4/01/2017

Liar Liar Pants On Fire


Washington - Capital Hill - April 1st, 2017:
This morning President Trump signed into law his new huge (Pronounced yuge) affordable health care act once and for all abolishing the former act known as Obama-Care. Trump stated the heath care system has been fixed and every American citizen will have insurance.

Pay no attention to Speaker of the house Paul Ryan (AKA The Harbinger Of Death) shaking hands as he walks out of the Washington DC Capital building with his pants on fire.


LURKING, JUST KIDDING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Patient Zero Thought Screen Helmet Alien Abduction


It is a well established fact that aliens from another galaxy have been visiting Earth for over two millennium  now. However, this is the first year that a government has finally acknowledged that an alien race is present and controlling human beings.President Trumps newly appointed Secretary Of Space Exploration, Andrew Cornhusker has been tasked to document and record all abductions. Cornhuskers first act of business was to establish documented time lines of abductions and to find the earliest recorded abduction.

The first file showing promise for patient zero was the mysterious case of George Tookie from Pine Bluff, Arkansas. The hospital report dated April 1st, 1955 had the following interview and account of the strange and bizarre behavior by Mr. Tookie.

Three men not wishing to be identified claim they witnessed the following acts over several days of visiting Tookie's farm.

Day One:
The three men drove up to Mr. Tookie's farm to ask for his assistance on planting several acres on their adjacent farmland. They found Mr. Tookie outside his house aimlessly walking in circles at the side of his barn. The men could hear him talking to himself. He seemed to be carrying on a conversation with several people at the same time. The men could make out bits and pieces of the conversation but do not understand the context. They heard Tookie say the word velestat, and helmet, 10 years of hiding, and thought screen. They did hear one complete sentence from Tookie, "As instructed, for the past ten years, I have never removed this thought screen helmet from my head and still I can hear them talking to me."

When Tookie noticed the men standing around him, he straightened up and stopped mumbling and told the men that he wasn't feeling well that day and to come back again tomorrow or the next. The men agreed and left.

Day Two: Several days later, the same three men returned to Tookie's farm to ask for the same assistance on their farm. This time, the men found Tookie repeatedly slamming the crown of his head against the barn wall. All the while he was yelling, "No, I will never remove my helmet." The men looked around and found no other people there and assumed Tookie had gone mad.

Seeing how hard Tookie was throwing himself against the barn wall, the men restrained him and attempted to calm him down. He would not listen to reason, almost as if someone, or something was controlling him from a stealthy vantage point.

Finally, to avoid Tookie doing any more harm to himself, the men forced him into their car and drove him to the local hospital.

They explained the situation to the attending doctor and the doctor admitted Tookie to a private room. He was sedated and begrudgingly fell asleep still ranting and raving about not controlling him and never removing his helmet.

With Tookie  sedated, the doctor examined him more closely. He found that the hat he was wearing appeared to be glued to his scalp and was so tight it was cutting off the circulation to his brain. The doctor deduced that Tookie's delusions were the cause of the hat being to tight.

While still under heavy sedation, the doctor removed the hat carefully having to cut Tookie's hair in the process and using solvents to lesson the grip on the hat on his skin.

Thirty minutes later, the hat was removed and the doctor found it to be in good condition less one tiny pin hole crack in the black lining.

The doctor hooked  an IV into Tookie's arm and informed the nurse on duty to check in on him every several hours and to administer the sedative to keep him asleep until morning. The nurse confirmed her orders and the doctor went on to his other duties.

Early in the morning, the nurse on her final rounds of her shift checked in on Mr. Tookie. The bed was empty. Tookie was gone.

The police were called and a hunt for George Tookie began. The first places they searched for him was his farm, the stores and businesses he frequented, and then the people he associated with. He was never found to this day.

Perhaps that tiny tear in Mr. Tookie's hat (Thought Screen Helmet) allowed the evil race of telepathic aliens to gain a little control. But Tookie fought it, did not listen to the aliens telepathic suggestions. Tookie may have paid for his life not adhering to the aliens commands.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

How Old Is Shannon Tweed

Kiss rock star legend Gene Simmons sitting in the shade admiring the view thinking to himself, How old is Shannon Tweed again?


LURKING, JUST KIDDING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Curse Of Oak Island Treasure Recovered


Oak Island is a small island located off the coast of Nova Scotia, Canada. legend has it that buried treasure lies beneath the sand someone on the island. Fortune hunters have been pursuing said treasure for over 200 years now.

Most recently the Lagina brothers Rick and Marty purchased the island and began actively searching for the treasure. The island myth and mystery is so great that the History channel had a four year long television series filming the search of the Lagina brothers. Speculation is far fetched, from the treasure being the Ark of the Covenant, to the Azteks gold, to English and French spoils of war gold and silver and insert any and all other treasures one seeks.  So far, nothing significant has been found. Until this weekend...

On Friday morning Marty Lagina was shallow digging at what they refer to as the 10-X site and uncovered a steel canister roughly eight feet deep in the soil. He immediately called his brother Rick so they could both open the box together. When Rick arrived, the box was unearthed and brought into the conference room on the island. A welders torch was needed to remove the braces holding the box together. it was air and water tight.

As both brothers slowly lifted the lid they spied another metal cylinder inside. Upon inspection, inside the cylinder appeared to be old 8 milimeter film reels. They immediately called best friend and partner Craig Tester to find a projector and bring it to the island pronto.

The projector was set up and an old white table cloth was used as the screen as Marty delicately loaded the first reel onto the projector. The film only lasted four total minutes but what the three men saw on the screen was shocking. It was not the location of the fabled money pit on the island, nor was it the proverbial "X" marks the spot where the treasure is buried but positive evidence of a 50 plus year conspiracy haunting the American public.

The film was shot in 1963, November 22nd, and it was filmed from behind the infamous grassy knoll. The film clearly shows two men in dark suits with rifles in their hands aiming towards the street. Seconds later a shot is fired and both men in the suits quickly disengage from the scene and walk toward the train yard only 50 feet away.

Attached to the canister casings was a note. It was a confession. The confession stated that these two men were hired to ensure if Oswald had missed that they would complete the assassination. They were hired by....

Richard Nixon.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/17/2017

Happy St Patricks Day 2017

Happy St. Patricks Day 2017 from all of us at the Grassy Knoll Institute. 


Please remember to tip your waitress (And not to take any wooden nickels is not a tip) and be respectful towards these hard working women. After all, they are working while we are enjoying the St. Patricks Day festivities. 

The Grassy Knoll Institute wishes everyone a safe and fun filled St. Patrick's Day and hopes all your barmaids look like Shannon tonight.(They will after 2am anyway)

Please use your designated driver when returning home or travelling from pub to pub.


LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/16/2017

Saint Patricks Day Sweater Ettiquette

Happy Saint Patricks Day
Now that's how to properly wear a sweater for your St. Patricks Day festivities. Take it from
Laci Kay Somers, an Instagram sensation. Check out her link here LaciKaySomers


LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/15/2017

Best Irish Bikini 2017


Winner of the 2017 Grassy Knoll Institute Best Irish Green Bikini is none other than the sensation from down under, Elyse Knowles. Check out Ms. Knowles Instagram page for her amazing modeling shoots and her candid behind the scenes pictures.


LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/13/2017

It Rains In Ireland - A Lot - Be Prepared

Be Prepared For Inclement Weather In Ireland
Planning a trip to Ireland. Let the Grassy Knoll Institute offer up a travel tip for you. Ireland has some very unique weather patterns. On any given day the morning may begin with sunshine and warmth but can change in an instant to rain and overcast skies. Be prepared for weather changes.

Visit Megan Thomas at her instagram page for more weather alerts and pictures.


LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/11/2017

Use Caution Asking For Irish Directions

Asking For Directions In Ireland.

If you find yourself lost on the Emerald Island be very cautious when approaching the locals and asking them for directions.

Example:

A lost tourist walks up to Pat and politely asks him, "Excuse me sir, what is the quickest way to Dublin?"

Pat stops what he is doing and replies, "Will ye be on foot or in the car?"

The tourist says, "In the car!"

Pat smirks and says, "That be the quickest way!!!"

Happy St. Patricks Day


LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/09/2017

Karen Gillan - St. Patricks Day Sci Fi Sexy Siren

karen-gillan-doctor-who-companion
Karen Gillan - St. Patricks Day Sexy Siren
You are in for a rare treat today Grassy Knoll Institute fans. Today we have a two category update for Sci-Fi Sexy Sirens and St. Patricks Day categories. (Usually you have to pay double for that kind of action if you know what I mean)

First for the St. Patricks Day category: Gorgeous 29 year old Karen Gillan is the very tall (5 foot 11 inches) winner of the sexiest redhead for 2017. The black leather catsuit and provocative pose helped things along quite nicely.

Secondly, Karen Killan lands a spot on the Sexy Sirens page for multiple reasons. Karen was the companion for several season on the hit BBC television series Doctor Who? As if that was not enough, Karen appeared in the movie remake, Jumanji, and starred in The Circle, Oculus, and Guardians Of The Galaxy 2. She is also currently filming Avengers Infinity Wars.

Visit Karen Gillans Instagram Page for more info and pictures


LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Sci-Fi Sexy Sirens brought to you by the Grassy Knoll Institute marketing team to boost readership and placement on search engines.

Lurking On The Grassy Knoll