4/01/2008

Sexy Body Paint Model


Is There A Doctor In The House!

No idea how this photo made into the April Fools Day Archives. Apparently Gumby isn't doing his goddam job.

Anyway, since the photo is posted, consider this a little tease preview of the 2008 National Halloween trade show Sexy Sirens in Las Vegas. Many photos to follow.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Nun Fun


As Mother Superior read a chilling excerpt from the Book Of Revelations, Sister Wylene and Winona prepared to commit one of the new and improved Vatican sanctioned mortal sins of fun.

After the dousing, the sisters beat it out of there leaving the reverend mother soaking wet screaming obscenities.

I am sure one way or the other, the bitching nuns will find a way to blame me for what happened.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Ghost Hunters Record Entity Proof


Ghost Hunters record empirical proof that supernatural entities exist.

Last Monday, March 24th, TAPS, (The Atlantic Paranormal Society) were invited to investigate an old brownstone home in New York. The house is at 278 West 113th Street in Harlem and was the house famous magician and escape artist Harry Houdini and his wife Bess purchased and lived in for many years.

The TAPS team of Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson set their camera's, thermal images devices, EVP's, EMP's, and digital recorders throughout the house. At 9pm, equipment was ready and it was lights out.

As the TAPS team swept through the house, every inch was recorded and detailed. With heightened anticipation, as that night was the birthday of Harry Houdini, the crew hoped to capture some evidence that Houdini's presence was still in the house.

Alas, no video was recorded, (No moving furniture, no strange bumps in the darks, no floating tambourine, no strange lights or orbs) but a small snippet of audio was recorded. As the TAPS crew usually do, they attempt to provoke the spirits to manifest themselves and show some sort of sign of their presence. It didn't appear to work that night.

Grant Wilson was in the drawing room of the home when he began to speak to Houdini asking him to show some sort of sign he was present but nothing registered on their instruments.

At 3am, the crew began packing up and went back to their office to analyze the data collected. After hours and hours of shadows and silence, Jason heard a startling sound recorded from the drawing room. It was a response that at first no one understood until further investigation into the history of Harry Houdini made the audio sounds become more clear.

The sounds heard were two words, "Rosabelle Believe!" At first, Jason and Grant felt that the words were merely random sounds that sometimes occur in paranormal investigations and dismissed as remnant paranormal activity.

Upon further review, Houdini was a staunch disbeliever in mediums and paranormal activity. In fact, the last several years of his life was spent debunking famous mediums as frauds and offered a $10,000 reward to anyone who could produce empirical proof that life after death existed. No one ever collected the prize.

However, before Houdini died, he and his wife Bess made a pact that if it were possible, he would make contact with her and for verification, (To avoid fraud from other mediums trying to cash in) a secret message that only Harry and Bess knew would be sent and verified that only Bess would understand.

Those two words were Rosabelle Believe!


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL




Michael Jackson In Disguise


Michael Jackson Returns To The States!

Michael Jackson, self appointed legendary King Of Pop made a surprise visit to the United States today ending his self imposed exile to Hollywood and the pop music culture.

Jackson had a very public trial for child molestation several years back on which he was acquitted but did admit to "Sleeping" with several of his young sleep over friends. After the trial, he left the states to regather his thoughts and avoid the tabloid spotlight.

We hardly recognized you through all the makeup.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Lost Update - Damn Dirty Ape


Lost Update Season IV 03/27/2008

There has been a lot of speculation about the “Foot” seen on the Lost island. The foot was shown only once and only for a precious few seconds. The Grassy Knoll Institute has been asked to explain the foot and what we believe it’s significance is to the Lost series. Our simple short answer is… Everything.

The photo above is of the famous Lost Foot. Take a good look at it. Not just the base featuring the four toed foot wearing a sandal, but the entire statue. Notice that it is broken and only partially intact. (This is important) One wonders what the entire statue looked like before it crumbled. What was attached to the foot? What was surrounding the statue? Perhaps the next photo below will shed some light on what the foot represents.


For those of you who do not recognize the photo, it is from the final scene of the classic 1968 movie, Planet Of The Apes.
(Dramatic Pause!)

Yes folks, the foot is none other than that of the "Lawgiver," the Christ figure of Ape World in the movie. Notice that the foot is broken and the pedestal is crumbled. Now notice the broken Statue Of Liberty. Both the Lawgiver and Statue Of Liberty are cultural icons, easily recognizable, and placed in prominent places.

Still not convinced?! Need more proof? No problem. Take a look at the picture below of the Lawgiver, an actual prop used on the set of Planet Of The Apes. Notice the Lawgiver has four toes and wearing sandals just like the foot on Lost. Both the foot and Lawgiver are the same color and texture.

There's still more! I told you this was a special Lost Update.

The screenplay of Planet Of The Apes was written by none other than Sci-Fi guru Rod Serling, the creator of the Twilight Zone, (A Sci-Fi supernatural television show from the 1960's depicting ordinary people thrust into bizarre and unexplainable situations with plenty of twists of fates and moral consequences.)


From reading the Grassy Knoll Institute Lost Updates, we all know that the program is similar to the old sci-fi series Twilight Zone and that the characters are from Twilight Zone episodes. This link will act as a refresher course to the TZ links. Lost In The Twilight Zone

Lets delve a little deeper into the Planet of The Apes and Lost to compare the story outlines of each.

On Lost, we all know the story begins with a plane crash. Same as with Planet Of The Apes. The spaceship crashed in the water and Taylor and the rest of the survivors swam to shore.

On Lost, they crashed on a strange mysterious island and we were immediately introduced to an invisible monster and miraculous healing properties. Planet Of The Apes also crashed on a strange mysterious planet and introduced the audience to talking apes who were the dominant species on this distant planet.

We learn on Lost that time is somehow distorted and perhaps is taking place in the past or the future. On Planet of The Apes, we learn that 2500 years have passed for the marooned astronauts.

Ben and the others village on Lost are the counterparts to the apes and Ape City on Planet Of The Apes.

The final scene has not yet been aired for Lost, (We have two more years for that) but by looking at Planet of The Apes, we can hazard a guess.

The ending of Planet of the Apes showed Taylor riding off with Nova, the female human mate he had chosen along the shoreline to find his destiny. He is warned by Dr. Zaius, the leader of Ape City, that he wouldn't like what he finds ahead. (Ben also warned the castaways that leaving is bad)

A few minutes more of following the shoreline and Taylor comes to the shocking realization that he is not on a distant planet, but at home, planet Earth, and that the world has destroyed itself and now apes rule in their place.

An old broken and half buried Statue Of Liberty drives home that realization as Taylor cries on the shore, "You finally did it, Damn you all to hell!"

There you go Lost fans. The meaning of the Foot.

Until next week, GET LOST!


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL



Big Brother Is Watching

Do you suspect your spouse or significant other is cheating on you? When you call his/her cell phone and they don't pick up, do you wonder if they are hooking up with a midnight delight?

Fear not mortals, the Grassy Knoll Institute has found a solution for you. This Internet program through the use of GPS tracking, can pinpoint a cell phone signal within two feet.

Simply click on the below web link. Then type in your spouses cell phone number and it will pinpoint exactly where they are within two feet.

Is he at a late night board meeting or at O'Malleys tavern pounding a few....Beers.

Is she at the Tupperware neighborhood party or riding the pony at a seedy no tell motel?

With one click, you can find out. Go head, you know you want to find out.

GPS Cell phone Tracking


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Woman Displays Her Bust


Bust On Display At Pensacola Florida Art Symposium

In a bold and daring move for the art world to see her "Talents," Graphic Design Artist extraordinaire The Latest Slub, proudly displayed her bust for all of Florida to see at the prestigious annual Art symposium.

I have to say it was the hit of the symposium.

PS: It looks just like your Halloween costume.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Burger Chef Is Still In Business


The Burger Chef fast food hamburger chain, defunct since the mid 1980's is making a come back.

Hardee's corporation, owner of the Burger Chef brand name relinguished the rights of the name in late 2006. When Hardee's bought all the Burger chef's, they immediately began converting them all to Hardee's fast food restaurants until no more burger Chef's were in business.

In January an entrepreneur constructed a replica of the Burger Chef restaurant and began serving the standard fare that was originally on the menu in the 1970's.

To kick off the grand opening, Burger Chef was offering the Super chef, which according to the Guinness book or world records, is the largest cheeseburger ever made.

Even more incredulous, Burger Chef has also rolled back prices to mid 1970's making this cheeseburger costing only 99 cents.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL