11/30/2007

Sanjaya Consortium

The American Idol Sanjaya Consortium

The Grassy Knoll Institute has uncovered an underground movement with the intention to bring the FOX network smash series American Idol to it's knee's. This international group calls itself, The Sanjaya Consortium. The details are sketchy but it is believed that the consortium formed at the end of last seasons show and built membership over the summer after the founders discovered a flaw in the voting system and decided to exploit it.

American Idol relies on TV viewers watching the show to call in after the show airs and vote for their favorite contestant. There is no limit on how many times one can vote. The phone lines are open for two hours. The next night, the contestant with the fewest votes gets sent home. All the power comes from the voting viewers.

But what about Randy, Paula, and Simon? Don't they control the show, have a say on who continues and who goes home? That was how the show was designed to work, the judges being able to sway the viewers opinions and thus have them vote for the best singer. In reality, Randy, Paula, and Simon are merely window dressing once the preliminary auditions are completed and the show moves to Hollywood. Simon's biting critiques have no significant value determining the outcome of the show. Ryan Seacrest has the same power as the judges. Absolutely none!

The Sanjaya Consortium understands this flaw and set out to exploit it in 2007. Being silent for several weeks to research who was the worst singer in the group of contestants, they went into action. The several hundred thousand member strong consortium went to their phones and voted as many times as they could for Sanjaya, clearly the contestant with the least amount of talent. Shockingly, after a severe critique from Simon, Randy, and even Paula, Sanjaya was voted through. Week after week, Sanjaya was saved by the consortium and had the potential to win American Idol.

The Sanjaya problem had gotten so bad that Simon Cowell stated that he would step down as a judge for American Idol next season if Sanjays won that year. The other judges have stopped critiquing Sanjaya as they have come to realize that no matter what they say, it will not affect the voting consortium.

To plug this flaw in the American Idol system model, the Grassy Knoll Institute guarantee's that next year major changes will be implemented.

The first major change will be limiting each caller to a maximum amount of votes permitted. Somewhere between five and ten calls will be agreed upon.

The second major change will restore power back to Randy, Paula, and Simon. Each week, the three judges will rate and rank the contestants on a scale of one to ten and the combined score will amount to fifty percent of the vote. Much like the model of Dancing With The Stars.

In 2007, Sanjaya fever was running wild and appears Pandora's box cannot be closed.




LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

4 comments:

  1. Forget Sanjaya Vitas is a sensational Russian opera singer who combines his haunting vocals.

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  2. Damn, ain't his 15 minutes over? I would like to see Thunderdome, Hung and Sanjaya enter, one comes out....

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  3. ya Sanjaya is nothing compared to this Russian singer, Vitas!!! his voice is both haunting and bizarre! it is amazing...check it out

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  4. Every year the network for Idol spotlights a loser to give the show more press. The loser gets more air time than the eventual winner. Everyone still talks about Sanjaya but who won this year, no one remembers.

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