Lost Update - Time Passages

Lost Update - Season V - 02/04/2009

It was late in December
The sky turned to snow
All round the day was going down slow
Night like a river beginning to flow
I felt the beat of my mind
Go drifting into time passages
Years go falling in the fading light
Time passages
Buy me a ticket on the last plane home tonight

The above song lyrics was penned by Al Stewart, and aptly named Time Passages. As usual with my Lost updates, the lyrics and songs I select are an integral part of my Lost theory and what is really happening on the show.

Just what is the Grassy Knoll Institutes Lost theory….I've been waiting a long time to tell you.....
Although it appears the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 are on a tropical island, they are being deceived. There is no island. The survivors are in a virtual reality laboratory. All the castaways are interconnected to one another sharing each others thoughts, memories, and feelings. While in this virtual reality laboratory, a battery of physical and mental experiments are performed on them. And who is running these experiments? As Juliet stated, the Aliens of course.

Tonight's episode was all about convergence. (Found on Wikipedia: In mathematics, convergence describes limiting behavior, particularly of an infinite sequence or series, toward some limit. To assert convergence is to claim the existence of such a limit, which may be itself unknown. For any fixed standard of accuracy, however, you can always be sure to be within that limit, provided you have gone far enough.) (Sounds a whole lot like the gibberish Daniel Faraday spews under his breath doesn't it?)

Off the island, Ben (He who always lies) is rounding up the Oceanic six preparing them to return to the island. Ben already had Locke, (Dead and in the casket) and Jack and Sayid, and Hurley was on ice in the county jail lockup. Ben lied (of course) to get Kate motivated to leave, as he was behind the lawsuit to take Aaron away from her. They are on their way back to the island. Convergence.

While on the island, of course, the Others are already there. But wait! Not just the Others, but a younger version of the Others, except for Richard of course. And remember the flaming arrows shot at the castaways on the beach? They are also there. My guess is that they are the inhabitants of the Black Rock ship. Convergence.

Speaking of the castaways. They encounter themselves from several months ago. Reminded me of the Austin Powers movie where he went back and forth in time and met himself. (No, I'm austin Powers from ten minutes ago!) Locke also recognized the Hatch light as they were walking through the jungle. If you recall, Locke blew up the hatch several months ago and is now reliving it, or perhaps just observing the past. Convergence.

Wait, there's still more. The ill-fated French expedition washes ashore. Danielle is young and pregnant, and they pick up a passenger. Jin. Except he and the French are 16 years in the past. Convergence.

Don't forget about Desmond and Penny who are as I type on their way back to the Lost island. You know Walt will make an appearance soon. Convergence.

Tonight's episode was all about convergence. Wait a minute, didn't I just print that a few minutes ago? Or am I going to print that in the future? Or am I typing this right now? Ask Desmond, he knows!

Tidbits from tonight's episode:

*Claire's mother was used as a ploy to get Kate to react. Jack blurted out Aaron, who she did not know about. That will come back to haunt him.

*Ben always lies. You can insert this every week.

*Juliet and Sawyer are getting cozy. Just as I predicted.

*The nose bleeds. Charlotte and Miles have them, and then Juliet at the end of the show. Why only them?

The virtual reality tie in... Tonight's episode is a continuation from the season opener. The castaways are on a time journey, jumping from one loop to another. One moment they are in the past, or at least what they perceive is the past. The next moment they are in the future, or at least what they perceive is the future. and the next, back to the present, or at least what they perceive to be the present.

As I preached several years ago, all the castaways are interconnected sharing the same virtual reality experience. (Sounds like a ride at universal Theme park) As stated previously, when oddities occur, Jacks father on the island, Hurley talking to his dead pal, Kate seeing a horse, etc, reality is bleeding through and some are close to consciousness thus severing the link.

As in virtual reality video games, reset the game, start fresh with new parameters and choose from all the characters who you want to be. The rest of Time Passages by Al Stewart is below. The lyrics will bring my point home.

Well, I'm not the kind to live in the past
The years run too short and the days too fast
The things you lean on
Are the things that don't last
Well, it's just now
And then my line gets cast into these
Time passages
There's something back here that you left behind
Oh, time passages
Buy me a ticket on the last plane home tonight

Hear the echoes and feel yourself starting to turn
Don't know why you should feel
That there's something to learn
It's just a game that you play

Until next week, Get Lost!

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Halfway To Horny

Where Catholic Priests Go For Their Final Vows

Lets hope the Boy scouts Of America aren't camping at the next exit.

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Hey Donkey

Being a veteran of trade shows, I am quite familiar with the setup and mechanics of the ones I attend. Except for one show I was asked to attend and fill in for a colleague of mine.

Usually, I know what hall the show is located in and the name of the company I will be assisting, the personnel in the booth, and the booth row and booth number. That wasn't the case for this show.

All I knew is the that it was located in the Nashville convention center and I was to be there Friday and Saturday. I asked my colleague how was I going to find where I needed to go.

He said he knew the first name of the contact, (Mike) but not the company name he was exhibiting under because they went under several names. However, he said I wouldn't have any problem finding the booth. He said to walk into the show and listen for a man that sounded like Shrek!

Shrek! WTF? I asked, "That's it! That's how I'm supposed to find the booth? By listening for a man that sounded like the Disney cartoon character Shrek?" He assured me that I would have no problem.

My flight to Nashville was uneventful and I checked into my hotel and went to find Shrek in the convention center. Thankfully, this trade show was a small one, only about 300 vendors and about 600 booths lined up in 10 rows. (Some shows have thousands of vendors and thousands of booths)

I decided to start at the first row and work my way around the show. I walked up the aisle slowly listening to the people talking hoping to hone in on the Shrek voice. No luck in row one. None in row two or three either. As I turned the corner of row four, I heard a man talking very loud. With an accent. A Scottish accent. I heard him say, "Hey donkey, that's not where that goes." A few seconds later I came face to face with Shrek. He was talking up a storm and he sounded exactly like Shrek. And looked a lot like him as well. A blockhead, big ogre type shoulders, tall, round stick out ears, just sans the green coloring. Give him a club and he could double as Shrek.

I started laughing out loud. Shrek, (Mike) turned around and stopped what he was doing for a moment and sized me up. He then said, "Oh, look at the funny man. Who are you supposed to be?" I told him I was Patrick and was here to help him. He said, "Oh, that's just great!" I told him, "Just don't call me donkey there Shrek!"

My colleague forgot to tell me that Mike (Shrek) didn't like to be compared to the cartoon character. Mike clammed up for a moment, gave me one of those upset looks that Shrek did and folded his arms and just stared at me. I couldn't help it. I said, "Hey look, it's Cameron Diaz!" (Princess Fiona, Shrek's love interest) All weekend long I called him Shrek. After a while, he got used to it.

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Lost Update - Fly Like An Eagle

lost Update - Season V - 01/28/2009

Time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin,
Into the future.
Time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin,
Into the future.

I want to fly like an eagle to the sea.
Fly like an eagle, Let my spirit carry me.
I want to fly like an eagle till I'm free.
Oh, lord, through the revolution.

In the 1950's the United States military tested hydrogen bombs on deserted islands to measure radiation fallout, destruction, and half life of radiation. In 1969, a new TV drama series titled The New People debuted. It was written by Rod Serling, creator of the Twilight zone.

The premise of The New People series was…. A group of young American college students plane crash lands on a deserted island. The students are a diverse bunch, from every walk of life and every field of study. The New People find out that the island they are on is called Bomano island and is targeted as a nuclear bomb test island. The New People decide to form their own government in hopes of righting what was wrong in the real world. The unknown question was whether the United States would ever continue its tests and detonate a nuclear bomb on the island.

What the hell does this have to do with tonight's Lost episode? For the answer, we have to go back to the past. How befitting. In My Lost update from June of 2006 titled If I Could Turn Back Time, this storyline is discussed in greater detail. And now tonight, on Lost, it's happening all over again.

The year is 1954. Location, a mysterious island. The players, a group of diverse people on the island, the U.S. military, and a hydrogen bomb. Richard Alpert, leader of the "Others" reveals the hydrogen bomb testing alluding to the Rod Serling tie in. That was a major tie in and to me, a major clue of what is really happening on Lost and how my theory relates to tonight's episode.

Just what is my theory….. It lies somewhere in the fifth dimension.
Although it appears the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 are on a tropical island, they are being deceived. There is no island. The survivors are in a virtual reality laboratory. All the castaways are interconnected to one another sharing each others thoughts, memories, and feelings. While in this virtual reality laboratory, a battery of physical and mental experiments are performed on them. And who is running these experiments? As Juliet stated, the Aliens of course.

Tonight's episode continues with the time shifting arc as the island phased in and out of time. Penny is pregnant and giving birth. A moment later their child (Charlie) is 4 years old. On the island, the castaways are also time shifting and Locke is determined to put an end to it. He replies to Sawyer, if you've just been what I went through, you would ask when the hell have I been.

We also learn a little more about Chuck Widmore. He was one of the original others under Richard Alpert. He snapped the neck of his comrade when they were captured when he was going to reveal the location of their camp.

OK, I know, where the hell is the virtual reality theory tie in? Tonight, we're going to look at Charles Widmore. In the 1950's, he was a soldier under the command of Richard. Charles was a lowly grunt and in the future, he is a very powerful and wealthy man. Everything that he wasn't on the island.

Widmore's virtual reality experiment was a simple one. Gave a man of common means unlimited wealth and power and study the changes in personality. Charles now has two paths to choose from. The classic good and evil path. It would appear that Widmore chose the evil path and built an empire with influence over governments and feared by many. Unlike when he was on the island. Case in point: Richard gives Widmore a command and when he doesn't oby immeditaely, Richard smacks the gun away from Widmore and scolds him in front of the group.

For the Oceanic six that escaped the island and now have to return. At first, it appeared that they were getting everything they wanted. Jack and Kate together, Sun becoming a powerful woman, Hurley safe and comfortable, and Sayid hooking up with the love of his life that he was searching for 7 years.

Returning to the island is sort of like resetting a video game. Getting a new life. All the wounds being healed. New supplies. New personalities. Another chance. For the returning six, they will be reset and absorbed back into the virtual reality connection with new parameters for them.

And one more thing before we get to the tidbits. John Locke, literally a broken man off the island, has ascended to his ultimate dream. He is the leader of his people. And that's all he ever wanted. Respect!

Tidbits from tonight's episode:
*The others were taught Latin to communicate in private. Latin is a dead language.

*Daniel Faraday's research was funded by Charles Widmore.

*The hydrogen bomb's name was Jughead, the title of tonight's episode.

*Richard is really old. He's always been on the island.

*The U.S. military have been involved with the Lost island since at least 1954.

Until next week, Get Lost!

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Consequences Not Wearing Thought Screen Helmet

Consequences Of Not Wearing A thought Screen Helmel

Just Saying...
Don't let this happen to you!!!
Make sure your thought screen helmet is properly constructed.
Do not skimp on the magical 3M velostat cloth.
Make sure your helmet covers your entire dome.
Wear it at all times.

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A Clockwork Orange Remake

I spied these two men riding the Ober Gatlinburg ski lift. My wife Patty told me to take their picture. So I did. A moment later, it reminded me of the characters in the Stanley Kubrick film, A Clockwork Orange. We laughed like idiots the rest of the way down the lift.

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Carrabba’s Italian Restaurant – Chicken Parmesan

Carrabba's Italian Grill

Youngstown, Ohio and the surrounding area's have many fine restaurants. Unfortunately Carrabba's is not one of them. It's not the worst either. The service was adequate, the seating OK, the cost affordable, but there was nothing outstanding about the place. Nothing that snapped, popped, or sizzled.

House Salad

We were seated quickly and our waiter brought us water and our menu's. A few minutes later, she took our dinner orders. This salad is the standard house salad. A little cheese, a tomato, a cucumber, a few croutons, and some lettuce. The salad tasted good, not great, but good.

Carrabba's Chicken Parmigiana

I ordered chicken parmigiana with a side order of rigatoni pasta. The proportion was generous, the chicken tender enough, the cheese plenty, but the sauce, well, again, it was adequate. Nothing outstanding about the meal including the price. What you see is about $23 dollars before tip.

The Grassy Knoll Diner scores 2.5 out of 5 shots and barely recommends Carrabba's Italian Restaurant for dinner.

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Lost Update - I Am A Believer

Lost Update - Season V - 01/22/2009

I'm A Believer
Then I saw her face,
Now I'm a believer,
Not a trace of doubt in my mind.
I'm in love, I'm a believer!
I couldn't leave her if I tried.

Season five of LOST opened with a close up of an alarm clock showing the time at 8:14, which of course is two of the famous and mysterious LOST numbers. The next instant, it flipped to 8:15 and season five was in full stride. No close up eyeball this time.

The sky flashed, a bright white light, disorientation, and Oceanic's crashed plane is no longer on the beach. The entire camp is gone. Daniel Faraday, resident egghead, states that the island is dislodged in time. Does this sound familiar? Of course it does. It smacks right into my theory.

Just what is my theory….. I told you in the past, and also the future. Now it's time for the present.

Although it appears the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 are on a tropical island, they are being deceived. There is no island. The survivors are in a virtual reality laboratory. All the castaways are interconnected to one another sharing each others thoughts, memories, and feelings. While in this virtual reality laboratory, a battery of physical and mental experiments are performed on them. And who is running these experiments? As Juliet stated, the Aliens of course.

In the Lost pilot, Jack muttered, "How did we get here." He also said it last night when talking to Ben as they were taking Locke out of the funeral home. What is the significance of this. Plenty Lost fans. Plenty.

I was watching my son play Xbox 360 the other night. The game he was playing was Left 4 Dead. After he played for awhile, going from level to level, his power energy went low and he lost the game. I then noticed he simply reset the game, changed the parameters of the game, from easy to medium to hard and also changed the characters in the game. Patrick (My son) had to start from scratch. He had to retrieve new guns, new medicines, and supplies and start from the beginning.

That is exactly what happened on Lost last night. The virtual reality experiment was reset. The parameters of the experiment were reset. The characters were reset. Ready to begin anew. The camp and all the possessions were gone. The supplies were gone. The guns were gone. Even new characters were introduced. Now, everyone gets another chance to play the game. To get it right this time.

I noticed last night that the parameters of the show have changed. Personalities have changed. Wouldn't it be a kick if when they all reunited on the island that each persons role changed.

As in Jack, instead of the doctor and a take charge hero in season one, is now Charlie, the drug addict. Remember what Ben told Jack when he left the hotel room. He told Jack to pack a suitcase and fill it with everything he needs and can't live without because he will not be coming back. What do you want to bet he packs a suitcase full of his pills. Just like Charlie.

Or Sawyer, the grifter and con man now turns into the hero and leader. At the beginning, Sawyer was out for himself. He horded the guns, food, medicine. In season five, he takes charge of the castaways after the flash of light, (Reset) and has become the new leader. And tell me if I'm wrong here, but Sawyer and Juliet have a heavy vibe going on.

Or, Sun the battered wife fleeing her husband to start a new life will become the strong independent on the island, possibly even a murderer, taking the role played by Kate.

Speaking of Kate. She becomes the docile type. Protector of her child.

And the kicker. Ben Linus, the feared (Other) the mean bastard out to kill all the castaways before, now turns into the good guy.

What about Locke? John Locke has two paths. A wild card for sure. He either stays constant, much like Richard Alpert, or he assumes the role of Ben and slowly turns into a monster.

Continuing with the virtual reality reset theory. Perhaps all the virtual reality scenario's (Experiments) are running simultaneously and are intersecting with one another. Files corrupted, wires crossed. Hence, Richard coming to Locke in the past after he was shot and giving him what he needs. Or Ethan finding Locke. Or Desmond still in the hatch. Or the castaways seeing the hatch blown to smithereens and the next moment the hatch is still intact. Or the time flashing from daytime to nighttime and back again. When that happens, what do you do? That's right! Reset the game.

Season five has reset the game for the Lost survivors. In this new virtual reality experiment, (Game) lets see who becomes the alpha, the good, the evil, the love interests, and the challenges.

Tidbits to watch unfold in season five.

We learn a little about the old fashioned movies found in the Dharma stations. Dr. Marvin Kandell (Candle) lives on the island. The reason he is there. To harness an unlimited energy source that can manipulate time.

Sayid warns Hurley, "Whatever Ben says for you to do, do the opposite. Ben always lies. Now thats a constant.

Ana Lucia, kicked off the show a season ago for being arrested for DUI, interacts with Hurley. She is dressed as a cop and gives Hurley some good advice. "Stay away from the police and don't get arrested." That was a great pun.

Daniel Faraday tells Sawyer that no matter how hard they try, they cannot change the events of the past or future. And then what does he do, he changes events by contacting Desmond.

Soldiers capture sawyer and Juliet. His name tag says Jones. He asks Sawyer and Kate, "What are you doing on our island."

I must say whoever believes that my theory is far fetched, replay what Hurley told his mother last night. (The plane crashed, we survived. Then a smoke monster attacked us. And a polar bear. And dead people walking around. And then the others tried to kill us. But we killed them, and then joined up with them to fight some others. And then the chopper landed and tried to fly us to the freighter that found us, but the freighter blew up and we returned to the island, but the island disappeared and Sayid killed a lot of people for Ben, and now we have to go back.) Virtual reality doesn't sound to far fetched now does it?

BTW, Libby Says hello.

Until next week, Get Lost!

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Thought Screen Helmet Companion

Pam Andersons Obama Inaugural Ball Date

Thought Screen Helmet Companions. Just in time for president elect Barack Obama's inauguration.

Don't let evil aliens that are controlling your thoughts put a damper on your inauguration plans. The rocket scientists at the secret Grassy Knoll Institute laboratory have created the thought screen helmet companion so you can attend the inauguration in style.

Pamela Anderson, iconic sex goddess swears by her thought screen helmet buddy. It allows her to go helmet free and attend Hollywood events and the Barack Obama inauguration and all the balls afterward. (And of course, no animals were harmed in the production of the thought screen helmet companion.)

But how does it work?
Good question. The thought screen helmet companion is stuffed with advanced technology to eliminate alien abduction. The companion works so well that not a single person using the companion has been abducted. 100% effective. Now that is a testimonial.

The companion is a full bodied mannequin lined with velostat, a magical material that blocks alien telepathic signals to the potential abductee. The companion senses the telepathic signal and intercepts and filters them before they reach its target. The companion comes in two styles, male or female and can be accessorized for any event. Mission accomplished.

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Lost Update - Two Tickets To Paraidse

lost Update - Season V - 01/18/2009

Got a surprise especially for you,
Something that both of us have always wanted to do.
We've waited so long, waited so long.
We've waited so long, waited so long.

I'm gonna take you on a trip so far from here,
I've got two tickets in my pocket, now baby, we're gonna disappear.
We've waited so long, waited so long.
We've waited so long, waited so long.

We have all waited a long time for season 5 of ABC Lost, the ABC TV Sci-Fi series. On Wednesday, the wait will be over when we'll find out if Ben really has a time machine, or if John Locke is dead, or if the Oceanic Six gets back to the island. And more importantly, how my Lost theory ties into season five and beyond.

Just what is my theory….. I’ll tell you in a Lost island minute.
Although it appears the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 are on a tropical island, they are being deceived. There is no island. The survivors are in a virtual reality laboratory. All the castaways are interconnected to one another sharing each others thoughts, memories, and feelings. While in this virtual reality laboratory, a battery of physical and mental experiments are performed on them. And who is behind all this other than the mysterious government men? Aliens of course.

From the pilot episode of season one, I formulated two theories on what was happening on Lost. One is the virtual reality theory. The second is The Rod Serling Effect. This theory concentrates primarily on the Twilight Zone, a Sci-Fi TV series created by Rod Serling that aired 1959-1963 and other assorted works he wrote, produced, and directed. You can read this theory ark here.

I also want to take this time to explain another Grassy Knoll Institute anomaly that many readers have asked me about. Why my Lost update titles do not match with the official titles of the series. There are several reasons for that.

One reason is the tie in of the song and lyrics to that specific episode and how it relates to my theory. For example, tonight's title, Two Tickets To Paradise. Of course, Lost is filmed in Hawaii, or paradise, but more than that, many Lost inhabitants believe the island is paradise. Also, the third line, "We waited so long," as in the last new episode aired in May of 2008. That is a long time. Add in the theme that there's a plane ride, to some place far away and that they are going to disappear, and you have the elements of the series and tonight's update.

Below is the Season IV LOST DVD insert, the Oceanic "For Your Safety" guide. Check it out, it is pretty entertaining and be sure to check for the clues embedded.

Until Wednesday, Get Lost!

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Crocs - Ugly Ass Shoes

Crocs Invasion Continues

Patty and I were in Gatlinburg, Tennessee a few months ago. We were walking along the Parkway enjoying the weather and the scenery when we happened upon this store front window. There in the showcase was a variety of multicolored Crocs, A/K/A the ugliest ass shoes ever made.

Now I'm not hating, I just cannot understand the appeal of these shoes. Unless you worked in the circus and wore a bright colored red wig with a red bulb nose and painted your face and known by the carnival name Bozo, then you have no business wearing Crocs. Seriously, where the hell else are you going to wear rounded orange plastic shoes with holes in them with no back to them?

P.T. Barnum was right when he said there's a sucker born every minute.

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Almost Famous Logo

Almost As Famous As Haight Ashbury... Almost.

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Thought Screen Helmet Inauguration Fittings

Inaugural Ball Style

As was expected, the Grassy Knoll Institutes scientific studies conclude that alien telepathic activity spikes during presidential inaugurations. With president-elect Barack Obama being sworn in January 20th, every precaution is being taken to avoid any national security issues.

Washington Thought Screen Helmet makers have geared up production and are cranking out tailor made helmets to those attending the presidential inauguration and ball. Hurry though, supplies are limited and you don't want to be the only one not wearing your thought screen helmet.

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Eva Mendes - Sci Fi Sexy Siren

Eva Mendez  Sexy Siren In Ghost Rider

Eva Mendes - Smokin Hot Sci-Fi Sexy Siren

Seriously, I never realized how many movies Eva Mendes has been in. Of course, she stars in the just released movie, "The Spirit," a sort of Sin City sequel. That alone makes Eva eligible to be the first Sci-Fi Sexy Siren for the new year, but she has starred in plenty more horror and science fiction movies.

*Eva also played the love interest of motorcyclist Johnny Blaze in Ghost Rider, who sold his soul to become the best rider in the world.
*She was also in Urban Legend, a horror flick where the local college folks get murdered.
*She played Hanna in Mortal Kombat: Conquest, a science fiction thriller.
*And Eva Mendes was in Children Of The Corn V, Fields Of Terror.

Sci-Fi Sexy Sirens brought to you by the Grassy Knoll Institute marketing team to boost readership and placement on search engines.

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Stephen Kings Favorite Fish

Stephen King's Favorite Fish

Photo taken at the Gatlinburg, Tennessee Ripley's Smoky Aquarium while visiting back in September of 2008.

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