Showing posts with label St. Patricks day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label St. Patricks day. Show all posts

3/17/2014

How The Irish Play Golf

How The Irish Play Golf
How The Irish Play Golf
It is a well known fact that the Scot's invented the modern version of golf but it is the Irish version with it's unique flair of the game that we love to play so much.

Most people playing golf enjoy the relaxation of the sport, being one with nature, walking on a vast sprawling landscape of neatly manicured grass. To compete with not only your opponent, but yourself. Hitting that perfect drive. Sinking that long putt,

How very Zen like....

Sexy Irish Golf Caddy
Forty Four D...
For the Irish folk like myself, all we want is for our caddy to have a nice ass and a great rack and the rest of the golf experience, well, we don't give a shit about the score, the drive, the putt, the grass, the nature.

No mulligans for you.




LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Best End Of The Rainbow Ever

Best End Of The Rainbow Ever
Best End Of The Rainbow Ever
Some believe that a Leprechauns pot of gold is at the end of the rainbow. Some believe you are granted one wish. Others believe eternal life awaits and some people believe there is nothing at the end. Whatever you believe, this is the best end of the rainbow scenario.

Ever....




LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/15/2014

Irish Flu Shots

Irish Flu Shots
Irish Flu Shots
Here in the United States, we Americans have what they call Obama-Care health insurance. For those that have to endure this pitiful insurance, it sucks. My sympathies to all enrolled.

On the other side of the pond, Ireland handles healthcare with a more hands on approach. One example is the flu shot. We wait in a long line, get uncerimoniously jabbed in the arm while listening to nurse Ratchet yelling out "Next" while the needle is still in your arm.

In Ireland, the flu shot is available at your local Pub for a small fee of $1.49 with a chaser of Guinness.

Luck of the Irish indeed.



LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/11/2014

When Irish Eyes Are Smiling

When Irish Eyes Are Smiling Meaning
When Irish Eyes Are Smiling
When Irish Eyes Are Smiling, sure 'tis like a morn in spring.
In the lilt of Irish laughter, you can hear the angels sing.
When Irish hearts are happy, all the world seems bright and gay,
And When Irish Eyes Are Smiling, sure, they steal your heart away.

When Irish Eyes Are Smiling was penned by Chauncey Olcott and George Graff, Jr. and the Music was composed by Ernest Ball in 1912. The same year the Titanic maid its fatefull maiden voyage.

Although the song was written and composed by American citizens, (All three men were born in the United States) this song was a tribute to Ireland and its people.

When Irish Eyes Are Smiling is one of the most popular songs ever written today. It has been heard in many Irish movies and is the anthem for St. patricks Day coming up March 17th.

My advice, come march 17th, wow your friends and learn more than one verse of the song.




LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/07/2014

An Irish Fist Fight

Paddy O'Brien walks into a his favorite pub looking like he'd just been in a mighty brawl.
Paddys arm is in a sling. His nose is broken.
His face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.
The bartender Shamus pours Paddy a Guinness and asks Paddy, "What the devil happened to you?"
Paddy exclaims, "Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight."
Shamus is stunned telling Paddy, "That wee little of a man, O'Conner!" "He could not have done that to you. He must have had something in his hand."
Paddy looked up from his Guinness and says, "That he did." A shovel is what he had, and a terrible beating he gave me with it."
The bartender asked, "Well," did you not defended yourself then? Did you not have something in your hand?"
Paddy sais, "That I did Shamus. That I did!" I had Mrs. O'Conner's breast in me hand, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."




LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/06/2014

Zombie Fortress In Ireland

Irelands Zombie Fortress
Irelands Zombie Fortress
Downpatrick Head, County Mayo, a very popular sight seeing site. It is the location of an ancient church founded by St. Patrick himself. Legend has it that a chieftan refused to convert to Christiananity and St. Patrick struck the ground and the sea-stack you see in the picture formed. The chieftan was stranded on the sea-stack.

When the Zombie apocalypse occurs, (And it certainly will) this particular real estate is the perfect Zombie fortress. The sea-stack once supported life as an expedition found remnants of a hut, tools, and walls. Some simple supplies to stock the stack beforehand will allow your team to live Zombie free for a long time. When supplies do run out, using pulley ropes to lower yourself down to sea level, you can return to the mainland to reload supplies.

Even if your fortress is found out by zombies or humans, the sea-stack is easily defended. Zombies cannot climb and any people wanting to loot your possessions will find it impossible to gain access.

I'm forulating my survival supply list now.
1- Guinness beer.
2- Soda bread.
3- Irish stew.
4- Irish whiskey.
5- More Guinness beer.



LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/05/2014

How To Properly Wear Your Irish Green Bikini



With St. Patricks day just a few days away, many women are writing in to the Grassy Knoll Institute for advice on how to properly wear an Irish green bikini. We kindly obliged.

The video above featuring Caitlin O'Connor wearing a Beach Bunny bikini is all the advice and help you will need.




LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/04/2014

Irish Mental Hospital

As we all know, Ireland has very good medical care including facilities for the mentally challenged.
Just the other day I found myself in the fine city of Dublin walking through the quaint streets and avenues. I came across a mental institution. As I continued to walk past the facility I noticed that many patients were out on the lawn enjoying the mild weather.

All of a sudden I heard the patients start to shout the number 13 over and over again. 13...13...13... Intrigued and being a bit of a busy body I stopped to investigate. However the picket fence surrounding the facility was to high for me to see over. Looking at the fence I spied a small gap in the wood allowing me to bend down and peer through.

Just as soon as I had myself positioned to see, I was poked in the eye with a stick from the other side of the fence. As I was getting up off the ground I heard them all yelling 14... 14... 14...

Luckily there was a eye care center next door. It was doing a brisk business. I took a number, it was 13.




LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL


LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/03/2014

Sexy Irish Green Bikini Contest 2014

...Adrianna Lima sexy irish green bikini...Alessandro Ambrosia wearing sexy irish green bikini...Bar Refaeli wearing sexy irish green bikini...Candice Swanepol wearing sexy irish green bikini...Kate Upton Candice wearing sexy irish green bikini...Miranda Kerr wearing sexy irish green bikini

As rock legend singer Rod Stewart penned,
"I sure do want you to know that you wear it well,
There ain't a lady in the land so fine."

Your mission today, in the cold early month of March is to vote for the supermodel above who wears their sexy Irish green bikini the best. The contest is simple. Gaze upon the six beautiful women above and click on your favorite. Each photo you click on will count as one vote and each comment you leave will count as two votes. The winner will be revealed March 17th, St. Patricks Day.

Write ins are permitted. Simply name the sexy model and add the link of her wearing her sexy green bikini in the comments section. 

If you do not know the six supermodels above they are in order:
 #1- Adrianna Lima, #2 - Alessandro Ambrosia, #3 - Bar Refaeli,
#4 - Candice Swanepol, #5 - Kate Upton, #6 - Miranda Kerr




LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/02/2014

Irish Leprechaun Legend

Legend Of The Leprechaun
Legend Of The Leprechaun
Legend has it that if you are so lucky to spy a Leprechaun and demand his pot of gold, you must remember one thing. Do not take your eyes off the Leprechaun. Not even for a second. Do not even blink. For if you do, the Leprechaun will vanish and you will be not be having the best of days going forward.

You see, Leprechauns are Imps and they do not wish to be bothered by folks poking around their business. A failed attempt to remove the pot of gold from a Leprechaun could cause harmful results. You see, once the leprechaun is out of your sight just for a split second, the power you have over him is revoked. At that time, the leprechaun may reciprocate and trick you into doing harm to yourself.



LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/01/2014

Top Of The Morning To You

Lucky Irish Four Leaf Clover
Lucky Irish Four Leaf Clover
To kick off the St. Patrick's Day festivities, the Grassy Knoll Institute presents a genuine lucky Irish four leaf clover. 

As usual, the Grassy Knoll Institute will reveal sexy red-headed Irish women, sexy green bikini's, some Irish humor, (Humour) Irish myths, Irish folklore, and Irish food in the days leading up to the feast of St. Patrick.

By the time you wake up at 5am on St. Patrick's day to partake in the ritual of consuming green eggs, green ham, and plenty of green beer, you will be stocked with all the Irish heritage knowledge you will need to get you through the day. 





LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/17/2013

Even The Queen Is Irish On St. Patricks Day

Queen Of England Is Irish
Queen Of England Is Irish
The Queen of England stepped out to celebrate St. Patrick's Day with a ceremonial appearance at Buckingham Palace wearing an Irish green dress designed by Irish clothing designers.




LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/16/2013

A Perfect Irish Rainbow

A Perfect Irish Rainbow
A Perfect Irish Rainbow
It's midnight and the St. Patrick's Day festivities are beginning already. As dawn approaches, millions will have already consumed gallons of green beer, green eggs, green ham, and even green pancakes, not to mention corned beef sandwiches.

The Grassy Knoll Institute asks during your celebration to take a few minutes after the first light to search the sky for that perfect Irish rainbow and perhaps you will find the pot of gold left hiding by the Leprechauns.




LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/14/2013

Irish Car Wash

Irish Car Wash Made A Million Dollars In One Day
Irish Car Wash Made A Million Dollars In One Day
In an attempt to offset the rising cost of corned beef, Irish pubs and diners have sought other avenue's of revenue. The Temple Pub instituted an auto wash by its female waitresses dressed in their work uniforms.

Lines have formed around the block.




LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/12/2013

Zombie Outbreak In Ireland

Ireland Infested With The Walking Dead
Ireland Infested With The Walking Dead
In the event of a zombie apocalypse, not even the Emerald Isle, Ireland, would be spared the horror of the flesh-eating walking dead.



LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/11/2013

An Irish Wedding Blessing

An old Irish wedding tradition can sometimes get dangerous. At the reception, the Father of the bride gathers the attention to give his blessing to the bride and groom and all in attendance.
The blessing goes something like this...

Would all the married men,
Please now go and stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.
At this time, the bartender almost gets crushed to death.




LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/08/2013

Irish Cardio Workout Sweeping The Nation

I Dare You To Look Away
Fitness News Update:
Dublin, Ireland, a new male fitness craze is sweeping the nation. No, it is not palates, or spinning, nor aerobics, but a much simpler exercise. Men come to the exercise studio, pay a small fee, and step onto a treadmill. In just a few seconds, a large curtain opens and the viewer is exposed to the scene above.

On the average, Men stay on the treadmill 2700% longer than normal increasing their cardio workout thus lending to weight loss and better heart and health condition.




LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/07/2013

Hostess Mint Green Sno Balls

Retro Hostess Irisih Green Sno Balls
Retro Hostess Irisih Green Sno Balls
Sadly, with Hostess corporation going bankrupt, nevermore will we be treated during the St. Patrick's Day holiday with the tasty and fluffy mint green Hostess Sno-Balls.

PS: I found this package of Sno-Balls in the far back corner of the pantry. They look pretty damn good. I'm not eating them mind you, but it must be true that Hostess has a half life of 25000 years.





LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/06/2013

Paddy Walks Into A Pub

A little Irish humor:
Paddy walks into the local pub with a gun and yells out, "Now who be havin sex with me wife?" The pub gets quiet and all heads turn toward Paddy holding the six shooter. In the background of the very crowded pub a voice is heard saying, "You not be havin enough bullets in that gun Paddy!"



LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/04/2013

Shopping For The Perfect St. Patrick's Day Outfit

Wearing of The Green
It's never to early to start looking for just the right outfit to wear for your St. Patrick's Day party or get together. The woman above seems to have perfected her method of choosing. Look closely, she is wearing green in one of those outfits.

Take your time....




LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL