About Us

I'm Watching You

Grassy Knoll Institute, Home of the 99 cent conspiracy theory.

We keep overhead and expenses low to provide more affordable and better tasting conspiracy theories for our readers. Hurry, supplies are limited at these prices. Use the category links on the left to guide you to the summit of our vast knowledge. And quit calling me Shirley.

The Grassy Knoll Institute is not run by a really good tasting corned beef sandwich alone. We have a consortium of rocket scientists listed below that provide vital information to educate the citizens of the world.

LOTGK - Curator, the creator (The RoyKirk)(Your logic is impeccable, we are all in grave danger!) of the Grassy Knoll Institute. We are not exactly sure what his duties are but we believe they are largely ceremonial at best.

XTAP59 - Alter Ego of the Curator. He is the sports end of the blog.

Patty - The Beauty, Brains, and Bankroll of the Grassy Knoll Institute. Without Patty, we would be nothing but a seedy two bit porn site. (You had me at porn)

Lead Scientist - Our #1 Rocket Scientist. His duties include but not limited to the following sections of the Grassy Knoll Institute. Acting C.R.O. (Chief Risk Officer) Active C.B.O. (Chief Bullshit Officer) But he spends most of his time as the C.T.I. (Chief Titty Investigator) He also drives a Ford F-150 truck.

JungleJim69 - The Grassy Knoll Institute Ambassador to all nations. (Except for fucking France)

Gumby - Censorship Monitor. Mandates that absolutely no nudity is shown on the Grassy Knoll Institute until he sees and studies it first. (This can take up to a weeks time!)

Thunder - Resident feline of the secret lair of the Grassy Knoll institute. An NFL Guru, lover of water, and the blow dryer. Picks the NFL winners week in and week out.

Stormy - Resident Fat Cat. Literally! This cat is 19 pounds. He is our Language adviser, Speaker of tongues, eater of treats.

Gort - Enforcer. Those of you of the other blogospheres, heed Gort's warning or your blog will be reduced to a burned out cinder.

Mr. Beamis - Editor-In-Chief. Reads every word of every post before it goes to print on the Grassy Knoll Institute. Looking for a good pair of glasses.

Agnes DiPesto - Secretary. When you call in you hear, "You have reached the machine of Agnes DiPesto. Please wait for the beep, then state your manifesto."

BOB - Spiritual Adviser. Ask Bob about his tattoo. Bob loves breakfast cereal, the woods, and the owls. Bob knows the meaning of garmonbozia. His best friend is Mike. And he has a killer personality.

Perry Mason - Legal. Attorney Mason has yet to lose a case for the Grassy Knoll Institute. Don't freaking mess with us.

Kanamits 812 - Catering. Providing dinner from one to six billion people. Free of charge. Includes one free space ship ride. (Not to be confused with a free mustache ride)

Albert Gore - Net Provider.

I told you to quit calling me Shirley. Surely, you understand this by now.

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

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Powered By A Really Good Tasting Corned Beef Sandwich - 1995 - 2012

1. 
   

   Dooohhead said

   October 12, 2007 at 1:05 pm e
   Nice new site ya have here. I’ve updated the link of LOTGK to this new one on my blog.
   Doooh
   LOTGK Replies:
   Thanks Doooh
   Reply
2. 
   

   Horatiox said

   November 1, 2007 at 5:29 pm e
   More Bavarian Illuminati! More Bavarian Illuminati!
   Reply
   • 
     

     LOTGK said

     November 2, 2007 at 11:25 pm e
     In due time Horatiox, in due time.
     Reply
3. 
   

   ConnieGuy said

   January 28, 2008 at 11:34 pm e
   well the boys and girls of Pa Ave arn’t hiding under their bunkers yet… just hiding period… idiots… I’ve been reading with enjoyment several of your great (funny) stories. can’t wait to get back for more .. .. ‘bumper skiing’ brought back some memories and side splitting laffter!… my son .. reading over my shoulder says… “mom ! way cool .. when’s it gonna snow? .. I could get good at that!!”… Thanks for a fun place to land my space ship!
   Reply
4. 
   

   LOTGK said

   January 29, 2008 at 11:05 am e
   Connie, Thank you for reading and commenting on our humble site. We are glad you like it. We have fun bringing worthy news to the Internet.
   Reply
5. 
   

   Bibomedia said

   March 4, 2008 at 2:26 am e
   
   Reply
   • 
     

     LOTGK said

     March 4, 2008 at 11:27 pm e
     Right back atcha! 
     Reply
6. 
   

   Doug said

   March 10, 2008 at 2:54 am e
   Hey…thought you might like this pic from the Seattle P.I.
   for your Giant Aliens series:
   http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/business/354345_healey10.html
   Enjoy,
   DirectorEvil
   Reply
7. 
   

   LOTGK said

   March 10, 2008 at 7:30 am e
   Doug, great photo. Thanks.
   Reply
8. 
   

   Ty said

   June 26, 2008 at 9:06 am e
   hey, we have linked to your story. we find it very interesting and funny. you are also nominated as one of the most useful websites, and we hope you will be willing to accept award if given to you.
   i didnt know where to send this so i put it here. great logic! yeh
   Reply
9. 
   

   LOTGK said

   June 26, 2008 at 9:57 am e
   LOTGK: I’ll have to build a bigger trophy and award case….
   Lead Scientist: What trophy case?
   Patty Whatever! Just keep it out in the garage.
   Reply
10. 
    

    EFX2 said

    July 8, 2008 at 12:51 pm e
    Are you the cause of EFX2 Blogs demise? If so, you are a real shit. You left, got kicked out, so leave us alone.
    Reply
11. 
    

    Gumby said

    July 8, 2008 at 1:26 pm e
    I heard the French bought efx2 from keith for $7.14 and paid through paypal.
    Reply
12. 
    

    Alex said

    July 9, 2008 at 4:24 pm e
    Hey, came across your site and thought you might enjoy this video from The Vacationeers on YouTube. Its about Google Sky and how the characters stumble across a Moon Landing Conspiracy. Check the link below.
    Alex
    Reply
13. 
    

    LOTGK said

    July 9, 2008 at 4:44 pm e
    Hello EFX2,
    You asked if I was the demise of EFX2. No, the French were responsible.
    Second part. Since we already determined that the French were responsible, I am not a real shit. Or, a fake shit.
    Part three. No, I right. Not left.
    Part Four. (This had gotten complicated) I did not get kicked out. I left long before Napoleon and Josephine (Keith and Cunt) did their Modblog thing on the community.
    Keith and Cunt. K and C… KC…. and the sunshine band. Shake, shake, shake,…Shake your booty
    Part Five. I did leave you alone asshat. I said I would never post there again and I meant it and kept my word.
    Don’t blame me for the sloppy code efx2 is written with. Or the server that efx2 is leeched on. Or that Keithy goes AWOL for months at a time leaving the crappy service in the tank. Blame it on the rain, blame it on Rio, bang the blame, just don’t blame me.
    I warned all of you Keith loving assholes about him two years ago. No one listened. Now I laugh at you with a hearty hi ho silver Lone Ranger laugh…..
    Reply
14. 
    

    Valdunagan said

    July 10, 2008 at 10:13 am e
    You should have put this post in your predictions for 2008. How right you are, or were. Or whatever.
    http://lotgk.wordpress.com/2007/04/01/rip-efx2-blogs/
    Reply
15. 
    

    Rafi said

    July 12, 2008 at 7:27 pm e
    Sir Good Morning,
    with your kind permission, I take a liberty to introduce myself :-
    I am Rafi from UAE (Dubai). I am working as Data entry cum Account assistant.
    I can Twist or roll my tongue in any shape(flower,boat,spoon,shell) and also I can make split my tongue as world smallest tongue and i can move my nose,ear,neck for long time, totally I would like to say title .i.e., wonder and movement of the” five sense organs”. I can send(if you requiered) scanned copy of the Certificate, photographs (from2003 to 2007) and local news paper (khaleej times) report for your perusal please. Further my record has been registered in the UK book of Records too.now aggreed with uk based famous book(‘believe it or not’)
    I further want to perform my event in other parts of World including UK . Can some please guide me in the matter for organizing the event or publishing my news in the Local Newspaper, Magazine or electronic Media or can u just intimate me the organization or event management who organize these types of event/festivals.
    Sir, I need blessing for my coming event.
    HOPING TO HEAR FROM YOUR SIDE AT THE EARLIEST.
    THANKS
    Rafi
    Mob:-00971-50-7651387
    My personal e-mail ID. manichi.rafi@aramex.com.
    Note:-If you required any more information or picture please don’t hestitate to contact me.
    Reply
16. 
    

    Rafi said

    July 12, 2008 at 7:27 pm e
    the world largest tongue trick man
    Reply
17. 
    

    LOTGK said

    July 12, 2008 at 11:38 pm e
    It must be a full moon out tonight. But sure, impress me.
    Reply
18. 
    

    D-Advocate said

    July 12, 2008 at 11:48 pm e
    WTF? Is this guys tongue the longest or the shortest. He says he has both.
    Reply
    • 
      

      Liddy said

      July 26, 2009 at 11:52 pm e
      Now that would be a trick I’d pay to see.
      Reply
      • 
        

        LOTGK said

        July 27, 2009 at 8:54 am e
        Maybe not pay to see, but I would like to see it.
        Reply
19. 
    

    The Truth said

    July 22, 2008 at 12:08 pm e
    Your jealous of EFX2 blogs and of Keith. WordPress sucks dick and you know it. You settled for worpdress because Keith wouldn’t let you back in EFX2. So quit spreading your stupid lies about us here.
    Reply
20. 
    

    LOTGK said

    July 22, 2008 at 2:25 pm e
    YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
    You have things so distorted, you don’t know your head from your ass. (Neither does anyone else, that’s why they call you butt ugly)
    But to reply, ho hum,…..
    I am not jealous of efx2. Quite the opposite. Let’s compare shall we.
    My service, WordPress.com, offers me a very solid base that is up 99.9% of the time. EFX2 blogs. Well, it goes down more often than a $20 dollar hooker.
    When WordPress experiences some technical difficulty, a team of geeks (And I use the term geeks in a loving manner) are set to task to fix the glitch and keep the network up and running. EFX2 blogs. Well, the site can go silent for months at a time without being fixed.
    I also want to point out to you that efx2 is written on WordPress.org code. Keith rewrote the code to suit his community, (Cult) and that therin lies the problem with it. The code he added is weak, or corrupted causing efx2 to crash.
    In a nutshell, I am glad as hell I left when I did. People who were throwing rocks at my blog back then are just now realizing they were dead wrong about Keith.
    Lastly, I don’t remember a screen name “The truth” on efx2 blogs. Hiding behind aliases are little baby’s games. (Bruce Springsteen, Rosalita)
    Reply
21. 
    

    The Truth said

    July 22, 2008 at 4:06 pm e
    admit it. you hate everyone at efx2. you hate keith and the community members. Your jealous of his success. you backed the wrong horse and now you think we all forgot the shitty things you said to us. we didnt forget.
    Reply
22. 
    

    Gumby said

    July 22, 2008 at 4:29 pm e
    I’m willing to chip in to buy this asshole some capital letters.
    Reply
23. 
    

    LOTGK said

    July 22, 2008 at 10:22 pm e
    To reply to “The Truth.”
    #1) I do not hate everyone at EFX2. In fact, I made some very good friends there. Many migrated over from Modblog.
    #2) I don’t hate Keith. I feel sorry for him. He’s married to that shrew of a wife.
    #3) I do not hate the community leaders. Hell, I was one of them until I left. Trust me, I do not hate myself.
    #4) Jealous of his success? What success? Unless you mean asshats like yourself coming here complaining to me because your blog service is broken once again.
    #5) I did not back the wrong horse. I bet on Big Brown to win the Derby. I also chose WordPress.com as my blog home. Look, you came here, read the blog and commented. The service was / is working, and quite quickly at that.
    #6) All the shitty things… I think you are confused. Let me refresh your puny memory and distorted reality. Just click the following link to read the last post I made on EFX2 back in December of 2006. I also have the previous three entries as well along with comments they made about me, but I’ll just let those lie, OK Froggy.
    Here’s the link: EFX2 Blog Debacle Redux
    Reply
24. 
    

    Ulla said

    July 29, 2008 at 7:42 pm e
    where’s rafi?
    Reply
25. 
    

    LOTGK said

    July 30, 2008 at 11:26 am e
    Still waiting semi patiently for him to reappear.
    Reply
26. 
    

    Evelyn said

    September 29, 2008 at 4:32 pm e
    So what I wanna know is, where d’ya get a really good corned beef sandwich around here?
    Reply
27. 
    

    Gumby said

    December 25, 2008 at 12:21 am e
    Pat, I’m so sorry for your loss.
    Reply
28. 
    

    Theunhappycamper said

    April 13, 2009 at 6:38 pm e
    I love this site. Great stuff. I could sit here and read for hours. 
    Reply
29. 
    

    Max Jackl said

    July 28, 2009 at 11:28 am e
    I see you have added a few thing a ma jigs to your site. And are you saying that I am a cave man?
    Reply
    • 
      

      Gumby said

      July 28, 2009 at 2:21 pm e
      Forget it, you wouldn’t understand anyway.
      Reply
    • 
      

      LOTGK said

      July 29, 2009 at 8:05 pm e
      Yes Max, a few modifications. Readying the blog for the next upgrade.
      Reply
30. 
    

    Stasha said

    November 9, 2009 at 1:11 pm e
    Are those your eyes. They look sinister.
    Reply
    • 
      

      LOTGK said

      November 10, 2009 at 1:30 pm e
      Yes, those eyes belong to me. Do I look sinister? I was going for intellectual. Guess I missed on that one…. 
      Reply
31. 
    

    Kathy said

    September 9, 2010 at 6:18 am e
    Hello,
    Do you mind if I link to your site from my fashion sites?
    Thanks.
    Kathy
    Reply
    • 
      

      LOTGK said

      September 9, 2010 at 11:52 pm e
      Certainly, go right ahead.
      However, please know this, we have absolutely no fashion sense. 
      Reply
32. 
    

    Latanya Corneluis said

    February 9, 2011 at 5:29 pm e
    Real great visual appeal on this internet site , I’d rate it 10 10.
    Reply
    • 
      

      LOTGK said

      February 11, 2011 at 10:52 am e
      Do you like it, or really like like it? 
      Reply
33. 
    

    Andrew Joseph said

    February 10, 2011 at 11:50 pm e
    Howdy, i study your weblog occasionally and i personal a comparable one and i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam comments? If so how do you prevent it, any plugin or anything you can advise? I get so much recently it is driving me mad so any assistance is really much appreciated.
    Reply
    • 
      

      LOTGK said

      February 11, 2011 at 10:51 am e
      Yes, we do get spam. However, we use alien technology to filter out them out. See how good it works…. 
      Reply
34. 
    

    Ted said

    October 8, 2012 at 7:40 pm e
    I enjoyed your comments on boots bell.
    Reply
    • 
      

      LOTGK said

      October 9, 2012 at 8:41 am e
      thanks Ted. boots was a great guy for the Youngstown area
      Reply