1/27/2008

First Glimpse Of Asteroid TU24

First Glimpse Of Asteroid TU24 To Slam Into Earth
Asteroid TU24

As Monday rapidly approaches NASA has all their satellites trained on asteroid TU24 which is speeding towards earth on an direct impact course. The asteroid should hit the Southern hemisphere at 0500 GMT on Monday the 28th.

NASA through it's tracking satellites was able to capture this startling photograph of TU24 just as it swung around the moon heading towards earth.

God save us all.....
And for you atheists, you're up the creek without a paddle.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1/25/2008

Bantry Bay Irish Pub - New York Cheeseburger

bantry-bay-brooklyn-ny
Bantry Bay
Back in February, while attending the Toy Fair, a huge blizzard canceled my flight back to Youngstown and I had to scramble for lodging for the evening or stay trapped at the airport all night. I supposedly got lucky and found a room at the Best Western hotel about 10-12 miles from LaGuardia airport, New York. Being that the Best Western did not have a restaurant, and I did not have a rental car, my options were to go hungry or find a place to eat within walking distance. (I should have went hungry)

The Bantry Bay Bar is located just on the outskirts of Brooklyn, within walking distance of the Best Western hotel and since I was walking in blizzard conditions and I was hungry,  Irish food it was.

The Sign On The Wall Said...
Walking into the joint I was greeted with this sign. At least there weren't any bugs. And no employee's either. The place was deserted which is never a good sign. A few shout out hello's and a blond waitress appears from the back room, smiles, and told me to take a seat anywhere. She handed me a menu and said she would be right back for my order.
Yes - I Said Cheese Balls
My order started with an appetizer of cheese balls with marinara sauce. I won't say these were tasteless, or terrible, but I will certainly print it.
not-the-cheeseburgers-you're-looking-for
Not The Cheeseburgers You're Looking For
My main order was a cheeseburger and french fries. When it arrived to my table, things were looking up as the cheeseburger looked pretty enticing. Until I took a bite. I have to say, it was one of the worst tasting burgers I ever encountered. Being very hungry, I managed to choke about half of it down and relied on the adequate at best fries to fill my hunger desire.

The cost for this meal was about $20 not including tip.

The Grassy Knoll Institute awards 1.25 shots out of 5 and does not recommend the Bantry Bay bar located in Brooklyn, New York.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL


Responses to “Bantry Bay Irish Bar”


  1. Slub said

    aah. I think I posted a comment to the other blog…
    Anyway. Do you know how I can put a mp3 into my posts?
    That cheeseburger looked good until I read that it sucked.

  2. GIDave said

    Looks can be deceiving huh. What did it taste like? Just burned, or raunchy tasting.

Asteroid To Hit Earth 01/28/2008

It has been confirmed that an asteroid is on a collision course to impact Earth in the Southern hemisphere on Monday, January 28th at approximately 0500 GMT. This rogue (A large, destructive, and anomalous or unpredictable heavenly body operating outside normal or desirable controls) asteroid is the size of the Sears Building in Chicago and was just discovered by NASA as it entered our solar system when it changed course towards earth.

Up until Monday the 21st, NASA was tracking the asteroid (Named TU24) displaying it's trajectory course and danger level towards earth and the probability of an impact. Yesterday, all data relating to TU24, it's mass, size, trajectory course, time of impact, was deleted and erased from the website and in it's place was a sign stating that the asteroid had a zero percent chance of striking earth and the threat level was minimal at best. (On Monday, the odds were 50-50 chance and closing for an impact.)

The Grassy Knoll Institute understands how governments work in times of crisis especially when no solution is available such as an Armageddon sized asteroid that has the potential to end all life on the planet. The government institutes it's plausible deniabilty scenario preaching ignorance is bliss and seemingly everyone goes about their business. Except the heads of state.

Imagine if the government went public and broadcast to the world that an asteroid would impact the earth causing total devastation. The panic and chaos of the public would cause a complete breakdown of government as hysteria and looting would continue right up until impact. Hence, all information on asteroid TU24 has been deleted.

Starting this weekend, keep an eye on the movement of our public figures such as the president, vice president, key cabinet members and scientists from NASA. They will begin to disappear from the public eye as they quickly gather in underground bunkers to safely weather the impact.

It's the weekend, and the end of the world is coming on Monday. It's time to check your bucket list and get cracking.

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1/19/2008

Philadelphia Museum Of Art Logo


Right across the street of the Philadelphia Museum Of Art is a quaint little landing and gazebo overlooking the river. An old wooden fence guards against the danger of falling over the ledge and down the side of the ravine.As with almost all public places, etchings and carvings adorn the fence.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1/16/2008

Cadillac Ranch Logo


Well, there she sits buddy justa gleaming in the sun
There to greet a working man when his day is done
I'm gonna pack my pa and I'm gonna pack my aunt
I'm gonna take them down to the Cadillac Ranch

By Bruce Springsteen



LURKING, BACK SEAT DRIVING, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1/14/2008

Scientists Create Life With Cloning Technique

American scientists, (Dr. Frankenstein) from the Institute for Biological Energy Alternatives, have created an artificial virus that has the ability to reproduce itself. The scientists named the new living virus, Phi-X174 bacteriophage.

This is a first for the scientific community where a virus was created from the ground floor up. What's even more astonishing is that the virus began to replicate itself almost immediately after it was created. (Sounds like the premise for a cheap horror movie but its true)

Genome mapping experts praised the virus creation as a stepping stone to human life creation. From this, the next step is the growing and cultivating of living human tissue and organs for people needing a transplant. From there, in a few more years, cloning a complete human being. One more step after that, Frankensteins monster, the complete cloning and replication of the entire body, mind, and spirit into a new fresh healthy body.

Sound monstrous? you bet it is. That is why this achievement has been swept under the proverbial carpet. The virus was created in 2003, and has been kept under wraps for fear of what this virus could do if perhaps it mutated and got out of control of the scientists. Since it is a new virus, there would be no immunity from the public meaning that if the virus turned lethal, millions of people would perish until a vaccine was developed to stop the rampage. Vaccine development of a synthetic virus would take months if not years to complete.

Angry lynch mobs are now forming in a city near you. The Grassy Knoll Institute will supply the townsfolk with all the torches they need to storm the castle.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1/11/2008

Paris Hilton Almost Nude


Location, Location, Location

Brought to you by the shameless Grassy Knoll Institute marketing team to create brand recognition and promotion.

Paris Hilton wearing a Devo plastic hat and just about nothing else. Are we not men? We are Devo!



LURKING, WHIP IT GOOD, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1/10/2008

Thought Screen Helmet Safe Sex

Alien-Sexual-Relations
Alien Sexual Relations
Oral Is Totally Out Of The Question

Dick and Jane have a problem. Both of them have been targeted by an evil race of aliens attempting to control their minds through telepathy. Hence, they must wear thought screen helmets 24 hours a day 7 days a week, the only device known to mankind to prevent alien abduction.

This puts a serious damper on their sex lives.


LURKING, OH THE HUMANITY, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL