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| Irish Car Wash Made A Million Dollars In One Day |
Lines have formed around the block.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Showing posts with label STP. Show all posts
Showing posts with label STP. Show all posts
3/14/2013
Irish Car Wash
Lines have formed around the block.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/12/2013
Zombie Outbreak In Ireland
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| Ireland Infested With The Walking Dead |
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/11/2013
An Irish Wedding Blessing
An old Irish wedding tradition can sometimes get dangerous. At the reception, the Father of the bride gathers the attention to give his blessing to the bride and groom and all in attendance.
The blessing goes something like this...
Would all the married men,
Please now go and stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.
At this time, the bartender almost gets crushed to death.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
The blessing goes something like this...
Would all the married men,
Please now go and stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.
At this time, the bartender almost gets crushed to death.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/08/2013
Irish Cardio Workout Sweeping The Nation
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| I Dare You To Look Away |
Dublin, Ireland, a new male fitness craze is sweeping the nation. No, it is not palates, or spinning, nor aerobics, but a much simpler exercise. Men come to the exercise studio, pay a small fee, and step onto a treadmill. In just a few seconds, a large curtain opens and the viewer is exposed to the scene above.
On the average, Men stay on the treadmill 2700% longer than normal increasing their cardio workout thus lending to weight loss and better heart and health condition.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/07/2013
Hostess Mint Green Sno Balls
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| Retro Hostess Irisih Green Sno Balls |
PS: I found this package of Sno-Balls in the far back corner of the pantry. They look pretty damn good. I'm not eating them mind you, but it must be true that Hostess has a half life of 25000 years.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/06/2013
Paddy Walks Into A Pub
A little Irish humor:
Paddy walks into the local pub with a gun and yells out, "Now who be havin sex with me wife?" The pub gets quiet and all heads turn toward Paddy holding the six shooter. In the background of the very crowded pub a voice is heard saying, "You not be havin enough bullets in that gun Paddy!"
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Paddy walks into the local pub with a gun and yells out, "Now who be havin sex with me wife?" The pub gets quiet and all heads turn toward Paddy holding the six shooter. In the background of the very crowded pub a voice is heard saying, "You not be havin enough bullets in that gun Paddy!"
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/04/2013
Shopping For The Perfect St. Patrick's Day Outfit
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| Wearing of The Green |
Take your time....
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/03/2013
Dark In Here It Is
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| Irish Furniture |
The little boy says, dark in here. The man says, yes it is.
Boy: I have a baseball.
Man: That's nice.
Boy: Want to buy it?
Man: No thank you.
Boy: My dads outside!
Man: OK, how much?
Boy: $250
In the next few weeks the same thing happens again and the boy and the lover wind up in the closet again.
Boy: Dark in here.
Man: Yes it is.
Boy: I have a baseball glove.
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, how much?
Boy: $750
Man: Sold!
A few days later the father says to the boy, grab your glove and ball, lets go outside and have a game of catch. The boy says I cannnot. I sold my baseball and glove. For how much the dad asked.
Boy: $1000 for both.
Dad: That is way to much to charge your friends. For that, I'm taking you to church so father Flanagan can hear your confession.
Both go to church and the dad escorts the boy to the confessional booth, opens the door, tells the boy to walk in, kneel down and wait for the priest. The dad closes the door and sits in the pew a few feet away.
In a few seconds, father Flanagan slides the small window open and waits for the boy to begin his confession.
Boy: Dark in here.....
Father Flanagan: Don't you be starting any shenanigans in here. You are in my closet now.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/02/2013
Irish True Story
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| Scene From An Irish Cafe |
Happy St. Patrick's Day
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/01/2013
Breakfast On St. Patricks Day
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| Green Pancakes For St. Patricks Day |
As usual, the Grassy Knoll Institute will reveal plenty of sexy red-headed women, sexy green bikini's, some Irish humor, (Humour) Irish myths, Irish folklore, and Irish food.
By the time you wake up at 5am on St. Patrick's day to partake in the ritual of consuming green eggs, green ham, and plenty of green beer, you will be stocked with all the Irish heritage knowledge to get you through the day.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/17/2012
Happy St. Patricks Day 2012
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| Sexy Irish Bartender |
The Grassy Knoll Institute wishes everyone a safe and fun filled St. Patrick's Day and hopes all your barmaids look like Shannon tonight.
Please use your designated driver when returning home or travelling from pub to pub.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
How To Properly Drink A Guinness Beer
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| How To properly Drink Guinness |
Do not, I repeat, do not grab the glass and sip the Guinness. If you do, you will hear moans from the well respected Irish folk drinking in the pub with you.
1) Instead, take a moment or two and inspect and appreciate the beauty of the Guinness beer in front of you with your eyes. Bask in the splendor of the gift from Heaven waiting for you.
2) After the respectful moment or two of waiting, rise to your feet from your chair or stool. Grip the glass with authority and keep your elbows up and the Guinness at eye level.
3) Tilt the glass to your mouth and embrace the nectar of the Gods taking a full gulp. Do not sip Guinness. Do not let the patrons see you sip lest you want to hear another round of moans directed towards you.
4) Gently place the glass down and prepare for your next taste. Make sure to drink from the same side of the glass so like you can count the rings on a tree trunk, you can count how many gulps it took to drink your pink of Guinness.
5) Repeat steps 3 and 4 until your glass is empty.
6) When finished, keep in mind, you are in Ireland, not in the states, and the bartender is not expecting a tip. However, if this was your first Guinness beer in an Irish Pub, or if your bartender performed above and beyond his normal excellent service, a tip of 10-15 percent would be acceptable. More importantly, thank the bartender and acknowledge the patrons inside the bar as you may not know it, but each and everyone of them were guiding you along in your journey to the perfect pint.
A proper toast to all in the pub could be....
My friends are the best friends.
Loyal, willing and able.
Now let’s get to drinking!
All glasses off the table!
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Everyone Is Irish On St. Patricks Day
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| Irish Storm Troopers |
These aren't the Leprechauns you were looking for.
Move along, these aren't the Leprechauns we were looking for.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/16/2012
Rainbows End Guinness
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| Treausre At The End Of An Irish Rainbow |
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Leprechaun Mating Ritual
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| Leprechaun Mating Rituals Revealed |
All Leprechauns are males. There are no female Leprechauns.
Certainly doesn't make for a happy little cobbler.
Logically, one has to ask how Leprechauns procreate:
Once a year, a Leprechaun sets out on a sojourn that takes him into the desert of Las Vegas, Nevada. He then uses his gold coins from his pot of gold to seduce young beautiful women enticing them to remove clothing by throwing said coins at her.
Afterward, he slyly invites the smitten woman back to a private room with comfortable chairs. As the Leprechaun sits back in his chair, the smitten girl performs a mating ritual dance for him that brings a happy ending for all.
To increase the Leprechauns odds of procreating, he sometimes adds another female (Usually having to pay double for that type of action)
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Worst St. Patricks Day Float
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| Worst St. Patricks Day Float Ever |
And then you see it, creeping along from the rear slowly coming into focus. The worst St. Patrick's Day float.
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/15/2012
Leprechaun Down On His Luck
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| Leprechaun Down On His Luck |
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/13/2012
Getting Pinched On St. Patrick's Day
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| Getting Pinched On St. Patricks Day |
There you have it, the reason for Wearin O The Green.
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/12/2012
A Little Irish Humor
Paddy died in a fire and was burnt pretty terribly and the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Mick and Seamus were called upon.
Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Seamus said "Yup, he’s burnt pretty terrible. Roll him over." Following orders the mortician rolled Paddy over and Seamus looked at the body and said "Nope, tis ain’t Paddy."
The mortician thought it all rather odd what Seamus had done when Mick walked in to identify the body. Mick took one look at the body on the morgue slab and said, "Yup, he’s burnt real terrible like, roll him over."
The mortician did as Mick commanded and rolled him over and Mick looked down and said, "No, it ain’t Paddy."
Baffled, the mortician questioned Mick, "How can you tell by looking at his backside?" Mick said, "Well, Paddy had two assholes."
"What, he had two assholes" said the mortician.
Mick declared, "Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went into town, people would say, "Here’s Paddy with them two assholes."
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Seamus said "Yup, he’s burnt pretty terrible. Roll him over." Following orders the mortician rolled Paddy over and Seamus looked at the body and said "Nope, tis ain’t Paddy."
The mortician thought it all rather odd what Seamus had done when Mick walked in to identify the body. Mick took one look at the body on the morgue slab and said, "Yup, he’s burnt real terrible like, roll him over."
The mortician did as Mick commanded and rolled him over and Mick looked down and said, "No, it ain’t Paddy."
Baffled, the mortician questioned Mick, "How can you tell by looking at his backside?" Mick said, "Well, Paddy had two assholes."
"What, he had two assholes" said the mortician.
Mick declared, "Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went into town, people would say, "Here’s Paddy with them two assholes."
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/10/2012
Irish Humor - Jesus Is My Brother-In-Law
Paddy got in an automobile accident and was taken to a Catholic hospital in Dublin.
After the doctor stitched Paddy up and stabilized his condition, the doctor let Paddy to rest.
A few minutes later a Catholic nun entered the room and asked if paddy were well enough to answer some questions for her. Paddy nodded affirmative.
The nun started right asking, "Do you have any medical insurance?"
Paddy shook his head and said no.
The nun continued, "Do you have any cash money to help pay for your medical bill?"
Paddy again said no.
The nun pried even more, "Do you have any family members to help you settle up your medical bill?
Paddy scratched his chin for a moment and said, 'Why yes, I do have a spinster older sister and she's a Catholic nun just like you."
The nun looked sternly at Paddy and said, "Sir, we are not spinsters, I like your sister, are married to Jesus.'
Paddy looks at the nun and says, "Good then, send me medical bill to me Brother-In-Law!"
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
After the doctor stitched Paddy up and stabilized his condition, the doctor let Paddy to rest.
A few minutes later a Catholic nun entered the room and asked if paddy were well enough to answer some questions for her. Paddy nodded affirmative.
The nun started right asking, "Do you have any medical insurance?"
Paddy shook his head and said no.
The nun continued, "Do you have any cash money to help pay for your medical bill?"
Paddy again said no.
The nun pried even more, "Do you have any family members to help you settle up your medical bill?
Paddy scratched his chin for a moment and said, 'Why yes, I do have a spinster older sister and she's a Catholic nun just like you."
The nun looked sternly at Paddy and said, "Sir, we are not spinsters, I like your sister, are married to Jesus.'
Paddy looks at the nun and says, "Good then, send me medical bill to me Brother-In-Law!"
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
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