wanted our lunch and mass money, or both. Welcome to Catholic grade school, 1965.

Thank Christ the Nuns wore flat black (Non shiny) shoes. I would have been scarred for life.

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