Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts

12/25/2010

The True Meaning Of Christmas

a-perfect-christmas-tree
A Perfect Christmas Tree
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, Keeping watch over their flock by night.
And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
And the angel said unto them,
Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
That's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the Grassy Knoll Institute.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Responses to “The True Meaning Of Christmas”


  1. Sandra said

    December 26, 2010 at 11:50 pm e
    What a beautiful Christmas tree. Do you decorate it for Christmas?
    Reply

  2. Sandra said

    December 26, 2010 at 11:51 pm e
    Hey, I see next to my comment a pink monster with pointy teeth. Why do you have this?
    Reply

  3. Gumby said

    December 27, 2010 at 8:17 am e
    That is one fine tree, not like the artificial ones. Just how tall is your living room roof?
    Reply

  4. Qweqe said

    December 27, 2010 at 11:11 pm e
    maker part of body as clamp/button of clotches………….!!!!!!!!!!! more sexy………..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Reply

  5. Valdunagan said

    December 28, 2010 at 8:26 am e
    Merry christmas and happy new year Grassy one.
    Reply
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12/24/2010

Bumpuses Sons Of Bitches

sons-of-bitches-bumpuses
All He Could Muster Was Not A Finga
The only recourse the old man could do after the neighbors dogs burst in the left open kitchen door and devoured the entire Thanksgiving Day turkey was, "BUMPUSES, SONS OF BITCHES!"

 Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the Curator of the Grassy Knoll Institute. Please drive safely this holiday season.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Responses to “Bumpuses – Sons A Bitches”


  1. Gumby said

    December 27, 2010 at 8:16 am e
    Merry Christmas to you Pat. Glad you didn’t shoot your eye out.
    Reply

  2. Valdunagan said

    December 28, 2010 at 8:27 am e
    I love that sign. Where is that?
    Reply

  3. Jill said

    July 5, 2012 at 10:44 am e
    I just now saw your Sign post! Love it! Our street, which has speed bumps, is posted as 25 mph. The average driver goes about 45. Would it be fair to also post one in my front yard, with an arrow pointing at my neighbor’s house that says, “These Scumbags Lie About Their “Disability” To Collect Free Money From The Govt Each Month”
    Reply
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12/23/2010

A Christmas Story Famous Movie Quotes

leg-lamp
Leg Lamp
One of the most popular Christmas holiday movies is the 1983 hit, A Christmas Story. Over the years it has become a cult classic as replica’s of the props from the movie have become sought after gifts for birthdays and Christmas. I have the leg lamp. Four of them in fact. Here is the full size exact replica Leg Lamp of mine.
The following are some Quirky and entertaining quotes from A Christmas Story. Enjoy and have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
* Ralphie To Santa: “I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!”
* Santa in response to Ralphie: “You’ll shoot your eye out.”
* Ralphie’s Old Man after he spies his prized leg lamp broken: “You used up all the glue on purpose!”
* Ralphie’s old man obviously proud in displaying his prize, the leg lamp: “It’s a Major Award!”
* Ralphie’s old man reading the wording on the crate his prized leg lamp arrived in: “Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian.”
* Ralphie’s old man after seeing Ralphie in a full body fuzzy pink bunny costume: “He looks like a pink nightmare.”
* Ralphie’s old man after the neighbor’s dogs broke in and devoured the Christmas turkey: “Sons of bitches! Bumpuses!”
* Adult Ralphie Narrating: Adults loved to say things like that but kids knew better. We knew darn well it was always better not to get caught.
* Ralphie’s old man trying to muster up a come back after attempting to repair his broken leg lamp: “Not a finger.” (Notafinga)
* The Dog Dare: “Well I double-DOG-dare ya!
(Now it was serious. A double-dog-dare. What else was there but a Triple dare you? And then, the coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple-dog-dare. Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat! “I Triple Dog Dare You!”
* Schwartz: “Hey, smart ass. I asked my old man about sticking your tongue to a flagpole in the winter, and he says that it’ll freeze right to the pole, just like I told ya.”
* As Ralphie’s old man plugged in the Leg lamp: “The snap of a few sparks, a quick whiff of ozone, and the lamp blazed forth in unparalleled glory.”
Mr. Parker: “Oh, look at that! Will you look at that? Isn’t that glorious? It’s… it’s… it’s indescribably beautiful! It reminds me of the Fourth of July!”
Mr. Parker: (Unpacking his major award) “Would you look at that? Would you look at THAT?
Mother: What is it?
Mr. Parker: It’s a leg!
Mother: But what is it?
Mr. Parker: Well, it’s… A leg, you know, like a statue.
Mother: Statue?
Mr. Parker: Yeah, statue.
Ralphie: Yeah, statue.
Mother: Ralphie!
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] My mother was trying to insinuate herself between us and the statue.”
* Mr. Parker: “Holy smokes. Do… Do you know what this is? This is… A lamp!”
I recommend you watch A Christmas Story at least once this holiday season. It will be worth it. You can catch it beginning at 8PM Friday, Christmas Eve, on the TBS Network.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Responses to “Famous Quotes From A Christmas Story”


  1. Gumby said

    December 27, 2010 at 8:18 am e
    I did watch at least two hours of Ralphie. Best part, the “Oh Fud…….ge……
    Reply

    • LOTGK said

      December 29, 2010 at 8:50 am e
      Seriously, it was all the dad’s fault, he was the one who told Ralphie to hold the lug bolts there in that manner and he was the one who twisted around and hit them into the air scattering them in the snow.
      Reply

  2. Valdunagan said

    December 28, 2010 at 8:28 am e
    It must be Italian, that is my favorite one liner from the show. And you used up all the glue on purpose.
    Reply
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12/21/2010

Minnesota Vikings Most Popular Christmas Ornament

minnesota-vikings-most-popular-christmas-ornament
Minnesota Vikings Most Popular Christmas Ornament
For the 2010 Christmas season, this is the most popular decoration purchased in the state of Minnesota. “Fired” Childress pot warmers are running a close second.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all the Vikings fans, a very good quarterback in the draft.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Responses to “Most Popular Decoration In Minnesota”


  1. Gumby said

    December 22, 2010 at 10:13 am e
    Where can I get my hands on a pair of those pot warmers?
    Reply

  2. Valdunagan said

    December 28, 2010 at 8:30 am e
    That is the Viking season in a nutshell, or gingerbread house. The roof came crashing in on them. I think Jenn Sterger had Favre’s mind somewhere else and that is why he had such a terrible season.
    Reply

    • LOTGK said

      December 29, 2010 at 8:36 am e
      Very valid points. Favre was off his game the entire season. Perhaps realizing that his marriage, career, and golden boy status could go up in flames had his mind somewhere other than the blitzing linebacker.
      Reply

  3. Anti-Christ said

    January 3, 2011 at 1:26 pm e
    I told you last year that Brett Favre and I had a one year deal. He wanted the deal extended, but a contract is a contract.
    Reply
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1/01/2010

Happy New Year 2010

happy-new-year-pussy-cat
Happy New Year From Thunder Cat Newman
From everyone here at the Grassy Knoll Institute, including our very own Thunder Cat Newman:
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Responses to “Happy New Year 2010”


  1. Gumby said

    January 1, 2010 at 11:24 pm e
    Happy new year. You have one cool cat on your hands.
    Reply

  2. Leeuna said

    January 1, 2010 at 11:43 pm e
    Happy New Year!!! What a totally beautiful cat. Is he yours?
    Reply

    • LOTGK said

      January 2, 2010 at 2:05 am e
      And Happy new Year to you.
      And yes, this is Thunder, my cat. She is 4.5 pounds and loves the shower, the sink, the blow dryer, and the sweeper. Crazy Cat for sure.
      Reply

  3. Fracas said

    January 2, 2010 at 5:24 pm e
    Happy New Year to you… and Thunder (well ok, and anyone else living in your home with you that I, as a reader of your blog but yet… a stranger, am not aware of but who would be important to you nonetheless because after all, those people must be more important to you than us and we accept that…)
    ;-)
    Reply

  4. Izzy said

    January 3, 2010 at 2:21 am e
    Wild cat dude. Did it let you shoot those fireworks at her.
    Reply

    • LOTGK said

      January 5, 2010 at 8:24 am e
      They weren’t fireworks, they were party poppers. and no, we didn’t shoot them at Thunder, we placed the streamers on her head after the fact.
      Reply

  5. DataKing said

    January 4, 2010 at 12:17 pm e
    Cool Cat. Happy new year grassy knoll institute.
    Reply


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12/24/2009

A Christmas Ticket To Ride

On Christmas morning, a policeman on horseback was sitting at a traffic light, and next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike. The policeman said to the kid, “That’s a nice bike you got there son. Did Santa Clause get that for you?” The kid smiled and replied, “Yeah! Isn’t it great.” The policeman said, “Well next year, tell Santa to put a tail light on that bike.” The policeman then proceeded to write the kid a $20.00 ticket for a bicycle safety violation.
The kid took the ticket but before he rode off he said, “By the way, that’s a nice looking horse you got there. Did Santa clause get that for you?” Humoring the kid, the policeman smiled and said, “Why yes, he sure did.” The kid said, “Well next year tell Santa Clause to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top.”
Merry FN Christmas!
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Responses to “A Ticket To Ride Christmas”


  1. Max Jackl said

    December 28, 2009 at 9:30 am e
    LMAO!
    Reply

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12/23/2009

On The Tenth Day Of Christmas

christmas-pussy-trim
Thunder Cat Newman Trimming The Tree

 On the tenth day of Christmas,
The Grassy Knoll sent to me,
Thunder tangled in trimmings.

You all know my cat Thunder, the 4.5 pound cat that loves water, the sweeper, and my computer desk. She also loves helping me trim the Christmas tree. Here she is helping me untangle the silver tinsel.

Merry Christmas!


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
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12/20/2009

On The Seventh Day Of Christmas

14 Deadly Sins
On the seventh day of Christmas,
The Grassy Knoll sent to me,
Seven new deadly sins...

Vatican City, Rome:
Pope Benedict XVI announced today the Catholic Church, after 1500 years, has revised its list of the 7 deadly sins and added 7 new "Modern" sins. The Pope felt that with the globalization of religion, a new focus on the evils of society had to be addressed. The original seven deadly sins of Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed, and Sloth just couldn't cover the complex society humanity has evolved into.

Pope Benedict XVI released his updated list of 7 new activities considered to be deadly, or mortal sins and wants all Catholics to incorporate the list into their lives and teach their children so that future generations will become more spiritual and Godlike.

The Modern Seven deadly Sins are as follows:

1. Yanni: Any musician that irritates an audience to the level of hostile intentions.

2. Speidi: To overexpose oneself to the level of vomitus claiming self-importance. (See Spencer Pratt & Heidi Montag)

3. Lip Sync Ashley: Thou shall not charge huge amounts of money for a concert or event and Lip Sync to the audience.

4. Too Dutch: To hate for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

5. A Gosselin: Allowing parents to exploit their children for profit or fame by forcing them on reality shows. (See Jon And Kate Plus 8 and Balloon Boy Dad)

6. Kanyeism: To interrupt award ceremonies, weddings, other events with intent to blather on how the winner is not deserving of said accomplishment.

7. Bushing: To run the world economy into a recessionary state all for the good of one man or company.

Merry Christmas!


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
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12/14/2009

On The First Day Of Christmas

leg-lamp-a-major-award
I Present The Leg Lamp - A Major Award
To kick off the Christmas Holiday season, I thought I would sing the Twelve Days Of Christmas for everyone. However, Patty informed me of the International ban from 35 countries preventing me from singing.

But its Christmas, so damn the torpedoes. Here goes...

On the first day of Christmas,
The Grassy Knoll sent to me,
A leg lamp in the window.

Oh yea, can you spot the LOTGK logo.
Hint, its not on the Italian lamp.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
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