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7/22/2009

William Shatner Abducted By Aliens

Got...To...Get...Away
Star Trek XI made a galactic splash at the movie theaters this summer becoming the most popular Star Trek film in the entire franchise. Not only that, but Star trek XI is one of the highest grossing films of 2009.

It has been played out in the tabloids as to why William Shatner was left out of the blockbuster movie while his original series costar Leonard Nimoy was given a prominent part. Some tabloids said Shatner was asking for to much money and wanted a larger role and part of the production. While others claimed that he was feuding with the producers about there only being one captain Kirk and it was William Shatner.

After months of speculation and lively banter, the truth comes out. (Just as it always does here at the Grassy Knoll Institute.) The photo above shows William Shatner being abducted by an evil race of aliens from his home in the Hollywood hills, California.

The aliens, widely known for controlling the minds of their abducted, forced him to dress in his original series uniform using an amplifying technique of their telepathic powers. Then they quickly subdued him and easily transported him to their ship without incident.

The only known defense against these aliens is a thought screen helmet made with velostat material that filters out the telepathic connection thus preventing the aliens from overpowering your mind.

Mr. Shatner was returned to him home some weeks later but production had already started on the movie and the producers had no choice but to write him out.

Now you know the real story why William Shatner was not in Star Trek XI.

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

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12 comments:

  1. MikeWJ7/22/2009 10:37 AM

    Damn, I thought you could block out the alien probes using a helmet made with tinfoil. No wonder I keep waking up feeling like my anus has been probed with something from outer space. I need to get me one of the velostat though-screen helmets. Can you recommend a good store?

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  2. Max Jackl7/22/2009 10:58 AM

    This is Shatners best acting performance yet.

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  3. Max Jackl7/22/2009 11:00 AM

    Nope. You must have a velostat lined helmet to block out the harmful rays.

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  4. Cynthia7/22/2009 12:18 PM

    Sexy hats.

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  5. LOTGK7/22/2009 4:39 PM

    The Grassy Knoll Institute is making them 24/7 but cannot keep up with orders.

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  6. LOTGK7/22/2009 4:39 PM

    I don't think he acts, I think that's how he is real life.

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  7. LOTGK7/22/2009 4:43 PM

    Right you are Max. Without the velostat, the helmet is merely a device preventing you to score with chicks, or guys.

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  8. LOTGK7/22/2009 4:43 PM

    The technical name is Helmets. :D

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  9. Gumby7/23/2009 5:17 AM

    Beam me aboard Scotty. there's no intelligent life here.

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  10. Gumby7/23/2009 5:17 AM

    Are those aliens wearing condoms on their heads?

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  11. Abe Black7/23/2009 5:22 AM

    The question is, which heads?

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  12. LOTGK7/24/2009 4:41 AM

    What head?

    ReplyDelete

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