Making Poteen (Moonshine) is a sin in Ireland.
This fella goes to confession and gets the newly appointed priest. The fella begins, bless me father for I have sinned, I have made 8 gallons of poteen.
The new priest, unaware of what the penance for poteen (Moonshine) is in this parish, tells the gentleman to hold on a second and he'll be right back. The young priest leaves the confessional, walks into the sacristy where the Bishop is half asleep and says, "This fella in the confessional made 8 gallons of poteen, what should I give him?" The Bishop says, "Give him two pounds a gallon and not a penny more."
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/16/2008
The Irish People Can Read Your Mind
We Irish folks are a mystical and magical bunch. Many of us have the capability to read people's minds. Ahh, I can sense some skepticism from my readers. See, it's working already. I suppose I will have to prove my mind reading abilities with a test.
First, I need you to read and answer the following questions as fast as you can and then click on the comments section to be amazed.
Important! You must speak the answers out loud. You don't have to shout them, just say them in a normal voice.
Do not click the comments section until you complete the questions. Otherwise, it will ruin the test.
Ready, set, go.....Say your answers out loud please. I won't be able to hear you and read your mind if you don't.
What is one plus six?
What is two plus five?
What is three plus four?
What is four plus three?
What is five plus two?
What is Six plus one?
What's your favorite vegetable?
The answer is in the comments section......
First, I need you to read and answer the following questions as fast as you can and then click on the comments section to be amazed.
Important! You must speak the answers out loud. You don't have to shout them, just say them in a normal voice.
Do not click the comments section until you complete the questions. Otherwise, it will ruin the test.
Ready, set, go.....Say your answers out loud please. I won't be able to hear you and read your mind if you don't.
What is one plus six?
What is two plus five?
What is three plus four?
What is four plus three?
What is five plus two?
What is Six plus one?
What's your favorite vegetable?
The answer is in the comments section......
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
An Irish Fairy Tale
Shannon O'Malley wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Shannon sits weeping in the garden, her fairy godmother appears and promises to provide Shannon with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.
"First, you must wear a diaphragm." We all know what happens after these balls now don't we Shannon. And what would the priest say when he sees you in church?
Shannon agrees and asks what the second condition is.
"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Shannon nods and agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m.
Of course, 2:00 am comes and goes but Shannon doesn't show up! Finally, at 5:00 a.m. when the cock is crowing, Shannon shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours
ago!!!"
Shannon, still panting, replied, "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything and we had a wonderful time after the ball."
The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power! I demand that you tell me his name!"
Shannon replied, I can't remember his name exactly,... It was Peter, Peter, something or other eater."
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
"First, you must wear a diaphragm." We all know what happens after these balls now don't we Shannon. And what would the priest say when he sees you in church?
Shannon agrees and asks what the second condition is.
"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Shannon nods and agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m.
Of course, 2:00 am comes and goes but Shannon doesn't show up! Finally, at 5:00 a.m. when the cock is crowing, Shannon shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours
ago!!!"
Shannon, still panting, replied, "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything and we had a wonderful time after the ball."
The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power! I demand that you tell me his name!"
Shannon replied, I can't remember his name exactly,... It was Peter, Peter, something or other eater."
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/15/2008
The Essential Irish List
As by now you more than likely guessed that I am Irish. If you haven't, then you must be English....
Anyway, the following is my Irish list. A sort of best off Ireland.
My Favorite Irish Singer:
Van Morrison. Brown Eyed Girl.
U2 - Rock and roll from Bono and Edge for decades now and still going strong.
Enya - Just because of her Celtic voice and haunting melodies.
Irish Rovers - Yes, the unicorn song.
Favorite Irish Actors:
Colin Farrell. Best in S.W.A.T. and Daredevil.
Liam Neeson. A Jedi Knight and a teacher to the Caped Crusader Batman.
Pierce Brosnan. Bond, James Bond.
Favorite Actress:
Maureen OHara. Her role as Kate in the Movie "The Quiet Man" was made for her.
Favorite Irish Movie:
A Quiet Man. Starring John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara. A glimpse into old Irish country. Pretty funny story with plenty of beautiful scenery and Irish Catholic stereotypes.
Leprechaun. Yes, a Sci-Fi spoof about an evil Leprechaun on a killing spree after a group of people steal his pot of gold.
Favorite Irish Song:
Into the Mystic - Van Morrison
Danny Boy.
Favorite Irish Comedian:
Hal Roach. "Write it down, it's a good one."
Dennis Leary. "Can I just buy coffee flavored coffee?"
Favorite Irish Dancer:
Begrudgingly, Michael Flatly, Lord of the Riverdance.
Aww, who am I kidding. I hate Lord of the dance.
Favorite Irish Beer:
Guinness (Is there any other?)
Favorite Irish Ship:
Alas, tis was the Titanic. Several of my relatives attempted to cross the Atlantic on that ship. Alas, third class passengers didn't have much of a chance to survive.
Favorite Irish Saying:
"Is that yourself?" When seeing someone you know.
"Shut up lest ye be feelin the back of me hand!"
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Anyway, the following is my Irish list. A sort of best off Ireland.
My Favorite Irish Singer:
Van Morrison. Brown Eyed Girl.
U2 - Rock and roll from Bono and Edge for decades now and still going strong.
Enya - Just because of her Celtic voice and haunting melodies.
Irish Rovers - Yes, the unicorn song.
Favorite Irish Actors:
Colin Farrell. Best in S.W.A.T. and Daredevil.
Liam Neeson. A Jedi Knight and a teacher to the Caped Crusader Batman.
Pierce Brosnan. Bond, James Bond.
Favorite Actress:
Maureen OHara. Her role as Kate in the Movie "The Quiet Man" was made for her.
Favorite Irish Movie:
A Quiet Man. Starring John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara. A glimpse into old Irish country. Pretty funny story with plenty of beautiful scenery and Irish Catholic stereotypes.
Leprechaun. Yes, a Sci-Fi spoof about an evil Leprechaun on a killing spree after a group of people steal his pot of gold.
Favorite Irish Song:
Into the Mystic - Van Morrison
Danny Boy.
Favorite Irish Comedian:
Hal Roach. "Write it down, it's a good one."
Dennis Leary. "Can I just buy coffee flavored coffee?"
Favorite Irish Dancer:
Begrudgingly, Michael Flatly, Lord of the Riverdance.
Aww, who am I kidding. I hate Lord of the dance.
Favorite Irish Beer:
Guinness (Is there any other?)
Favorite Irish Ship:
Alas, tis was the Titanic. Several of my relatives attempted to cross the Atlantic on that ship. Alas, third class passengers didn't have much of a chance to survive.
Favorite Irish Saying:
"Is that yourself?" When seeing someone you know.
"Shut up lest ye be feelin the back of me hand!"
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Michael’s Gourmet Restaurant, Las Vegas
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| Michael's Restaurant |
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| Now That Is An Appetizer |
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| Filet Cut Like Butter |
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| Nuclear Chocolate Covered Strawberries |
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| After Dinner Fruit Basket |
The Grassy Knoll Institute awards 5 shots out of 5 and recommends Michael's Gourmet Restaurant when they reopen in the near future at a new location.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Responses to “Michael’s Gourmet Restaurant, Las Vegas”
3/14/2008
Nookie Green Irish Humor
To kick off the St. Patrick's Day weekend holiday, I offer an old family joke told over and over this time around St. Patrick's day.
When our family gets together, and there are a lot of us, we sit around the dinner table and tell old jokes. This is one of my favorites. Don’t stop me if you’ve heard it already, I have to much fun telling it again and again.
Father Flanagan enters the confessional ready to listen to the parishioners confess their sins. He hears the door creek open and a male voice begins to speak…..
“Bless me Father for I have sinned, it has been one month since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green every week for the last month.” Father Flanagan, hearing almost the same confession just the day before from Paddy begins to realize that Nookie Green is becoming very popular with the male parishioners. Then, he tells the sinner, “You are forgiven. Go now and say three Hail Mary’s and three Our Fathers.”
Soon, another man enters the confessional and begins, “Bless me Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the last two months.” This time Father Flanagan simply has to ask — “Who is Nookie Green?”
“A new widow woman in town,” the sinner replies. “Very well,” says the priest. “Go now and for penance, say ten Hail Mary’s and ten Our Fathers.” With that, the priest leaves the church wondering, what’s going on with this widow named Nookie Green?
The next morning in church Father Flanagan is preparing to deliver his sermon,when suddenly a gorgeously tall woman enters. All the men’s eyes fall upon her, as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down right in front of the priest. Her dress is a shiny bright green and way too short, and she is wearing matching shiny emerald green shoes, and a green boa.
Father Flanagan and the alter boys gasp, as the woman in the matching green outfit, sits there with her legs slightly spread apart. Father Flanagan turns to the alter boy and whispers, “Is that Nookie Green?” The alter boy, breathing hard, squints his eyes and replies; “No, I think it’s just the reflection off her shoes.”
Happy St. Patrick's Day To Ye
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
When our family gets together, and there are a lot of us, we sit around the dinner table and tell old jokes. This is one of my favorites. Don’t stop me if you’ve heard it already, I have to much fun telling it again and again.
Father Flanagan enters the confessional ready to listen to the parishioners confess their sins. He hears the door creek open and a male voice begins to speak…..
“Bless me Father for I have sinned, it has been one month since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green every week for the last month.” Father Flanagan, hearing almost the same confession just the day before from Paddy begins to realize that Nookie Green is becoming very popular with the male parishioners. Then, he tells the sinner, “You are forgiven. Go now and say three Hail Mary’s and three Our Fathers.”
Soon, another man enters the confessional and begins, “Bless me Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the last two months.” This time Father Flanagan simply has to ask — “Who is Nookie Green?”
“A new widow woman in town,” the sinner replies. “Very well,” says the priest. “Go now and for penance, say ten Hail Mary’s and ten Our Fathers.” With that, the priest leaves the church wondering, what’s going on with this widow named Nookie Green?
The next morning in church Father Flanagan is preparing to deliver his sermon,when suddenly a gorgeously tall woman enters. All the men’s eyes fall upon her, as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down right in front of the priest. Her dress is a shiny bright green and way too short, and she is wearing matching shiny emerald green shoes, and a green boa.
Father Flanagan and the alter boys gasp, as the woman in the matching green outfit, sits there with her legs slightly spread apart. Father Flanagan turns to the alter boy and whispers, “Is that Nookie Green?” The alter boy, breathing hard, squints his eyes and replies; “No, I think it’s just the reflection off her shoes.”
Happy St. Patrick's Day To Ye
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/08/2008
Triple Dog Dare
Triple Dog Dared!
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/05/2008
Maxwell's Restaurant - Grilled Chicken
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| Maxwells Of Gatlinburg |
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| Potato Soup |
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| Grilled Chicken |
The chicken tasted great. (It tasted just like chicken!) Very tender, juicy, and just spicy enough. As baked potatoes go, this one was very good.
The cost was just under $30 not including tip.
The Grassy Knoll Diner awards 4.25 out of 5 shots to Maxwell's Restaurant in Gatlinburg and recommends them for dinner.
Addendum: 10/24/2011: Sadly, Maxwell's restaurant has closed. The reason is not known. The sign is still up but no new restaurant seems to be going in anytime soon.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Responses to “Maxwell’s Restaurant – Gatlinburg”
- March 5, 2008 at 11:12 pm e
Contessa Confessa said
I just love a man that delivers… *wink* -
March 5, 2008 at 11:40 pm eThere’s plenty more where that came from.
I was at Stack, Kokomo’s, California pizza, and Carnegie Deli twice this trip. But I’m lazy, it will take a little while to get them posted. - March 6, 2008 at 1:36 am e
Eddy said
I thought you were in Las Vegas. or are you behing again. - March 6, 2008 at 7:25 am e
Jungljim69 said
You know what gets me LOTGK? You and I both travel extensively. When I look at the meal listed above and add up the cost of the ingredients, (.60 potato, .30 diet coke, 1.00 potato soup and MAYBE .99 worth of chicken and they have the nerve to charge 30.00 for it. I can see maybe charging 10.00. BASTARDS! -
March 7, 2008 at 12:19 am eExcellent point Jim.
I always wondered the same at the service garage for my car. You can buy the part needed to repair the car for 10 bucks, but then have to pay a mechanic 150 dollars to install it.I guess the same goes with restaurants.
You pay the cook 30 dollars to cook it.
Plus tip….
All of them bastards. -
April 6, 2009 at 3:47 pm eMy wife and I try to always get to Maxwell’s every time we are in Gatlinburg. I have always been happy with the quality of the service and the food. Given that it is a local restaurant we weren’t expecting a lot the first time we went in and honestly only did so because it was open later than most other places.The trout is good and the beef loin, excellent. The bananas foster is a kick but it’s definitely a dessert for two or more. I agree they are overpriced (what isn’t in Gatlinburg?) but for a couple’s night out I am willing to splurge a little.I recently tried getting to their website but the one I found had expired, I went to a to get the phone number to make sure they were still open for business.
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