Showing posts with label Conspiracy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Conspiracy. Show all posts

2/20/2008

New And Improved Thought Screen Helmet

Not feeling feminine fresh? Now you can everyday with the new and improved Thought Screen Helmet (Developed by the rocket scientists at the Grassy Knoll Institute) made just for women. Look, it has wings and it makes toast as an added bonus. The ultimate multi-task accessory for the on-the-go business women.

WARNING:
Women are not immuned from the threat of alien abduction as some people in the scientific community had believed. Wearing the TSH to board room meetings will assuredly get you noticed. In fact, you and your thought screen helmet will be the topic of conversation no matter where you go.
And who doesn't want that type of recognition.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

2/08/2008

Proof Of Second Shooter On The Grassy Knoll

Irrefutable Proof Of A Second Shooter
A signed confession on a U.S. dollar bill printed in the year 2000 is positive proof that Oswald did not act alone.
If it were Oswald who signed the dollar then the bill would have had to be dated 1963 or before. This one is clearly marked 2000 making it impossible for him to have signed it.
Therefore, the only logical conclusion is that a second assassin was lurking on the grassy knoll that fateful day in November 1963 and took aim at John Kennedy as he was riding in the motorcade and completed the assassination of our 35th president.
The Grassy Knoll Institute rocket scientists can only speculate as to why the assassin came forward after 40 plus years of silence to confess assuming that perhaps this man (FBI handwriting experts have already determined that a man wrote this confession) is dying and wished to clear his conscious before he passed away.




LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

24 Responses to “Kennedy Assassination Second Shooter Proof”


  1. Othepjavier said

    Maybe the guy’s just making fun. How are they so sure that the man who wrote that really shot JFK?

  2. Chica said

    I had a fiver the other day that led me to that Where’s George.com site, funny enough it was a 5 dollar bill, shoulda been wheresabe.com

  3. LOTGK said

    Otherjavier,
    Because the dollar bill says so.

  4. LOTGK said

    Yes Chica, very cool site. I happen to know that there are a few LOTGK dollars floating around in the economy.

  5. Steamed-Clams said

    I know who it was.
    A man gave me a dollar bill on Nov 22 of this year.
    Coincidence? I think not.
    Not only did he surreptitiously slip it into my change real casual-like, but he also asked;
    “Can I help you with anything else?”
    So the assumption that this criminal is dying and wants to unburden his soul is grossly erroneous.
    He wants another job.
    Seems to me we better keep Bush out of Texas for awhile.
    In fact, we should probably take him to a cave in Utah and hide him….far far away, for a long long time.
    We must make sure he survives.
    We must have proof for future generations that we did not invent him.
    Without him, no one will believe such a man ever existed.

  6. LOTGK said

    Forget about the cave in Utah. Romney has been hiding out there up until this year.

  7. Steamed-Clams said

    Yeah, But I hear Romney didn’t touch any of the complimentary booze, smokes and pretzels.
    Bush will be fine there.

  8. LOTGK said

    Mitt was too busy with his eleven wives. Or so I’m told….

  9. Chica said

    If I ever get one, I’m going to keep it forever! LOL

  10. Lori said

    the cave in Utah leads to hollow earth…which I am starting to believe that Elvis is living down there, along with Princess Diana, Marylin Monroe, Jim Morrison, Lee Harvey Oswald, Heath Ledger… and possibly the Kennedy brothers.
    Wouldnt that be a hoot?
    Im packing my bags, and taking a trip to Utah.
    I hear they dont age down there as fast.. I got only a few good years left if I stay here.. but I could stay young and good looking for a lot longer if I go there.
    And I am sick of spending my money on anti-wrinkle creams.
  11. [...] Grassy Knoll caseworkers are on their way to Dallas (let’s hope they know it’s in Texas…. News that a secret treasure trove of documents related to the Kennedy assassination was first [...]

  12. Anti-Christ said

    Wow, had a busy weekend with Jesus dying and all. But I’m back. I want to point out to you that the dollar bill doesn’t say “I” but “1″ as in one person shot JFK.
    Handwriting analysis on Oswald should prove that he wrote this on the dollar and that he acted alone in the murder of your Catholic president.
    Repent is to late. Kick back and enjoy life instead.

  13. LOTGK said

    Anti, problem with your theory, the bill is dated year 2000, 37 years after Oswald was murdered.
    Good catch though.

  14. Gentledove said

    It WAS George Washington wot did it.

  15. LOTGK said

    Psst…. Over here.
    Rumor has it that a rocket scientist working at the Grassy Knoll Institute penned the phrase on the note.

  16. Hamster said

    Totally fake. Whata farce.

    • LOTGK said

      What’s fake? What is a farce? It is a real dollar bill with a confession written on it. It offers more believable proof that the volumes published by the Warren Commission.

  17. Jim Porter said

    http://img33.picoodle.com/img/img33/3/11/15/f_osbanjom_22aa351.jpgThis picture was taken around 1230 pm on Nov.22 1963. Oswald was playing for a neighborhood hoot-n-nanny in his backyard during his lunch hour. Proof that he couln’t have been the shooter on the sixth floor of the TSBD.

  18. Jim Porter said

    what are you talking about?

1/28/2008

Missed It By That Much - TU24

Asteroid TU24 Missed By This Much
Asteroid TU24 Missed By This Much
Missed It By That Much

Asteroid TU24 safely flew by the earth this morning at 12:33 Eastern standard Time and did not impact as was predicted by our esteemed Grassy Knoll Institute rocket scientists. (The scientist in charge was given 40 lashes, and not the Max-Factor mascara type, and immediately fired)

Scientist 86 discovered his data was flawed after he failed to convert the telemetry data of the asteroid from U. S. standard measurements to metric. Thus, the error was the exact distance, 334,000 miles that asteroid TU24 missed the earth by.

The Curator of the Grassy Knoll Institute guarantee's that each and every conspiracy theory served up is worth at least 99 cents, if not more. Critical math errors are not tolerated here. Apparently more overtime is necessary for the rocket scientists here.

Would you believe.....

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1/27/2008

First Glimpse Of Asteroid TU24

First Glimpse Of Asteroid TU24 To Slam Into Earth
Asteroid TU24

As Monday rapidly approaches NASA has all their satellites trained on asteroid TU24 which is speeding towards earth on an direct impact course. The asteroid should hit the Southern hemisphere at 0500 GMT on Monday the 28th.

NASA through it's tracking satellites was able to capture this startling photograph of TU24 just as it swung around the moon heading towards earth.

God save us all.....
And for you atheists, you're up the creek without a paddle.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1/25/2008

Asteroid To Hit Earth 01/28/2008

It has been confirmed that an asteroid is on a collision course to impact Earth in the Southern hemisphere on Monday, January 28th at approximately 0500 GMT. This rogue (A large, destructive, and anomalous or unpredictable heavenly body operating outside normal or desirable controls) asteroid is the size of the Sears Building in Chicago and was just discovered by NASA as it entered our solar system when it changed course towards earth.

Up until Monday the 21st, NASA was tracking the asteroid (Named TU24) displaying it's trajectory course and danger level towards earth and the probability of an impact. Yesterday, all data relating to TU24, it's mass, size, trajectory course, time of impact, was deleted and erased from the website and in it's place was a sign stating that the asteroid had a zero percent chance of striking earth and the threat level was minimal at best. (On Monday, the odds were 50-50 chance and closing for an impact.)

The Grassy Knoll Institute understands how governments work in times of crisis especially when no solution is available such as an Armageddon sized asteroid that has the potential to end all life on the planet. The government institutes it's plausible deniabilty scenario preaching ignorance is bliss and seemingly everyone goes about their business. Except the heads of state.

Imagine if the government went public and broadcast to the world that an asteroid would impact the earth causing total devastation. The panic and chaos of the public would cause a complete breakdown of government as hysteria and looting would continue right up until impact. Hence, all information on asteroid TU24 has been deleted.

Starting this weekend, keep an eye on the movement of our public figures such as the president, vice president, key cabinet members and scientists from NASA. They will begin to disappear from the public eye as they quickly gather in underground bunkers to safely weather the impact.

It's the weekend, and the end of the world is coming on Monday. It's time to check your bucket list and get cracking.

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1/14/2008

Scientists Create Life With Cloning Technique

American scientists, (Dr. Frankenstein) from the Institute for Biological Energy Alternatives, have created an artificial virus that has the ability to reproduce itself. The scientists named the new living virus, Phi-X174 bacteriophage.

This is a first for the scientific community where a virus was created from the ground floor up. What's even more astonishing is that the virus began to replicate itself almost immediately after it was created. (Sounds like the premise for a cheap horror movie but its true)

Genome mapping experts praised the virus creation as a stepping stone to human life creation. From this, the next step is the growing and cultivating of living human tissue and organs for people needing a transplant. From there, in a few more years, cloning a complete human being. One more step after that, Frankensteins monster, the complete cloning and replication of the entire body, mind, and spirit into a new fresh healthy body.

Sound monstrous? you bet it is. That is why this achievement has been swept under the proverbial carpet. The virus was created in 2003, and has been kept under wraps for fear of what this virus could do if perhaps it mutated and got out of control of the scientists. Since it is a new virus, there would be no immunity from the public meaning that if the virus turned lethal, millions of people would perish until a vaccine was developed to stop the rampage. Vaccine development of a synthetic virus would take months if not years to complete.

Angry lynch mobs are now forming in a city near you. The Grassy Knoll Institute will supply the townsfolk with all the torches they need to storm the castle.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

12/27/2007

NFL Acquiesces To Fans

As reported in last weeks Grassy Knoll Institute Conspiracy, the NFL network was playing hard ball with cable operators forcing them to pony up to satisfy their customers for the upcoming prime game of the unbeaten 15-0 New England Patriots at the New York Giants this Saturday night.

As stated before, history and NFL records could be easily set in this game. Not only would New England be the first team in NFL history to go 16-0, quarterback Tom Brady can break the single season TD passes and total yards while Randy Moss needs two TD's to break Jerry Rice's long standing most tD's in a single season.

The NFL has succumbed to the pressure put upon them by the Grassy Knoll Institute, Sen. John Kerry, and other legislators to force the NFL to carry the game on local channels so all can enjoy.

Yesterday, Commissioner Roger Goodell stated in a press conference that the game will be shown on CBS, NBC, and the NFL Network, the first game to be three-network simulcast in 40 years, since the first Super Bowl in 1967. Goodell says it is in the best interest of the fans that the NFL is airing the game on three networks but just a few days ago, the NFL said they would not acquiesce and that the game would be broadcast only on the NFL Network.

The NFL is in the midst of a horrific public relations nightmare and only at this point decided to change their tune. Only the best interests of the fans in mind! Bullshit. The almighty dollar drives the NFL and they almost bullied the cable operators to pony up.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL


12/16/2007

New England Patriots Perfect Season

Saturday, December 29th, at 8pm EST, the New England Patriots face the New York Giants for the final regular game of the season. The Patriots, now at 14-0 will perhaps be going for a perfect season that final game while the Giants will be playing for a tight raced wild card spot. The NFL could not have dreamed of a better scenario than the match-up as all eyes will be tuning in to watch a little bit of sports history.

As if anything more was needed for the thrones of fans to tune in, several more records should be there for the taking during this game for quarterback Tom Brady and receiver Randy Moss.

Tom Brady, the Patriots quarterback, can easily shatter the record for most touchdowns in a single season during this game surpassing Peyton Manning and Dan Marino.

Randy Moss can break the receiving yards record for a single season and also break Jerry Rice's long standing record of most TD's in a single season.

The hype has already begun as the fabled 1972 Miami Dolphins, who went a perfect 17-0, are being compared to the present day Patriots on almost every NFL program. Millions of non football fans will tune in just to see what all the hub bub is all about making this one game one of the highest rated broadcasts rivaling even the super bowl games of past years.

But there's a problem. The game is slated to be televised on the NFL Network, a TV channel that only 1% of the American public receives. A game this big and no one will be able to see history possibly be written.

The NFL is standing firm stating that the game will not be switched to CBS, NBC, or FOX and will air on the NFL Network.

I will guarantee that millions of fans will be calling their local cable companies demanding that they allow the game to be shown in their area. But there's the rub.

DirecTV ponied up this year when the NFL negotiations were open and out bid the cable company giants.

This is where the conspiracy portion enters.

The NFL Network much like cable channel ESPNU have a very limited audience. About 1% of the nation has access to the NFL network football games. The cable companies balked at the cost the NFL wanted for them to air the Thursday and Saturday night special games starting Thanksgiving night every year. Hence, only DirecTV subscribers can tune in.

So what can the network do to bolster ratings? Do exactly what ESPNU did last year. Televise the top rated games on that channel knowing that it would cause an outcry from the fans and hopefully force the cable companies to pony up and televise the games. ESPNU aired the Ohio State Buckeyes while they were undefeated and ranked #1 in the country and other top ranked teams showed up on the U network when low profile games used to be only shown.

The NFL is forcing the same type of scenario. In two weeks, tens of millions of fans will be very upset not being able to view the game causing animosity and hard feelings toward their cable providers. Countless phone calls and emails will be fielded as to why the game is not available and they won't like the answer that it cost to much money to air these limited games.

The Patriots are poised to go a perfect 16-0 while Brady and Moss have obtainable NFL records as well in the final game. The NFL Network could not have asked for a better catalyst to force cable companies.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

12/12/2007

Santa Claus Conspiracy


santa claus conspiracy
Santa Claus Conspiracy
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house...

The Grassy Knoll Institute Santa Claus Conspiracy Theory has begun.

As a child, I often wondered how Santa Claus was able to tell if I was being naughty or nice, let alone millions of boys and girls.

Or how Santa had reindeer that could fly.

Or how Santa had enough time to visit every house in the world in one night.

Or how Santa fit down the chimney.

Or how Santa could fit all the toys in his one sled.

Well, the Grassy Knoll Institute finally reveals the Santa Mystery.

At the North Pole, Santa's home base and major toy manufacturing facility, are super computers with a huge database of every boy and girl in the world. His employees, also known as elves, work diligently updating their records on each child. Many phone calls to parents are necessary. Santa Claus then analyzes the data and then decides who is naughty and who is nice.

How do reindeer fly? Actually, it is not the reindeer that do the flying, but the sleigh that they pull. The sleigh is designed in such a manner that creates a wind tunnel vortex that sweeps up objects and propels them through the air. The sleighs rudders help control the direction and maneuverability and the reindeer simply guide the sleigh and keep it steady and on course.

The next problem was how does Santa have the time to visit all the boys and girls of the world all in one night? Some say the time lines of each region but there is a much simpler explanation. Santa Claus has the ability to bend time in the same manner as light bends when it comes in contact with water. When Santa begins his once a year journey on Christmas Eve, he enters the Santa space time continuum loop enabling him to virtually slow down time to a halt so an hour to him feels like a second to us. This way, he can carry out his travels and still have plenty of time.

On to the chimney, and what if some houses don't have chimneys? Santa is a contortionist. He is able to bend his body into many difficult and very limited spaces, such as a chimney. When a chimney isn't available, a crawl space or window does just fine.

The sled is only so big. So how does he fit all the toys in there? Since the North Pole is a toy manufacturing plant, they also have a very diverse distribution center. These centers are positioned all over the world and each package is bar coded and shipped to a specific warehouse. As Santa moves across the world, his employees, or elves, restock his sled as needed. That's why you see all those trucks delivering toys to the malls and stores in your area.

So there you have it. The Santa Conspiracy as told by the Grassy Knoll Institute.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

12/10/2007

Santa Clone Conspiracy


santa claus is a clone conspiracy
Santa Claus Is A Clone Conspiracy
The Grassy Knoll Institute in it's relentless pursuit of the truth, has discovered the true secret of the "Santa Claus Myth".For hundreds of years, many people wondered how Santa Claus was able to deliver presents and gifts to all the good boys and girls of the world in just one night.

The photo above is scientific evidence of a vast cloning farm that has been going on at the North Pole for many many years.

As the story goes, the original Santa gene was cloned to make thousands of the magical jolly old elves enabling them to spread out and canvass the entire globe on Christmas. So yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus. In fact, there are several thousand of them.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

12/07/2007

The Buoys - Timothy 1971


the buoys timothy cannibal song
The Buoys - Timothy - The Cannibal Song
God Why Don't I know

I played this song for about 50 people the past several days. I asked this simple question. What is this song about? Without the use of the Internet not one person knew. So, I pose the same challenge to you. Without the aid of Google to search the meaning, read the lyrics below and tell the Grassy Knoll Institute what the song is about. 

Sidenote: The following lyrics are the exact lyrics from the original single release. They have been altered and misunderstood many times over. Even the original recording was altered to change the meaning of the song along with the lyrics but the Institute has the original so there is no conspiracy going on here.


Timothy - Buoys - 1971

Trapped in a mine what had caved in
And everyone knows the only ones left
Was Joe and me and Tim

When they broke through to pull us free
The only ones left to tell the tale
Was Joe and me

Timothy, Timothy, where on earth did you go
Timothy, Timothy, God why don't I know

Hungry as hell, no food to eat
And Joe said that he would sell his soul
For just... a piece... of meat
Water enough to drink for two
And Joe said to me, I'll take a swig
And then... there's some... for you

Timothy, Timothy, Joe was looking at you
Timothy, Timothy, God what did we do

I must have blacked out just round then
Cause the very next thing that I could see
Was the light of the day again

My stomach was full as it could be
And nobody ever got around to finding... Timothy

Timothy, Timothy where on earth did you go
Timothy, Timothy god why don't I know

Timothyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Yeah
Timothy
Timothy



OK, before you read any further, add your answer in the comments section at the bottom of this page. OK, you can read on to find the meaning.

That's right kids! This song is about cannibalism. Trapped in a mine that caved in, three men survived. Two of the men apparently struck a deal to kill Timothy and eat him to survive. The Grassy Knoll Institute is not kidding. The song really is about cannibalism.

In 1971, Rupert Holmes, (Famous for his Pina Calada Song, Escape) formed a band in Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania. After a lengthy negotiation, Scepter Records caved in and allowed the band to record a single song. They were informed that the song would not be promoted and they were on their own with it.

Rupert and the band got together and decided to cut a record that would be so controversial that it would get banned. After all, if the record wasn't going to get promoted, they thought that perhaps if their song was banned, another record label would take notice and sign them to a real deal. And so Timothy was conceived and written.

The song got limited play time but soon the kids would call the radio stations and request the song to be played again and again. The station DJ finally listened to the record and realized the meaning of the lyrics and pulled the record from it's slotted airtime. But it was to late.

Timothy had become a hit and after several major radio stations began playing it, it quickly rose to a top 20 hit. The listeners were eating it up. (Pun intended) Unbelievable that a song about cannibalism had become so popular.

Today, parents are up in arms about suggestive lyrics in Britney Spears, Pink, and Beyonce songs plus the sometimes violent storytelling of some rap artists. To put this in perspective, not one of these artists songs tells the tale of three men trapped in a mine where two of them plot against the weaker, kill him, and eat him to survive celebrating cannibalism.

I'm hungry, who wants pizza?!




LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

12/04/2007

Richard Nixon And John Kennedy Meet

The Assassination Begins


Congressman John Kennedy and his wife Jacqueline greet vice-president Richard Nixon. The trio are at Midway Airport in Chicago.
#8 in a series of 77 John F. Kennedy cards.

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

4 Responses to “John F. Kennedy Collector Cards #08”


  1. Cindy said

    Are these cards worth anything?

  2. LOTGK said

    Cindy, do a Google search, JFK collector cards. I would think they are worth something, not a fortune or anything, but something.
  3. i HAVE JFK COLLECTOR CARDS I WOUND LIKE TO KNOW HOW MUCH THEY ARE WORTH PLEASE REPLY BACK AT

12/01/2007

Body Armor Sharks

Sharks With Body Armor
Sharks With Body Armor
With their continuing assault on the human population, Super Alien Sharks have mutated and now have genetically altered steel plating and incredibly, they still remain buoyant and ferocious hunters and excellent swimmers.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL