Showing posts with label AFD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label AFD. Show all posts

3/31/2008

Putting On My Jester Hat

Tomorrow is April 1st. And that means it's also April Fools Day which just happens to be the Grassy Knoll Institutes "Feast Day!" It is the one day out of the year that we get serious with current events and news stories.

I have already pulled out my Jester hat, (My wife Patty says its the same hat I wear every day) (I think in a way she is calling me a fool) and I am ready to deliver the news as only the Curator can. Some of you have made the news. Some I have had mercy on. And some I tread ever so lightly with.

Either way, the updates begin at midnight EST, and will continue until midnight tomorrow. (Thats 24 hours for those keeping score at home)

It is in your best interest to click here:

April Fools Day Archives to keep abreast of all the breaking news as this site will be updating at least once an hour beginning at 8am (I need some sleep people, I am not an animal, I am a human being) with at least 20 updates. Twenty one if you are in Vegas.

And remember, I am only the Curator. If you have a complaint, please email the (Lead Scientist) and let him have it with both barrels.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

4/01/2007

Pope Benedict XVI Announces Radical Changes


In his morning mass this Sunday, Pope Benedict XVI announced to the Vatican congregation that radical changes to the Catholic clergy will be immediately implemented. Beginning this day, all priests will be permitted to take a wife as well as all nuns will be permitted to have a husband. These changes are meant to increase the number of men and women to the calling of the priest hood and nunnery.



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Hell Really Exists


While out for an early morning Sunday cruise the Grassy Knoll Institute curator using his Magellan GPS roadmate, found evidence that Hell actually exists.



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UFO Crashes In Las Vegas



An unidentified flying object, (UFO) crash landed on the Las Vegas strip this morning. Thousands of reports flooded the LVPD describing the giant UFO in the sky over the strip. Eyewitness accounts stated the UFO was unsteady and flying very low almost hitting several casino's until it finally nose-dived and crashed in the street right by the fashion mall. The above exclusive photo was taken by a Grassy Knoll Institute rocket scientist just seconds before impact. The markings on the bottom right side of the ship looks strangely familiar and could possibly shed some light on from whence the aliens came from.


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Triple Dog Dare EFX2 Blogs


Slightly breaking protocol, I went right for the triple dog dare!


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Light In The Fog


Storm on the horizon for EFX.


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R.I.P. Efx2 Blogs


Death By Arrogance!


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EFX2 Blogs Conspiracy Indeed


I was the second shooter on the Grassy Knoll that brought up Google Adsense to raise more money.


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EFX2 Blogs Command Center


Fearless leader Keith and his See You Next Tuesday kind of a wife hard at work fixing the corrupted data on EFX2 blog platform.


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EFX2 Blogs Fortune Cookie


Now with 50% more Assholes!


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EFX2 Blog May You Rot In Hell


I Walk The Line!


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EFX2 Blog Ass Kissing Lessons


Can you identify any of your favorite EFX2 bloggers?


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Hillary Clinton Sans Make Up


With the presidential election race heating up with many candidates jockeying for position and air time, it was just about time for things to get nasty and ugly. A very unflattering photo of Hillary Clinton sans make-up is circulating the Internet like flying monkeys. Ms. Clinton refused to comment other than to say, "We're not in Arkansas anymore!" Former president and husband Bill Clinton was over heard saying in a low tone to his advisor, "I thought dropping a house on her sister would have slowed downed her political aspirations."


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Lost Update - Billion Year Old Carbon


Season III

Lost Update 04/01/2007 (Special)



Deja Vu

Last week I spoke of information that will blow the lid off all the secrets of the hit ABC series Lost, but I needed to research a few facts before revealing the true story behind Lost. My research is complete, and I am ready to reveal the true story line of Lost. I ask you all to hold judgement until you have read the entire article. Yes, it is a very long document, and you will have to re-read several sections to understand the meaning. But trust me, it will become clear as you read and comprehend. Have an open mind, let the thoughts in, the negativity out, and you will see the wonders of this article.

There are two parts to this story. The first part will deal with the survivors of the plane crash. Jack, Kate, Michael, Sayid, Locke, Sawyer, Claire, Sun, and the gang. The second part will explain the "Others," Ben, Juliet, Tom, Ethan, Karl, etc.

First, the plane crash survivors. There is no mystery here. It was a horrific plane crash where hundreds died leaving 48 survivors on one side of the beach and another 23 survivors from the tail section on the other side. Both groups banded together to increase their chances of survival. Several of them died on the shore from injuries to severe for Jack, the doctor, to help including the FBI agent who was taking Kate back to prison. Here's the kicker. There is nothing supernatural going on. They are not dead, or in hell, or trapped in the Bermuda Triangle, not abducted by aliens, nor unwilling participants in a virtual reality experiment. In reality, they are merely survivors of a plane crash trying to survive on a large island until help arrives to rescue them.

Wait, what about John Locke, who was bound to a wheel chair from a fall from an 8th story window and after the crash, miraculously was able to walk again? That is easily explained medically. If you recall a week back, during Locks flashback, he was suffering from depression about what his father did to him. He later catches up to him and is pushed out a window. Hence, he is now in a wheelchair. It was not implied that he would be in the chair forever. In fact, it looked like he was in physical therapy. After several months it was determined that Locks inability to walk wasn't physical, but a result of his depression he was still suffering. When he awoke on the island after the crash, his instincts for survival took over and he got up and got to safety.

Now for the second and long part of the article. Remember, keep an open mind here, read what I say, and let it sink in. At first, you will think I have flipped and gone mad but after several more paragraphs, it will slowly begin to make sense. i am going to be blunt and spell it out for you right now and then back up my claim with the printed evidence that was uncovered.

The 1960's was a radical time to live in. The Vietnam war at it's peak and the flower power children were protesting the army and the government. even John Lennon was protesting the war. The flower children, or hippies, were becoming a voice to be reckoned with, and their rallies more and more vocal and planned. The government, especially president Richard Nixon, took notice of this of and began to deploy more military personnel to each and every rally to secure and keep the peace. Soon afterwards, fights broke out between the soldiers and the flower people and the military presence elevated. It was inevitable that the outcome of a peace rally would result in death. Kent State, Ohio, May 4th, 1970, was that rally. Four students protesting the war were shot dead.

The summer of love, 1969, spawned Woodstock, the greatest rock and roll concert of all time. It was a week of love ins, drugs, spirituality, and rock and roll. A group of friends at that very concert, a group with like values, formulated a plan to set their souls free from oppression, the government, the war, and rules and regulations spewed out by boisterous politicians who spoke but said nothing.

Without further adieu, ABC Lost is based on a tight knit group of radical 1960's hippies where after Woodstock, pulled their resources together, scouted a deserted island location, purchased the island, and made it their home. There they would create the ultimate commune, where peace and love would be the only things on their minds. Politicians, money, and the influence of the outside world would be eliminated. They would be free to create their own laws to live by. The "Others" that are on the island now, they are the second generation "Flower Children" living on the island now still believing in the Woodstock values of their parents. If you recall, Ben stated that he was born on the island, which would make him around 38 years old.

But, as we start to see as the series plays out, paradise is lost as dissention in the ranks is rearing it's ugly head. Several people want to go home while others are disenchanted with the hippie way of life and are looking for another way. Ben is trying to hold onto the commune, but he sees it slipping away for the flower people have a dark secret that is the final nail in the commune way of life. Most of the adults are sterile, a condition passed down from their parents who during their life, experimented with many mind and body altering drugs. The results left them sterile leaving few options.

Needing help from the outside world, they seek out a fertility specialist, Juliet. With her techniques, the commune can once again repopulate the island and carry on. Now you understand why the children of the castaways were abducted. The children would allow the commune to repopulate.

Wait, there's more. Lost is modeled after the music recorded by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young, a popular hippie rock and roll band that performed at Woodstock. The songs from two of their albums, Deja Vu and So Far, plus several other assorted CSNY singles outline the plot and storyline of each episode. Sounds incredible doesn't it? I know, but wait until you see the evidence.

Go ahead, I'll wait while you Google the albums. But, you don't have to do that. We have the information directly following. In the next part of this update, I will point out the lyrics that pertain to the series even pointing out names in the lyrics.

Is it starting to sink in yet? Don't worry, it will. We're going to start with the song Woodstock, written by Joni Mitchell and performed by CSNY.

Well I came across a child of God
He was walking along the road
And I asked him tell where are you going
This he told me
NOTE: This is the chance meeting of the group that steered them toward freedom and seeking out the island.


Well I am going down to Yasgur's farm
Going to join in a rock and roll band
Goin' to get back to the land to set my soul free


We are stardust, we are golden
We are billion year old carbon
And we got to get ourselves back to the garden
NOTE: They considered themselves special, or golden, and as the line says, got to get ourselves back to the garden. Or tropical paradise island.


Well then can I walk beside you
I have come to lose the smog
And I feel like I'm a cog in something turning
And maybe it's the time of year
Yes and maybe it's the time of man
And I don't know who I am
But life is for learning
NOTE: No smog on the island, unless you consider the black smoke as smog. It was time for them to leave, the time of man, to find out exactly who they were.


We are stardust, we are golden
We are billion year old carbon
And we got to get ourselves back to the garden


By the time we got to Woodstock
We were half a million strong
And everywhere there was song and celebration
And I dreamed I saw the bombers jet planes
Riding shotgun in the sky
Turning into butterflies
Above our nation.
NOTE: Half a million like minded people celebrating peace, love, and rock and roll. Jet planes mentioned here, the same plane that crashed landed and the apparent previous planes.


We are stardust, we are golden
We are caught in a devil's bargain
And we got to get ourselves back to the garden


NOTE: Caught in a devils bargain. The second generation children were not part of the bargain. They did not have the choice their parents had. Paradise Lost indeed.

Note: Before we move to the next song, did you ever wonder why the computer and the video equipment in the hatches were from 1970? The flower children brought it with them, and in 1970, it was state of the art equipment. Also the music played, all records, all from 1970 or before. Same as the films in the hatch. All black and white, and all looking pre DVD and HD clarity. Also notice the clothes the "Others" wear. Clothes from the 60's, hippie clothes. I'll tell why the hatches are on the island later on in the update.

Let's move on to the next song. It's titled, Chicago, and speaks of the political scene of the 1960's and what the hippies wanted to avoid. Here are the lyrics. Pay close attention to them.

Though your brother's bound and gagged
And they've chained him to a chair
NOTE: Is the light starting to shine bright now? Lets look at the first two lines in this song. What is it depicting? That's right, John Locke's father bound and gagged and chained to a chair. We see this just two episodes ago.


Won't you please come to Chicago
Just to sing
In a land that's known as freedom
How can such a thing be fair
Won't you please come to Chicago
For the help we can bring
We can change the world
Re-arrange the world
It's dying - to get better
NOTE: The flower children wanted to change their world for the better. They knew there was a better way, and it was dying to get better.


Politicians sit yourself down,
There's nothing for you here
Won't you please come to Chicago
For a ride
NOTE: As the lyrics say, there is no government for the flower children, no politicians, there is nothing for them here.


Don't ask Jack to help you
Cause he'll turn the other ear
Won't you please come to Chicago
Or else join the other side
NOTE: Chicago also points out one man, Jack, the hero, or lead character on Lost. The song warns, Don't ask Jack to help you cause he'll turn the other ear, or else join the other side." And what does Jack do? Yep! You got it.


We can change the world
Re-arrange the world
It's dying - if you believe in justice
It's dying - and if you believe in freedom
It's dying - let a man live his own life
It's dying - rules and regulations, who needs them
Open up the door


Somehow people must be free
I hope the day comes soon
Won't you please come to Chicago
Show your face
From the bottom of the ocean
To the mountains of the moon
Won't you please come to Chicago
No one else can take your place
We can change the world
Re-arrange the world
It's dying - if you believe in justice
It's dying - and if you believe in freedom
It's dying - let a man live his own life
It's dying - rules and regulations, who needs them
Open up the door
We can change the world


NOTE: That verse is the credo of the flower children. Justice, Freedom, no rules and regulations.

The song Ohio is our next selection. This spurred the group to not flee the country, but an awakening of sorts, that they should have been gone long ago. They couldn't take the violence of the Vietnam war, and the governments power over the people. They had to get out, away from Nixon and the war. Here are the lyrics of Ohio.

Tin soldiers and Nixon's comin'
We're finally on our own.
This summer I hear the drummin'
Four dead in Ohio.
NOTE: The flower children hated the Vietnam war, Nixon, and the government. As mentioned, violence and death erupted at Kent State killing four students.
Gotta get down to it.
Soldiers are cutting us down.
Should have been done long ago.
What if you knew her and
Found her dead on the ground?
How can you run when you know?


Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.

Gotta get down to it.
Soldiers are cutting us down.
Should have been done long ago.
What if you knew her and
Found her dead on the ground?
How can you run when you know?


Tin soldiers and Nixon's comin'.
We're finally on our own.
This summer I hear the drummin'
Four dead in Ohio.
Four dead in Ohio.
Four dead in Ohio.
How many more?
Four dead in Ohio.
Four dead in Ohio.
Four dead in Ohio.
Four dead in Ohio.
Four dead in Ohio.
Four dead in Ohio.


I'm not so crazy now am I? Let's move on to the next song choice. It is titled, Carry On, and some of the lyrics were used on a previous Lost update. Yes, that was one of the clues I spoke about. Anyway, here are the lyrics.

One morning I woke up and I knew
You were really gone
A new day, a new way, I knew
I should see it along
Go your way, I'll go mine and
Carry on
NOTE: The first verse of this song tells the tale of not only the "Others" voyage to the new world, but the castaways plane crash. One morning I woke up and knew you were really gone. If you look back at all the flashbacks of the castaways, they are leaving something significant behind. They knew they had to leave and somehow carry on with their lives. Many left lovers and some left family, but the standard scenario was that they were going their way while the ones they left behind went theirs. As for the "Others" they were leaving behind their lives, the war, the hate, the establishment, rules and regulations, technology. Pretty much perfect lyrics.


The sky is clearing and the night
Has gone out
The sun, has come, the world
is all full of light
Rejoice, rejoice, we have no choice but
To carry on


The fortunes of fables are able
To sing the song
Now witness the quickness with which
We get along
To sing the blues you've got to live the tunes and
Carry on
NOTE: The next highlighted lines speaks of how fast everyone got along at their new tropical island paradise home. For the castaways, most everyone pulled together and pitched in to help. For the "Others" to sing the blues you have to live the tunes. All the "Others" had a hard life, put down by the man, and persecuted for being a hippie, and now, can enjoy solitude on their own island paradise.


Carry on
Love is coming
Love is coming to us all


Where are you going now my love?
Where will you be tomorrow?
Will you bring me happiness?
Will you bring me sorrow?
Oh, the questions of a thousand dreams
What you do and what you see
Lover can you talk to me?


Girl when I was on my own
Chasing you down
What was it made you run?
Trying your best just to get around.
The questions of a thousand dreams
What you do and what you see
Lover can you talk to me?


NOTE: Beginning with Love is coming, sit back and review in your mind the Lost series. Love is coming to us all. Even the fat guy Hurley, he found Libby. Even the bad guy Sawyer, Sayid found Shannon, Michael reunited with his son Walt, Charlie and Claire, and the many others. A simple hippy credo.

The next song offered is Suite Judy Blue Eyes.

It's getting to the point
Where I'm no fun anymore
I am sorry
Sometimes it hurts so badly
I must cry out loud
I am lonely
I am yours, you are mine
You are what you are
And you make it hard
NOTE: The first verse refers to the "Others" that originally came to the island paradise. They made a pack, a bond, to live in freedom, without violence. The past wants to be forgotten, but the children of the hippies want more.


Remember what we've said and done and felt
about each other
Oh babe, have mercy
Don't let the past remind us of what we are not now
I am not dreaming.
I am yours, you are mine
You are what you are
And you make it hard
NOTE: The flower children have changed, but are still leery of the past, of their parents who came to this paradise island.


Tearing yourself away from me now
You are free and I am crying
This does not mean I don't love you
I do, that's forever, yes and for always
I am yours, you are mine
You are what you are
And you make it hard
NOTE: To the ones that want to leave, they will always be loved, and they are free to go, but they are making it hard for them to go.


Something inside is telling me that
I've got your secret. Are you still listening?
Fear is the lock, and laughter the key to your heart
And I love you.
NOTE: Fear is the lock! As in John Locke? He does have a secret!


I am yours, you are mine, you are what you are
And you make it hard
And you make it hard


Friday evening, Sunday in the afternoon
What have you got to lose?
Tuesday mornin', please be gone I'm tired of you.
What have you got to lose?
Can I tell it like it is? Help me I'm sufferin'
Listen to me baby-Help me I'm dyin'
It's my heart that's a sufferin', it's a dyin'
That's what I have to lose
I've got an answer
I'm going to fly away
What have I got to lose?
Will you come see me
Thursdays and Saturdays?
What have you got to lose?


NOTE: The lament of Ben and his spinal surgery. He is suffering, and he is dying. What does he have to lose but kidnap Jack to do the surgery on him?

Chestnut brown canary
Ruby throated sparrow
Sing a song don't be long
Thrill me to the marrow
Voices of the angels ring around the moonlight
Asking me, said she so free
How can you catch the sparrow?
Lacy, lilting, lady, losing love, lamenting


Change my life, make it right
Be my lady.
Doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo


NOTE: Ben after the surgery, able to gain control of the group again.

The next song is Deja Vu.

If I had ever been here before I would probably know just what todo
Don't you?
If I had ever been here before on another time around the wheel
I would probably know just how to deal
With all of you.
And I feel
Like I've been here before
Feel
Like I've been here before
And you know
It makes me wonder
What's going on under the ground
NOTE: Whats going on under the ground? The hatches come into play here. If you remember, the 60's were a turbulent time, and on the brink of world war on several occasions. The flower children knew this so upon arrival to the island, they began to build bomb shelters in case the world decided to destroy itself. Seven hatches would be enough to house the commune, and enough food and animals to repopulate the island after the fallout dissipates.


Do you know?
Don't you wonder?
What's going on down under you.


We have all been here before
We have all been here before
We have all been here before
We have all been here before


NOTE: Deja Vu. As in, several plane crashes, new survivors, but the same old story.

Southern Cross is the next tune to support the Lost theme.

Got out of town on a boat
Goin' to Southern islands.
Sailing a reach
Before a followin' sea.
She was makin' for the trades
On the outside,
And the downhill run
To Papeete.
NOTE: This is the story of the flower children's journey to the new island.
Off the wind on this heading
Lie the Marquesas.
We got eighty feet of the waterline.
Nicely making way.
In a noisy bar in Avalon
I tried to call you.
But on a midnight watch I realized
Why twice you ran away.
NOTE: Depicting the others that attempted to leave the island, twice ran on a midnight watch.


Think about how many times
I have fallen
Spirits are using me
larger voices callin'.
What heaven brought you and me
Cannot be forgotten.
I have been around the world,
Lookin' for that woman/girl,
Who knows love can endure.
And you know it will.
And you know it will.


When you see the Southern Cross
For the first time
You understand now
Why you came this way
'Cause the truth you might be runnin' from
Is so small.
But it's as big as the promise
The promise of a comin' day.
So I'm sailing for tomorrow
My dreams are a dyin'.
And my love is an anchor tied to you
Tied with a silver chain.
I have my ship
And all her flags are a flyin'
She is all that I have left
And music is her name.


Think about how many times
I have fallen
Spirits are using me
larger voices callin'.
What heaven brought you and me
Cannot be forgotten.
I have been around the world,
Lookin' for that woman/girl,
Who knows love can endure.
And you know it will.
And you know it will.
So we cheated and we lied
And we tested
And we never failed to fail
It was the easiest thing to do.
You will survive being bested.
Somebody fine
Will come along
Make me forget about loving you.
At the Southern Cross.


NOTE: The lyrics proclaim true love, a lover searching the world for the perfect woman. The lyrics also says they cheated, lied, and tested and never failed. So far, they have not failed.

Two more songs to go. The next selection is Our House.

I'll light the fire
You place the flowers in the vase
That you bought today


Staring at the fire
For hours and hours
While I listen to you
Play your love songs
All night long for me
Only for me


Come to me now
And rest your head for just five minutes
Everything is good
Such a cosy room
The windows are illuminated
By the sunshine through them
Fiery gems for you
Only for you


Our house is a very, very fine house
With two cats in the yard
Life used to be so hard
Now everything is easy
'Cause of you
And our la,la,la, la,la etc


And our

I'll light the fire
And you place the flowers in the vase
That you bought today

NOTE: Our House depicts the loving flower children's living environment. Very quiet, loving, calm, everything a flower child would dream of. Notice when the camp was shown, there was a book club, playing football, laughing, conversing. Something right out of the 1950's movies.

Last song, Teach Your children.

You who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a good bye.


Teach your children well,
Their father's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by.


Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.


And you, of tender years,
Can't know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the truth before they can die.


Teach your parents well,
Their children's hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by.


Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

NOTE: This song speaks of the cycle of life that is going on with the children of the flower children. The children have no idea what their parents went through before arriving on the island. The parents taught their children about love and freedom. But it is the children who do the teaching as well. The parents have no idea what hell they are putting their children through.

There you go folks. What Lost is really about. I asked you at the beginning to have an open mind about this and to re-read the lyrics several times if needed.

Season four is right around the corner, and there are plenty more songs left from the albums. Read the rest of the lyrics to find out what will be happening next season.

Until the next update, get LOST.




LURKING, STILL LOST ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Real Father Of Anna Nicole Smiths Baby


I am the father of Anna Nicole Smiths baby daughter Danielyn. Anna was so easy, even I could do her.

Geico insurance is preparing a commercial to air during sweeps week.


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Boy Scouting - Gemma Massey

gemma-massey-girl-scout
With the waning interest of the male youth in the Boy Scouts of America franchise and with the pack leaders, usually the fathers of the scouts becoming fewer each year, the scout masters have taken immediate steps to reverse this trend. A new national ad campaign has debuted this morning to generate new interest in boy scouts. The ad simply states, BOY SCOUTING! So far this morning, 350,000 adult men have signed up to be pack leaders. Yes Mike, this one's for you.

PS: The model is none other than Gemma Massey, international print and cover model.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Bill Clinton Hires New Aid

Take Aim Billy!!!

With his wife Hillary hard at work on her presidential campaign, former president Bill Clinton decided to prepare for another run at the white house and hire a personal secretary for his needs. After many one on one interviews, Bill had found the best qualified.At least with her special attributes, there won't be any stains on her dress.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL



4/01/2006

Thanks For Playing 2006


Neener and Grimfairy showed up at the Grassy Knoll Institutes secret laboratory to dance the night away. The party was rockin, even after I had taken the liberty of so many peoples blogs today. I hope you all know it was in good nature and all good clean fun. I make it an annual tradition to post like mad on April Fools day. My friends say its my real feast day, not St. Patricks Day, which really is.

Anyway, if I left anyone out, you should feel lucky but rest assured you will be targeted for next year.

Again, thank you all for reading my blog, commenting, and putting up with my crazy nature.

And Modblog sucks. LOL.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Slade Wilson - Expert Marksman



Continuing with the seize on the Grassy Knoll Institute secret laboratory, at least we know who shot out all its windows. All that was heard as Slade escaped was, "Its Slade baby, tell daddy how you like it." The Institute followed his trail and tracked his trail to this location.
Slade Wilson Home


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Ufo Crashes In Las Vegas



Grassy Knoll Institute reports that a Giant Alien UFO crash landed on the Las Vegas strip this afternoon. Eyewitnesses confirmed that the saucer shaped craft was wobbling and seemed out of control as it approached the city. In an instant, the craft attempted to climb but an apparent power failure caused the ship to slam into the street below just missing the newly built Wynn Hotel and Casino. The crash caused a huge fireball. Dave, a special ops officer on the scene already had the area secured as more military personnel arrived. The Institute will relay more updates as they come in.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL