Thought Screen Helmet Face Shield

No one can be 100% protected and secure from the evil race of aliens attempting to control ordinary citizens minds through telepathy. Thats why the Grassy Knoll Institutes team of rocket scientists have developed the Thought Screen Face Shield to compliment the thought screen helmet.

Up until today, the thought screen helmet was the only protection to prevent alien abduction and mind control. Now, the sleek light weight Thought Screen Face Shield is more added protection.

The Thought Screen Face Shield is constructed from durable lightweight polyurethane that contours to your facial features for a snug perfect fit. It is lined with a thin layer of velostat to block out a full frontal assault by thought controlling aliens giving you the freedom to go about your everyday chores and live a normal life.

Extensive testing proved when both are worn together, alien abductions dramatically decreased by over 95%. (Degree of accuracy scale is plus or minus 95%) With results like this, you cannot afford to be without one.

The Thought Screen Face Shield is proudly endorsed by:
The Phantom of the Opera
Freddy Kruger
Jason Verhooves
The Lone Ranger
Michael Myers
Spiderman
Batman
The Flash
The Green Lantern

Sold at reputable stores everywhere.

Back To Thought Screen Helmets Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Sexy Catholic School Teacher

Now that the Super Bowl is over, (The New York Giants spoiled the perfect season of the New England Patriots by beating them 17-14 in one of the most entertaining games in the 42 year history) class is back in session for all the Grassy Knoll Institute rocket scientists.

Todays lesson, of course, an oral exam. Hope everyone studied.

Back To Logo's Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Aunt Mahalia' s Caramel Apple - Gatlinburg

Aunt Mahalia's Caramel Apple - Gatlinburg

Doesn't this caramel apple look good? Yes, it was. While walking the parkway in Gatlinburg, Tennessee I saw this apple in the window of Aunt Mahalia's candy shop. It was actually calling my name. I replied.

In a nutshell, this caramel apple was one of the best I ever ate. The Grassy Knoll Institute awards 4 out of 5 shots and recommends Aunt Mahalia's caramel apples with a deduction of one point for the price, $2.00, seriously, two bucks for an apple. I guess location, location, location, is the price increase.

Back To Blue Plate Special Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Missed It By That Much - TU24

Asteroid TU24 Missed By This Much

Missed It By That Much

Asteroid TU24 safely flew by the earth this morning at 12:33 Eastern standard Time and did not impact as was predicted by our esteemed Grassy Knoll Institute rocket scientists. (The scientist in charge was given 40 lashes, and not the Max-Factor mascara type, and immediately fired)

Scientist 86 discovered his data was flawed after he failed to convert the telemetry data of the asteroid from U. S. standard measurements to metric. Thus, the error was the exact distance, 334,000 miles that asteroid TU24 missed the earth by.

The Curator of the Grassy Knoll Institute guarantee's that each and every conspiracy theory served up is worth at least 99 cents, if not more. Critical math errors are not tolerated here. Apparently more overtime is necessary for the rocket scientists here.

Would you believe.....

Back To Conspiracy Theories Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

First Glimpse Of Asteroid TU24

First Glimpse Of Asteroid TU24 To Slam Into Earth

Asteroid TU24

As Monday rapidly approaches NASA has all their satellites trained on asteroid TU24 which is speeding towards earth on an direct impact course. The asteroid should hit the Southern hemisphere at 0500 GMT on Monday the 28th.

NASA through it's tracking satellites was able to capture this startling photograph of TU24 just as it swung around the moon heading towards earth.

God save us all.....
And for you atheists, you're up the creek without a paddle.

Back To Conspiracy Theories Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Bantry Bay Irish Pub - New York Cheeseburger

Bantry Bay

Back in February, while attending the Toy Fair, a huge blizzard canceled my flight back to Youngstown and I had to scramble for lodging for the evening or stay trapped at the airport all night. I supposedly got lucky and found a room at the Best Western hotel about 10-12 miles from LaGuardia airport, New York. Being that the Best Western did not have a restaurant, and I did not have a rental car, my options were to go hungry or find a place to eat within walking distance. (I should have went hungry)

The Bantry Bay Bar is located just on the outskirts of Brooklyn, within walking distance of the Best Western hotel and since I was walking in blizzard conditions and I was hungry,  Irish food it was.

The Sign On The Wall Said...

Walking into the joint I was greeted with this sign. At least there weren't any bugs. And no employee's either. The place was deserted which is never a good sign. A few shout out hello's and a blond waitress appears from the back room, smiles, and told me to take a seat anywhere. She handed me a menu and said she would be right back for my order.

Yes - I Said Cheese Balls

My order started with an appetizer of cheese balls with marinara sauce. I won't say these were tasteless, or terrible, but I will certainly print it.

Not The Cheeseburgers You're Looking For

My main order was a cheeseburger and french fries. When it arrived to my table, things were looking up as the cheeseburger looked pretty enticing. Until I took a bite. I have to say, it was one of the worst tasting burgers I ever encountered. Being very hungry, I managed to choke about half of it down and relied on the adequate at best fries to fill my hunger desire.

The cost for this meal was about $20 not including tip.

The Grassy Knoll Institute awards 1.25 shots out of 5 and does not recommend the Bantry Bay bar located in Brooklyn, New York.

Back To Blue Plate Special Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1. 
   

   Slub said

   December 21, 2007 at 2:21 am e
   aah. I think I posted a comment to the other blog…
   Anyway. Do you know how I can put a mp3 into my posts?
   That cheeseburger looked good until I read that it sucked.
   Reply
2. 
   

   GIDave said

   December 21, 2007 at 4:31 pm e
   Looks can be deceiving huh. What did it taste like? Just burned, or raunchy tasting.
   Reply

Asteroid To Hit Earth 01/28/2008

It has been confirmed that an asteroid is on a collision course to impact Earth in the Southern hemisphere on Monday, January 28th at approximately 0500 GMT. This rogue (A large, destructive, and anomalous or unpredictable heavenly body operating outside normal or desirable controls) asteroid is the size of the Sears Building in Chicago and was just discovered by NASA as it entered our solar system when it changed course towards earth.

Up until Monday the 21st, NASA was tracking the asteroid (Named TU24) displaying it's trajectory course and danger level towards earth and the probability of an impact. Yesterday, all data relating to TU24, it's mass, size, trajectory course, time of impact, was deleted and erased from the website and in it's place was a sign stating that the asteroid had a zero percent chance of striking earth and the threat level was minimal at best. (On Monday, the odds were 50-50 chance and closing for an impact.)

The Grassy Knoll Institute understands how governments work in times of crisis especially when no solution is available such as an Armageddon sized asteroid that has the potential to end all life on the planet. The government institutes it's plausible deniabilty scenario preaching ignorance is bliss and seemingly everyone goes about their business. Except the heads of state.

Imagine if the government went public and broadcast to the world that an asteroid would impact the earth causing total devastation. The panic and chaos of the public would cause a complete breakdown of government as hysteria and looting would continue right up until impact. Hence, all information on asteroid TU24 has been deleted.

Starting this weekend, keep an eye on the movement of our public figures such as the president, vice president, key cabinet members and scientists from NASA. They will begin to disappear from the public eye as they quickly gather in underground bunkers to safely weather the impact.

It's the weekend, and the end of the world is coming on Monday. It's time to check your bucket list and get cracking.

Back To Conspiracy Theories Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Philadelphia Museum Of Art Logo

Right across the street of the Philadelphia Museum Of Art is a quaint little landing and gazebo overlooking the river. An old wooden fence guards against the danger of falling over the ledge and down the side of the ravine.As with almost all public places, etchings and carvings adorn the fence.

Back To Logo's Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL