New And Improved Thought Screen Helmet

Not feeling feminine fresh? Now you can everyday with the new and improved Thought Screen Helmet (Developed by the rocket scientists at the Grassy Knoll Institute) made just for women. Look, it has wings and it makes toast as an added bonus. The ultimate multi-task accessory for the on-the-go business women.

WARNING:
Women are not immuned from the threat of alien abduction as some people in the scientific community had believed. Wearing the TSH to board room meetings will assuredly get you noticed. In fact, you and your thought screen helmet will be the topic of conversation no matter where you go.
And who doesn't want that type of recognition.

Back To Thought Screen Helmets Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Waffles For Breakfast - Philadelphia Style

Liberty Bell Waffles

In August, we spent a couple of days in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. We stayed at the Downtown Philadelphia Marriott hotel. we had a very busy evening seeing the sites of the city and turned in for bed late. The next morning, we decided to eat at the hotel restaurant. (Mistake!)

We were seated quickly and soon the waitress took our order. I ordered a waffle with maple syrup and turkey sausages. After about 10 minutes wait, my waffle arrived, and as you can see, was as big as the plate. And being in Philly, it had the Liberty Bell icon embedded in the waffle. A nice touch.

The waffle was as waffles go, but it was good, cooked well, and filling. The turkey sausage was surprisingly good as well.

The cost however was where the good feelings ended. What you see here, a waffle, and several links of turkey sausage,  cost 18 bucks. Even for Manhattan, 18 bucks would be extremely high.

For the cost reason alone, the Grassy Knoll Institute does not recommend the downtown Philadelphia Marriott hotel restaurant for breakfast, lunch, or dinner and awards 1.5 shots out of 5.

Back To Blue Plate Special Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Bai Ling - Sci-Fi Sexy Siren

Bai Ling Star Wars Princess 

Bai Ling claims she is from the Moon and with a body like hers, who really cares. Bai Ling is best known for her nipple slip photo shoots but she achieves Sci-Fi Sexy Siren status for appearing in Star Wars Episode III - Revenge of the Sith as a princess. Also appeared in ABC's hit series Lost, Jake 2.0, The Breed, Wild, Wild, West, The Crow, and several other science fiction movies and TV shows. No nip slips here but still enjoy the beauty of Bai Ling.

Sci-Fi Sexy Sirens brought to you by the Grassy Knoll Institute marketing team to boost readership and placement on search engines.

Back To Sci-Fi Sexy Sirens

Lurking On The Grassy Knoll

Proof Of Second Shooter On The Grassy Knoll

Irrefutable Proof Of A Second Shooter

A signed confession on a U.S. dollar bill printed in the year 2000 is positive proof that Oswald did not act alone.

If it were Oswald who signed the dollar then the bill would have had to be dated 1963 or before. This one is clearly marked 2000 making it impossible for him to have signed it.

Therefore, the only logical conclusion is that a second assassin was lurking on the grassy knoll that fateful day in November 1963 and took aim at John Kennedy as he was riding in the motorcade and completed the assassination of our 35th president.

The Grassy Knoll Institute rocket scientists can only speculate as to why the assassin came forward after 40 plus years of silence to confess assuming that perhaps this man (FBI handwriting experts have already determined that a man wrote this confession) is dying and wished to clear his conscious before he passed away.

Back To Conspiracy Theories Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1. 
   

   Othepjavier said

   February 8, 2008 at 10:24 pm e
   Maybe the guy’s just making fun. How are they so sure that the man who wrote that really shot JFK?
   Reply
2. 
   

   Chica said

   February 9, 2008 at 12:19 am e
   I had a fiver the other day that led me to that Where’s George.com site, funny enough it was a 5 dollar bill, shoulda been wheresabe.com
   Reply
3. 
   

   LOTGK said

   February 9, 2008 at 12:53 am e
   Otherjavier,
   Because the dollar bill says so.
   Reply
4. 
   

   LOTGK said

   February 9, 2008 at 12:55 am e
   Yes Chica, very cool site. I happen to know that there are a few LOTGK dollars floating around in the economy.
   Reply
5. 
   

   Steamed-Clams said

   February 9, 2008 at 10:13 pm e
   I know who it was.
   A man gave me a dollar bill on Nov 22 of this year.
   Coincidence? I think not.
   Not only did he surreptitiously slip it into my change real casual-like, but he also asked;
   “Can I help you with anything else?”
   So the assumption that this criminal is dying and wants to unburden his soul is grossly erroneous.
   He wants another job.
   Seems to me we better keep Bush out of Texas for awhile.
   In fact, we should probably take him to a cave in Utah and hide him….far far away, for a long long time.
   We must make sure he survives.
   We must have proof for future generations that we did not invent him.
   Without him, no one will believe such a man ever existed.
   Reply
6. 
   

   LOTGK said

   February 9, 2008 at 11:04 pm e
   Forget about the cave in Utah. Romney has been hiding out there up until this year.
   Reply
7. 
   

   Steamed-Clams said

   February 9, 2008 at 11:57 pm e
   Yeah, But I hear Romney didn’t touch any of the complimentary booze, smokes and pretzels.
   Bush will be fine there.
   Reply
8. 
   

   LOTGK said

   February 10, 2008 at 1:27 am e
   Mitt was too busy with his eleven wives. Or so I’m told….
   Reply
9. 
   

   Chica said

   February 10, 2008 at 10:57 pm e
   If I ever get one, I’m going to keep it forever! LOL
   Reply
10. 
    

    Lori said

    February 11, 2008 at 4:56 am e
    the cave in Utah leads to hollow earth…which I am starting to believe that Elvis is living down there, along with Princess Diana, Marylin Monroe, Jim Morrison, Lee Harvey Oswald, Heath Ledger… and possibly the Kennedy brothers.
    Wouldnt that be a hoot?
    Im packing my bags, and taking a trip to Utah.
    I hear they dont age down there as fast.. I got only a few good years left if I stay here.. but I could stay young and good looking for a lot longer if I go there.
    And I am sick of spending my money on anti-wrinkle creams.
    Reply

11. Working Overtime At The Grassy Knoll Institute | Going Like Sixty said

    February 18, 2008 at 5:18 pm e
    [...] Grassy Knoll caseworkers are on their way to Dallas (let’s hope they know it’s in Texas…. News that a secret treasure trove of documents related to the Kennedy assassination was first [...]
    Reply
12. 
    

    Anti-Christ said

    March 26, 2008 at 12:25 pm e
    Wow, had a busy weekend with Jesus dying and all. But I’m back. I want to point out to you that the dollar bill doesn’t say “I” but “1″ as in one person shot JFK.
    Handwriting analysis on Oswald should prove that he wrote this on the dollar and that he acted alone in the murder of your Catholic president.
    Repent is to late. Kick back and enjoy life instead.
    Reply
13. 
    

    LOTGK said

    March 26, 2008 at 7:07 pm e
    Anti, problem with your theory, the bill is dated year 2000, 37 years after Oswald was murdered.
    Good catch though.
    Reply
14. 
    

    Gentledove said

    June 20, 2008 at 9:14 pm e
    It WAS George Washington wot did it.
    Reply
15. 
    

    LOTGK said

    June 21, 2008 at 12:14 am e
    Psst…. Over here.
    Rumor has it that a rocket scientist working at the Grassy Knoll Institute penned the phrase on the note.
    Reply
16. 
    

    Hamster said

    June 26, 2009 at 7:23 pm e
    Totally fake. Whata farce.
    Reply
    • 
      

      LOTGK said

      June 27, 2009 at 11:47 pm e
      What’s fake? What is a farce? It is a real dollar bill with a confession written on it. It offers more believable proof that the volumes published by the Warren Commission.
      Reply
17. 
    

    Jim Porter said

    January 5, 2010 at 1:08 pm e
    http://img33.picoodle.com/img/img33/3/11/15/f_osbanjom_22aa351.jpgThis picture was taken around 1230 pm on Nov.22 1963. Oswald was playing for a neighborhood hoot-n-nanny in his backyard during his lunch hour. Proof that he couln’t have been the shooter on the sixth floor of the TSBD.
    Reply
    • 
      

      Gumby said

      January 5, 2010 at 3:08 pm e
      I read that it was taken a week before the assassination.
      Reply
      • 
        

        LOTGK said

        January 6, 2010 at 8:49 am e
        Yes, I thought it was as well.
        Reply
18. 
    

    Jim Porter said

    January 7, 2010 at 2:41 pm e
    what are you talking about?
    Reply
    • 
      

      LOTGK said

      January 8, 2010 at 7:39 pm e
      About the picture of Oswald, I think that photo before 12:30pm on November 22, 1963.
      Reply
      • 
        

        Jim Porter said

        January 9, 2010 at 12:49 pm e
        Yeah, the real picture was in march, I WAS JOKING!
        Reply
        • 
          

          LOTGK said

          January 13, 2010 at 12:46 am e
          You don’t quite have the hang of conspiracy theories yet.
          You need to stick with the 1% truth and expand on that.
          Reply

Thought Screen Helmet Face Shield

No one can be 100% protected and secure from the evil race of aliens attempting to control ordinary citizens minds through telepathy. Thats why the Grassy Knoll Institutes team of rocket scientists have developed the Thought Screen Face Shield to compliment the thought screen helmet.

Up until today, the thought screen helmet was the only protection to prevent alien abduction and mind control. Now, the sleek light weight Thought Screen Face Shield is more added protection.

The Thought Screen Face Shield is constructed from durable lightweight polyurethane that contours to your facial features for a snug perfect fit. It is lined with a thin layer of velostat to block out a full frontal assault by thought controlling aliens giving you the freedom to go about your everyday chores and live a normal life.

Extensive testing proved when both are worn together, alien abductions dramatically decreased by over 95%. (Degree of accuracy scale is plus or minus 95%) With results like this, you cannot afford to be without one.

The Thought Screen Face Shield is proudly endorsed by:
The Phantom of the Opera
Freddy Kruger
Jason Verhooves
The Lone Ranger
Michael Myers
Spiderman
Batman
The Flash
The Green Lantern

Sold at reputable stores everywhere.

Back To Thought Screen Helmets Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Sexy Catholic School Teacher

Now that the Super Bowl is over, (The New York Giants spoiled the perfect season of the New England Patriots by beating them 17-14 in one of the most entertaining games in the 42 year history) class is back in session for all the Grassy Knoll Institute rocket scientists.

Todays lesson, of course, an oral exam. Hope everyone studied.

Back To Logo's Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Aunt Mahalia' s Caramel Apple - Gatlinburg

Aunt Mahalia's Caramel Apple - Gatlinburg

Doesn't this caramel apple look good? Yes, it was. While walking the parkway in Gatlinburg, Tennessee I saw this apple in the window of Aunt Mahalia's candy shop. It was actually calling my name. I replied.

In a nutshell, this caramel apple was one of the best I ever ate. The Grassy Knoll Institute awards 4 out of 5 shots and recommends Aunt Mahalia's caramel apples with a deduction of one point for the price, $2.00, seriously, two bucks for an apple. I guess location, location, location, is the price increase.

Back To Blue Plate Special Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Missed It By That Much - TU24

Asteroid TU24 Missed By This Much

Missed It By That Much

Asteroid TU24 safely flew by the earth this morning at 12:33 Eastern standard Time and did not impact as was predicted by our esteemed Grassy Knoll Institute rocket scientists. (The scientist in charge was given 40 lashes, and not the Max-Factor mascara type, and immediately fired)

Scientist 86 discovered his data was flawed after he failed to convert the telemetry data of the asteroid from U. S. standard measurements to metric. Thus, the error was the exact distance, 334,000 miles that asteroid TU24 missed the earth by.

The Curator of the Grassy Knoll Institute guarantee's that each and every conspiracy theory served up is worth at least 99 cents, if not more. Critical math errors are not tolerated here. Apparently more overtime is necessary for the rocket scientists here.

Would you believe.....

Back To Conspiracy Theories Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL