Dunkin Donuts - Assorted Dozen

Bakers Dozen 

Location: Dunkin Donuts, 6015 Market St, Youngstown, Ohio (330) 758-7175
The Order: Several dozen assorted donuts.
The Service: Picked up by one of the many minions of the Grassy Knoll Institute corporate offices.
The Taste: Very fresh. Very good. Even several bagels were present.Cake donut with chocolate frosting was my choice.
Presentation: Semi sturdy colorful Dunkin Donut logo box.
The Value: About 60 cents per donut. Not bad.

The Rating: 3 out of 5 shots. Grassy Knoll Diner recommends Dunkin Donuts.

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Cafe Roma - Pepperoni Roll

Cafe Roma Pepperoni Roll

Cafe Roma

Location: Cafe Roma 2nd Floor YMCA 17 N. Champion Street Youngstown, OH 44503 330-746-6900.

The Order: Pepperoni roll and sauce.
The Service: Of course it was take out. The Grassy Knoll secret corporate office is far to busy to take a leisurely lunch break.
The Taste: adequate. The dough was overcooked, almost burnt. The cheese, on the other hand, was all clumped together and was semi cold.
Presentation: Standard white styrofoam container.
The Value: Under 4 bucks. Not bad, until you look at other rolls on the market.
The Rating: 2 out of 5 shots. Grassy Knoll Diner does NOT recommend the pepperoni roll at Cafe Roma.

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Arby's Restaurant - Arby's Roast Beef Sandwich

Arbys Original Roast Beef Sandwich

Arby’s Restaurant
Location: Arby’s on Route 46, Youngstown, Ohio
The Order: Arby’s Giant Roast beef sandwich and an order of potato cakes.
The Service: But of course it was take out service again.
The Taste: Sandwich and cakes were hot. The bun was not soggy. The beef completely cooked. No fat. The cakes were a little greasy but good.
Presentation: Wrapped in an Arby’s aluminum foil package and an Arby’s logo cakes holder.
The Value: With coupon, the giant was $1.99 and the potato cakes were 79 cents.
The Rating: 3.25 out of 5 shots. Grassy Knoll Diner recommends Arbys giant sandwich.

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Canfield Scaregrounds - Pizza And Fries

Canfield Scaregrounds Pizza And Fries

In our continuing search for supernatural occurrences, the Grassy Knoll Institute scientists found ourselves at the Canfield Scaregrounds for a round of the haunted hay ride which will be critiqued in an upcoming entry. This entry however is all about the food offered before and after the haunt.
We selected a slice of pizza, which was $2.50 a slice, and the $4.00 cup of french fries. Napkins were optional. We had to hunt them down. A seating area was also very elusive. There were no seats, a bench, nothing except the counter top of the pizza and fries booth.

The pizza, well, let me say that at least it was hot. Other than that, it was terrible. In fact, it may have been toast with tomato sauce and cheese cut in the shape of a slice of pizza. It was that bad.

The cup of fries, I didn’t opt for the big Bucket O Fries for 8 bucks but instead went with the 4 buck size. Again, at least they were hot. A little undercooked, they were a little slimy, way to greasy, and no plastic fork to scoop out the fries.

The Grassy Knoll Diner does not recommend pizza and fries at the Canfield Scaregrounds and only rates 1.5 out of 5 shots.

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Plaza Donuts - Assorted Dozen

Plaza Donuts Boardman Ohio

Location: 3383 Canfield Rd – (330) 799-6166
The order: A dozen donuts.
The Service: Walk in service. Fresh donuts were just being put out.
The Taste: Fantastic. The best ones are the cake donut with chocolate frosting. The donuts were fresh, almost still warm, and they smelled delicious. And they were.
Presentation: Standard cardboard box with logo on outside.
The Value: $4.59 for a dozen. Pretty good deal.

The Rating: 4.25 out of 5 shots. Grassy Knoll Diner recommends Plaza Donuts.

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Thought Screen Helmet President Addresses Public

I Am Not Just The President I Am Also A Client

Hello, I'm Art Skimmelhorn, president of Thought Screen Helmets for humanity, and I'm here with some new and important information for people who are being abducted by aliens through thought control manipulation. Simply put, the thought screen helmet prevents telepathic communication and control between you and the alien race. The helmet emits a low frequency electromagnetic signal that scrambles the telepathic ability of the aliens thus breaking control of the aliens. Our patented thought screen helmet can be yours free of charge by calling our toll free 800 number. A small shipping charge may apply...With each delivery, a complete instructional booklet comes packed with each and every thought screen helmet including a detailed history of the helmet and how it has helped countless thousands of people. And if you act now, we will ship free of charge to you, an additional velostat replacement patch for your thought screen helmet.

And remember, I'm not only the president, I'm also a client.

Disclaimer: By wearing the thought screen helmet, certain side effects may occur including excessive sweating, weight loss, low self esteem, bad hair days, lack of dates, companionship, ringing in the ears, laughter, and possible termination of your job.
Furthermore, the thought screen helmet is not available in stores. Is not a male natural enhancement. People who have been regularly wearing the thought screen helmet have not been abducted by aliens but your results may vary. Void where prohibited by law. Of course, some assembly required. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. No user-serviceable or movable parts are inside the helmet. One size fits all. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. (Sexually or mentally) Keep away from fire or flame. Not an effective motorcycle helmet. Some equipment optional. This offer supersedes all previous offers. Batteries not included. Watch for falling rocks while wearing helmet. Never pet a burning dog while wearing the helmet. Marriage is not recommended while wearing the helmet. Is not a reliable food source nor a substitute for fiber.

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Put A Helmet On That Soldier

It has come to the attention of the Grassy Knoll Institute that the race of giant aliens currently roaming the earth planning on world domination has another enemy. After analyzing the above picture, scientists at the Institute concluded that the apparatus the alien is wearing on his head is in fact a Thought Screen Helmet.

As we all know by now, the thought screen helmet prevents telepathic communication and control between you and the alien race. The helmet emits a low frequency electromagnetic signal that scrambles the telepathic ability of the aliens thus breaking control of the aliens. It would appear that two separate races of aliens are warring against each other and the earth is the battlefield.

Speculation has it that perhaps we should forge an alliance with one of the alien races. An enemy of my enemy, is my enemy, or friend, or their enemy, or our friend and enemy. I don't know how that goes, but it sounds like a prudent idea.

Put a helmet on that soldier! It's going into battle. It's going to see some action dammit...!

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Avalon Gardens Restaurant

Avalon Gardens Chicken Strips And Potato Wedges

Location: 1719 Belmont Ave Youngstown, OH 44504 Phone (330) 747-7800
The Order:. Chicken fingers and french fries with barbeque sauce. Side order of loaded potato skins minus sour cream.
The Service: Standard take out service. Phone in order, pick up in 20 minutes.
The Taste: The Chicken was well cooked, juicy, and tasty and warm. The fries were Idora Park type and were a little soggy but still good. The potato skins were warm with plenty of cheese and bacon and no sour cream as was ordered.
Presentation: As usual, a white Styrofoam container with a lifeless piece of lettuce added for reasons unknown.
The Value: At $7.50 the value was adequate but unlike past visits, only four pieces of chicken and only a smattering of fries were present. Add a piece of chicken and more fries and you have a bargain.
The Rating: 3.5 out of 5 shots. Grassy Knoll Diner recommends Avalon Gardens for lunch.

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