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1/25/2008

Asteroid To Hit Earth 01/28/2008

It has been confirmed that an asteroid is on a collision course to impact Earth in the Southern hemisphere on Monday, January 28th at approximately 0500 GMT. This rogue (A large, destructive, and anomalous or unpredictable heavenly body operating outside normal or desirable controls) asteroid is the size of the Sears Building in Chicago and was just discovered by NASA as it entered our solar system when it changed course towards earth.

Up until Monday the 21st, NASA was tracking the asteroid (Named TU24) displaying it's trajectory course and danger level towards earth and the probability of an impact. Yesterday, all data relating to TU24, it's mass, size, trajectory course, time of impact, was deleted and erased from the website and in it's place was a sign stating that the asteroid had a zero percent chance of striking earth and the threat level was minimal at best. (On Monday, the odds were 50-50 chance and closing for an impact.)

The Grassy Knoll Institute understands how governments work in times of crisis especially when no solution is available such as an Armageddon sized asteroid that has the potential to end all life on the planet. The government institutes it's plausible deniabilty scenario preaching ignorance is bliss and seemingly everyone goes about their business. Except the heads of state.

Imagine if the government went public and broadcast to the world that an asteroid would impact the earth causing total devastation. The panic and chaos of the public would cause a complete breakdown of government as hysteria and looting would continue right up until impact. Hence, all information on asteroid TU24 has been deleted.

Starting this weekend, keep an eye on the movement of our public figures such as the president, vice president, key cabinet members and scientists from NASA. They will begin to disappear from the public eye as they quickly gather in underground bunkers to safely weather the impact.

It's the weekend, and the end of the world is coming on Monday. It's time to check your bucket list and get cracking.

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

43 comments:

  1. Who has Jessica Beil's address? Hurry! before the weekend is gone.

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  2. That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane,
    Lenny Bruce is not afraid
    Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn - world
    Serves its own needs, dont misserve your own needs. Feed
    It off an aux speak, grunt, no, strength,turn, ladder
    Start to clatter with fear fight down height. Wire
    In a fire, representing seven games, in a government
    For hire and a combat site. Left of west and coming in
    A hurry with the furies breathing down your neck. Team
    By team reporters baffled, trumped, tethered cropped
    Look at that low playing! Fine, then. Uh oh,
    Overflow, population, common food, but it'll do. Save
    Yourself, serve yourself. World serves its own needs,
    Listen to your heart bleed dummy with the rapture and
    The revered and the right, right. You vitriolic,
    Patriotic, slam, fight, bright light, feeling pretty
    Psyched

    It's the end of the world as we know it
    It's the end of the world as we know it
    It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine

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  3. Nice try... but I'm not breaking my diet for this. And, I will run those 10 miles this weekend-- asteroid or no asteroid.

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  4. So who is right?  NASA or the conspiracy theorists?

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  5. Why the fuck did I have to click on this? I don't have enough shit to worry about, now I got this too... I need a Tums.

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  6. Omg How Stupid If This Was Really Meant To Happen Wouldnt They Have It All Over The News Warning Us About It!!

    I Have Onli Just Found Out That The Earth May Be Hit Tomoroo So It Is All Probably Bullshit!!

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  7. Claire, that is exactly my point.
    The government would not announce an asteroid impact of this magnitude for it would only incite panic and chaos and caus a complete breakdown of the government and the law.

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  8. So when this asteroid goes harmlessly whizzing by as astronomers have predicted, I hope you will be big enough to post here again and admit what a fool you are.

    The stuff some of you nuts get worked up about! Sheesh!

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  9. "discovered by NASA as it entered our solar system when it changed course towards earth"

    PLEASE EXPLAIN how this Asteroid CHANGED COURSE? Or did you just make that part up to add the the woo woo factor?

    Do you understand the energy required to change the course of an asteroid?

    Was it aliens? LOL you're goofy.

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  10. To answer I doubt it's question,
    Yes, of course if I am wrong I will admit it freely. The question before us however is, are you big enough to admit that you got sucked into believing the Grassy Knoll Institute, the home of the 99 cent conspiracy theory, is a legitimate news source? (I'm waiting)

    To answer silly bunt's question,...
    How an asteroid changes course. Very simple silly. As most asteroids come from the asteroid belt in our solar system between Mars and Saturn, this somewhat crowded space has countless collisions among the millions of asteroids that reside there. When these asteroids collide, the course of one or several, if they start a chain reaction, are changed and some, as in the case of TU24 leave the belt and head towards earth.

    The woo woo factor came later with this exclusive first glimpse of Asteroid TU24.
    http://lotgk.wordpress.com/2008/01/27/first-glimpse-of-asteroid-tu24/

    PS: You can never rule out the fact that giant aliens had a hand in the trajectory of TU24.

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  11. The gauntlet is dropped. Will I doubt it have the stones to admit he/she was duped?
    Either way, I'm wearing my thought screen helmet as it should allow at least some protection from the asteroid.

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  12. Its a small rock... it will miss... so will the one 'attacking' Mars on the 30th of January.

    Even if this one hit it would mostly break up and do little damege (unless it picked your house to land on.

    Where is it 'confirmed' that it will hit ? Where did you get the size from? And most important what's this "changed course' business? Asteroids do not change course

    You are giving conspiracy theorists a bad name

    LOL

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  13. Redfaced and depantsed and duped!
    Thank you sir may I please have another?

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  14. See me on Tuesday, if we're still here.....

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  15. ground control to Major Tom.....
    Check ignition switch and may God's love be with you......

    Todays the big day.
    I need to find Kendra.

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  16. Tick tock, the clock says noon time, 12 hours before the impact.
    what to do. yes, find nearest stripper joint and max out my credit card.

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  17. ummm, oooh look its 12 hours past 0500gmt. GUESS WHAT RETARDS- NO ASTEROID. GET UR HEADS OUTA UR ASSES, TAKE OFF UR ALUMINIUM FOIL HATS, GET A JOB, AND MOVE OUTTA YER MOM'S GARAGE.

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  18. Attention Space maggot:
    Perhaps you didn't notice that the Grassy Knoll Institute is the home of the 99 cent conspiracy theory. Oops! Egg all over your face!
    If you are perchance petitioning for a refund of this 99 cent conspiracy theory, please check out the FAQ's of our blog site.
    (After you take your head out of your ass that is)
    Here's the link....
    http://lotgk.wordpress.com/faqs/

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  19. I told you I was coming, but did any of you listen, well maybe, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton listened, but nobody else.
    Watch as I unfurl my great wall of fire and clense the earth to begin once anew.

    To much over the top?
    I never know.

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  20. Hit me baby one more time from Britney and Stars are blind from Paris were merely metaphors of things to come.
    How did we all not see the signs.

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  21. Just enough anti, just enough.

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  22. I'm also the pumpkin king.

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  23. As I was walking down the street one day
    A man came up to me and asked me what the time was that was
    on my watch, yeah
    And I said
    Does anybody really know what time it is
    I don't
    Does anybody really care
    care
    If so I can't imagine why
    about time
    We've all got time enough to cry
    Oh no, no

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  24. Just went over the top....

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  25. Screw it. I'm boinking Marsha. Then Jan, and even Cindy. Leave Alice for Sam.

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  26. Space maggot, are you interested in buying any real estate?

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  27. It’s things like this that give conspiracy theorists a bad name.

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  28. And it's comments like these that give you a bad name jumping the gun and not taking the three seconds to realize the site is a humorous one. After all, it is the home of the 99 cent conspiracy theory.

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  29. Galaxy Comet1/29/2008 2:54 PM

    Get real people! If you want to know when the end is make sure you know all the prophecys are complete then it will end. Israel has not yet been in a war. causing World War

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  30. I was going to talk about how much your "glorious leaders" really hate and despise you and how they are plotting your deaths while most of you are so screwed up that you not only do not see this, you actually dance blithely toward disaster for yourselves and your children. Well, I'm going to get there, but first, I want to tie up a few loose ends and reiterate a couple of points.
    Here ya go!

    http://www.sott.net/articles/show/148819-Tunguska-the-Horns-of-the-Moon-and-Evolution

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  31. wtf?!this is not real pipol>>y the feck would u listen 2 a non-sense like this>>hmmpphhh>>u oll look lyk miserable pipol...OMG

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  32. Sorry, one of my lesser intelligent minions escaped through the portal of hell.

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  33. f*ck ur minions>>>go back 2 hell wer u belong!!hahaha>:)..LOSER

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  34. Ahh, Death, be careful how you word things. You are one of his minions, now do you really want the anti-christ to do as you say?

    Perhaps you do.

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  35. X-15 wannabe6/03/2008 9:58 AM

    Wow, what they say IS true; you don't even know it when you're dead. I mean, If I'm dead, I certainly don't know it.

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  36. not an idiot8/11/2008 5:48 PM

    your retarded

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  37. Perhaps you meant to say, "You're retarded."

    Thanks for playing though. Behind curtain #2 is what you didn't win...

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  38. Not that is an ass kicking lotgk. :)

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  39. mitten vinyl6/23/2009 10:00 PM

    That is very important section. Thanks. I cannot help myself being a spam troll as I spew my links across the blogosphere.

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  40. Its OK we know. There's a pill you can take for that you know.

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  41. Some trolls cannot help themselves. There is a pill for that you know.

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  42. how big was this asteroid

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  43. Bigger than Anna Nocole Smiths boobs.

    So you can see the concern....

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