Ink Blotter Test

To become employed as a Grassy Knoll Institute rocket scientist, a litany of tests must be completed. This is the final one. The so-called pysch test.
Simply, look at the above canvass and tell us what you see in the ink blotter?
You have 30 seconds.

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Smoky Mountain Brewery And Restaurant

Gatlinburg, Tennessee has literally dozens of fabulous restaurants to choose from and the Smoky Mountain Brewery and Restaurant is an excellent choice.

The Brewery is of course a micro brewery that has hundreds of brands of beer and spirits but I was there for the food. And the Brewery did not disappoint.

Another nice feature were the many TV sets tuned to all the NFL games and the angles were perfect. Any game we wanted to watch were in eye shot.

After getting seated, the place was packed, but we only waited about 20 minutes, I ordered the Chicken Parmigiana with a side of spaghetti. Toasted garlic bread was also part of the meal.The chicken was excellent, hot, juicy, spicy, and a hearty portion. The spaghetti, supposedly a side order, was huge and delicious. The garlic bread was hot and sealed the deal. The entire meal was almost perfect, including the service, which was fast, courteous, and correct.

The price was very reasonable, around 18 dollars without tip. The Grassy Knoll Institute awards 4.5 shots out of 5 and recommends Smoky Mountain Brewery for dinner.

PS: This is also the restaurant where I stapled up my dollar bill with my LOTGK logo enblazoned on it.

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NFL Acquiesces To Fans

As reported in last weeks Grassy Knoll Institute Conspiracy, the NFL network was playing hard ball with cable operators forcing them to pony up to satisfy their customers for the upcoming prime game of the unbeaten 15-0 New England Patriots at the New York Giants this Saturday night.

As stated before, history and NFL records could be easily set in this game. Not only would New England be the first team in NFL history to go 16-0, quarterback Tom Brady can break the single season TD passes and total yards while Randy Moss needs two TD's to break Jerry Rice's long standing most tD's in a single season.

The NFL has succumbed to the pressure put upon them by the Grassy Knoll Institute, Sen. John Kerry, and other legislators to force the NFL to carry the game on local channels so all can enjoy.

Yesterday, Commissioner Roger Goodell stated in a press conference that the game will be shown on CBS, NBC, and the NFL Network, the first game to be three-network simulcast in 40 years, since the first Super Bowl in 1967. Goodell says it is in the best interest of the fans that the NFL is airing the game on three networks but just a few days ago, the NFL said they would not acquiesce and that the game would be broadcast only on the NFL Network.

The NFL is in the midst of a horrific public relations nightmare and only at this point decided to change their tune. Only the best interests of the fans in mind! Bullshit. The almighty dollar drives the NFL and they almost bullied the cable operators to pony up.

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Top 10 Christmas Programs

The Essential Christmas Programs Must See List

Each year, hundreds of Christmas movies and television programs air during the holiday season. (Thanksgiving through the first of the year) Some are worth viewing, some not so much, and some are essential viewing creating the holiday tradition as the family sits around the tube and watches certain shows over and over every year. The following is the Grassy Knoll Institutes essential list of the top 10 Christmas shows.

It's A Wonderful Life (1946)
George Bailey, the richest man in town, in love not money. After defaulting on a bank transaction loan, George wishes he were never born setting off a chain of events that he witnesses through the eyes of his guardian angel. (Jimmy Stewart Stars)

A Christmas Story (1983)
Set in the 1940's in Indiana, Ralphie, a ten year old boy wants a Red rider BB gun for Christmas and tries to convince his parents to get it for him. A great depiction of American life in the 1940's. Love the Leg Lamp, (Electric Sex) the Pink Nightmare bunny suit, Not A Finger, Triple Dog Dare, Fra..gil...e, A Major award, and You'll shoot your eye out. And, putting your tongue on a cold metal pole will stick. Trust me. (Melinda Dillon as Ralphies mom, Darren McGavin as Ralphies dad, and Peter Billingsley as Ralphie stars)

We're No Angels (1955)
During Christmas, three convicts, Joseph, Julius, and Albert escape from Devil's Island prison. Waiting for a ship to take them to freedom, they take a job repairing a roof of a local merchant. The three convicts from their vantage point, look into the souls of the merchants family and the hardships they have. The convicts decide to help the family out after the arrival of Cousin Andre and Paul who own the shop and are only concerned with profits and nothing else. If it has no cash value, then it's worthless. A pet snake named Adolph helps the convicts along to give the merchant and his family a merry Christmas. (Humphrey Bogart as Joseph, Aldo Ray as Albert, Peter Ustinov as Jules stars)

The Bishops Wife (1947)
A Bishop has lost his way while working for months on a new cathedral. In this process, he neglects his family, friends, and parishioners and about to lose his very soul until divine intervention steps in by way of an angel sent by God by the name of Dudley. Dudley introduces himself and proceeds to collect the love and adoration of everything Henry, (The Bishop) holds dear, including his wife. Henry finally stands up to Dudley, and fights for what is really important to him just in time for Christmas Eve mass. (Cary Grant as Dudley and David Niven as Bishop Henry stars)

Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
Santa Claus goes on trial. A Macy's store Santa Claus calls himself Kris Kringle and believes he is the real Santa. A legal battle ensues and Santa Claus goes on trial. A savvy lawyer takes his case and the testimony is brilliant. (Maureen O'Hara as Doris Walker, Edmund Gwenn as Kris Kringle, Natalie Wood as Susan Walker stars)

Home Alone (1990)
Kevin, the youngest child of a large family gets left home alone as the entire family takes a trip for Christmas. Kevin finds being alone fine and dandy until he has to defend his home and life from the Wet Bandits, two hapless thugs that are breaking into the houses in the neighborhood.
(Macaulay Culkin as Kevin, Joe Pesci as Harry, Daniel Stern as Marv stars)

Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer (1964)
An animated classic tale of Santa Claus at the North Pole needing Rudolph, a misfit flying reindeer with a powerful red nose to guide his sleigh through the blizzard conditions on Christmas Eve. Along the way, Rudolph meets up with Herbie, the elf dentist, Yukon Cornelius, the Bumble, and King Moonrazor, the leader of the island of misfit toys. (Burl Ives as the snowman narrator stars)

A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)
A Charles M. Schulz animated classic of the commercialization of Christmas. Charlie Brown seeks the true meaning of Christmas while his friends and even his own dog celebrate Christmas with money, and presents, and lights and decorations. it takes his best friend Linus to explain to him what Christmas is all about.

How The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (1966)
An animated book from Dr. Suess comes to life in the form of a mean old lonely Grinch that lives high atop Whoville. The Grinch hates everything about Christmas and plans to stop christmas from coming this year to Whoville by stealing all the presents, decorations, tree's, lights, and food. The Grinch learns a powerful lesson as he witnesses the Christmas spirit still alive in the town of Whoville. (Boris Karlof as the narrator and the voice of the Grinch stars)

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town (1970)
The story of Kris Kringle, who later became Santa Claus. All the questions little children have about Santa Claus are answered in this animated story as Kringle was left on a doorstep and grew up with elves making toys and learning the family business. It even explains how Santa knows if you were bad or good and how reindeer know how to fly. (Fred Astaire as the mailman Narrator and Mickey Rooney as Kris Kringle stars)

As a child, I waited ever so patiently for these programs to air on TV. I would have the calendar circled and made sure I was home to watch these programs. I didn't have the luxury of a VCR to record the program and watch it whenever I wanted. I only had one chance per year.

There is still time to catch these programs on TV or rent them at the local video store. It will be well worth the time spent viewing with your family and children.

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LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Merry Christmas From Grassy Knoll Institute

Sexy Snow Bunnies On the Grassy Knoll

Happy Holidays from the entire staff of the
Grassy Knoll Institute

Is it nippy in here?

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Catholic School Uniforms

Sexy Catholic School Girl Uniform

School uniforms in the 1960’s never looked like this. And what a shame for more kids would have signed up for Catholic grade school. At least more boys would have.
In the 1960’s and early 70’s, school uniforms were a dress code requirement that had to be worn by both the girls and the boys. Come to think of it, the nuns and priests also had a dress code. Perhaps these unhappy souls forced us to wear a uniform since they had too.

Anyway, for the boys, the uniform consisted of the following.

Dress shoes. No tennis shoes allowed unless it was recess time. The shoes could be tied or the very popular ‘Penny Loafer” type. (You bought the loafers and wedged a penny into the slot at the top of the shoes) (You know, they also came from Penny's department store as well.) (Some rich kids would put dimes in the slots, but they were really rich)

Dress pants. No blue jeans or shorts allowed. The pants had to be either dark blue or black. No color variations permitted. (Made it easier to blend in when you did something wrong however)

White button down shirt. The only option permitted was short sleeve or long sleeve.

Sweaters were optional and had to coordinate with the uniform. Hence, a blue or a black sweater only. And you had to bring a note from home that you were wearing a sweater that day. (There were times a child received detention for wearing a sweater without a written signed note from home.)

Tie. A tie completed the ensemble. Most of the ties worn were the fake variety. (Clip on ties) Only the rich kids wore real ties. The big fad was the scarf tie, (A scarf with a gold ring inserted at both ends to secure it. Sort of made the boys look like catholic cowboys. Whatever the hell that looks like) (Come to think of it, these scarf ties with the gold rings could have been the prototype for the very first “Prince Albert.” Get it, dick head!)

There was also a ritual that went on during recess concerning the ties. For some reason, as soon as we got outside, we went for the throats of our fellow students ripping their ties off and throwing them hoping that the wind would somehow catch them and sail away. The kid would immediately scramble for his tie to secure it back in place. (God forbid a nun would see you out of uniform) No one was safe. Not even the rich kids with real ties. In fact, they paid a heavier price than the rest of us. When their ties were yanked from their neck, their heads came with them.

For the girls, the uniform consisted of the following.
Black shoes. Most were black patent leather. And every Catholic school boy from the 60’s knew that black patent leather shoes reflected up. (I won’t explain, either you know, or you don’t know)

White socks or stockings. Only the rich girls were stockings.
A dark blue or black plead skirt and suspenders. (Yes, these uniforms were uber sexy, left everything to the imagination) The skirt had to be touching below the knee for it to be within legal parameters. The Nuns would check the “Slutty” (Usually the rich girls) girls each day to make sure they were in compliance. If not, they had to wear the nun cape, (The nuns wrap, which was huge and wrapped around any kid like a blanket) until a parent or older sister or brother could bring the proper uniform for them to change in to.

A white button blouse. Again, the only option was long sleeve or short sleeve.

Sweater. See above. Same rules applied for the girls on sweaters.

There we were, all dressed exactly like each other, with folded hands on our desks ready to learn about the wonders of the Catholic faith. Rich and poor kids alike. As if somehow this was important to Jesus, or to our faith. A man who wore a robe and sandals with a beard and long hair.

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When You Stop Wearing Thought Screen Helmets

Do Not Remove Your Thought Screen Helmet

You should know by now wearing a thought screen helmet lined with velostat prevents an evil alien race from telepathically controlling your mind. However, if you are feeling safe and are considering removing your helmet, look what happens when you do remove your thought screen helmet? Jesse, Wylene, and Ernie found out the hard way.

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New England Patriots Perfect Season

Saturday, December 29th, at 8pm EST, the New England Patriots face the New York Giants for the final regular game of the season. The Patriots, now at 14-0 will perhaps be going for a perfect season that final game while the Giants will be playing for a tight raced wild card spot. The NFL could not have dreamed of a better scenario than the match-up as all eyes will be tuning in to watch a little bit of sports history.

As if anything more was needed for the thrones of fans to tune in, several more records should be there for the taking during this game for quarterback Tom Brady and receiver Randy Moss.

Tom Brady, the Patriots quarterback, can easily shatter the record for most touchdowns in a single season during this game surpassing Peyton Manning and Dan Marino.

Randy Moss can break the receiving yards record for a single season and also break Jerry Rice's long standing record of most TD's in a single season.

The hype has already begun as the fabled 1972 Miami Dolphins, who went a perfect 17-0, are being compared to the present day Patriots on almost every NFL program. Millions of non football fans will tune in just to see what all the hub bub is all about making this one game one of the highest rated broadcasts rivaling even the super bowl games of past years.

But there's a problem. The game is slated to be televised on the NFL Network, a TV channel that only 1% of the American public receives. A game this big and no one will be able to see history possibly be written.

The NFL is standing firm stating that the game will not be switched to CBS, NBC, or FOX and will air on the NFL Network.

I will guarantee that millions of fans will be calling their local cable companies demanding that they allow the game to be shown in their area. But there's the rub.

DirecTV ponied up this year when the NFL negotiations were open and out bid the cable company giants.

This is where the conspiracy portion enters.

The NFL Network much like cable channel ESPNU have a very limited audience. About 1% of the nation has access to the NFL network football games. The cable companies balked at the cost the NFL wanted for them to air the Thursday and Saturday night special games starting Thanksgiving night every year. Hence, only DirecTV subscribers can tune in.

So what can the network do to bolster ratings? Do exactly what ESPNU did last year. Televise the top rated games on that channel knowing that it would cause an outcry from the fans and hopefully force the cable companies to pony up and televise the games. ESPNU aired the Ohio State Buckeyes while they were undefeated and ranked #1 in the country and other top ranked teams showed up on the U network when low profile games used to be only shown.

The NFL is forcing the same type of scenario. In two weeks, tens of millions of fans will be very upset not being able to view the game causing animosity and hard feelings toward their cable providers. Countless phone calls and emails will be fielded as to why the game is not available and they won't like the answer that it cost to much money to air these limited games.

The Patriots are poised to go a perfect 16-0 while Brady and Moss have obtainable NFL records as well in the final game. The NFL Network could not have asked for a better catalyst to force cable companies.

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Geneva On The Lake Breakwaters

This August we visited Geneva on the Lake. There were plenty of changes as the amusement park. Erieview Park was dismantled in 2006 and was cleared away.

Making our way down to the beach, or what was once the beach so many years ago, I gathered some stones with fellow institute scientist Patrick and left our mark, (Our logo) on the cement breaker.

We relaxed on the park benches spread out on the shoreline and enjoyed the sunny day. About a half hour later, several young people ambled out to the breaker where our logo was.

They looked at the logo, then looked around to see if anyone was watching them. Looked at the logo again, stared at each other awhile, looking befuddled trying to figure it out what the LOTGK stood for. (Truth, justice, and the American way) Several minutes later, they walked away.The Grassy Knoll Institute legend continues.

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Hooked On A Feeling

Shark Hooks In Womans Back

When in Florida, the Grassy Knoll Institute likes to relax and do a little deep sea fishing. Usually we don't catch anything and really don't care that we don't. Marlin, swordfish, and sharks are the usual catch but sometimes we get our hooks into something unusual.

Although we hauled this one into the boat, reluctantly we had to release the catch due to the Florida fish and wildlife license.

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Peter Frampton - Frampton Comes Alive 1976

Frampton Comes Alive 1976

This album had it all. A live performance, a wild crowd, superb guitar play, and 90 minutes of music that could be played at ear bleeding volumes. Frampton Comes Alive debuted at the heart of the so called Disco Era but quickly found a strong following of fans screaming for more.

Frampton Comes Alive was released in 1976 and his signature song from the album, Do You Feel Like We Do is the song most identified with Frampton. It was the song that during his guitar riffs, he would make his guitar talk by using a device known as a talkbox. When the guitar started talking, the crowd was whipped into a frenzy cheering and screaming wildly. If you only listen to one Peter Frampton song, it is highly recommended that it be Do You Feel Like We Do as that one. You will come back for more.

Sidenote: The talkbox was a hidden device consisting of a clear tube that Frampton spoke into. The tube was connected to the guitar and in turn the guitar was connected to the talkbox on the stage. Whatever Frampton spoke into the tube, it would reverberate through the amplifier and sounded just like the guitar was talking. The rock band Aerosmith used this technique the previous year on it's hit single, Sweet Emotion but Frampton is most known for the wide use of the talkbox.

Second Sidenote: Frampton Comes Alive was recorded at Winterland, San Francisco and has sold over 16 million copies making it the best selling "Live" album to date. Show Me The way and Baby I Love Your Way were the album's hit singles that made it to the top 6 along with the 14 minute plus version of Do You Feel Like We Do earning Frampton more than 70 million dollars in 1976.

Peter Frampton honed his guitar skills playing lead in the band Humble Pie and The Herd. After several years, he recorded his own album, and two more before Comes Alive hit the mainstream of rock and roll. A rock and roll legend was born in San Francisco the night the album was recorded live on stage and 31 years later, only the lines on Frampton's face has changed. The music remains as strong and powerful as ever.

The back cover has Frampton with his signature guitar rocking on stage. The album didn't open as usual album jackets. This one opened from the top and when folded out completely, showed a full picture of Frampton jamming on stage with his guitar.
The album title tracks are printed on the right side.

Side One:
Introduction
Something's Happening
Doobie Wah
Show Me The Way
It's A Plain Shame

Side Two:
All I Want To Be (Is By Your Side)
Wind Of change
Baby I Love Your Way
I Wanna Go To The Sun

Side Three:
Penny For Your Thoughts
(I'll Give You) Money
Shine On
Jumping Jack Flash

Side Four:
Lines On My Face
Do You Feel Like We Do


The left inside jacket pictured Stanley Sheldon, back up guitar, and Bob Mayo, guitar and keyboards. Framptons previous albums were listed on the bottom right side.


The right inside jacket pictured drummer John Siomos and a larger picture of Frampton on stage. Bob Mayo played keyboards and is the only band member mentioned in the performance other than Frampton.


Both album inner jackets picture 25 popular albums which included The Captain And Tennille, The Carpenters, Joe Cocker, Styx, The Tubes, Pablo Cruise, Supertramp, Cat Stevens, Herb Albert, Head East, Joan Baez, and Spooky Tooth.


The album itself with the hit song from the album, Do You Feel Like We Do showing.

Here are the lyrics to Do You Feel Like We Do

Well, Woke up this morning with a wine glass in my hand
Whose wine, what wine, where the hell did I dine
Must have been a dream, I don’t believe where I've been
Come on... lets do it again

Do you, you, feel like I do
How's it feel
Do you, you, feel like I do

My friend got busted just the other day
They said don't walk, don't walk, don't walk away
Drove him to a taxi bent the boot hit the back
Had to play some music otherwise he'd crack

Do you, you, feel like I do
How's it feel
Do you, you, feel like I

Do you, you, feel like I do
Yes I do
Do you, you, feel like I do

Champagne for breakfast and a sherman in my hand
Peached up, peach ale, never fails
Must have been a dream, I don't believe where I've been
Come on... lets do it again

Do you, you, feel like I do
How you'd feel
Do you, you, feel like I

Bob Mayo on the keyboards, Bob Mayo

Do you feel like we do
Do you feel like we do
Ohhh that's true
Do you feel like we do, get back
Do you feel, do you feel like we do

Talkbox Lyrics
Do you feel
Do you feel
Like I feel
I want to thank you

Do you feel like we do
That's alright, that's alright to feel you'd like
Feel you'd like, a good time
We'll goto bed and good night
Good time, good time, good time, good time, tonight
Well...........

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What Lies Beneath A Nuns Robe

Father O'Malleys Prayers Have Been Answered

What really lies beneath a nuns black robe.And you thought I was crazy for pulling the habit off my first grade teacher, sister Ann Teresa.

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The Women of Star Trek

Sexy Women Of Star Trek

Star Trek, a science fiction cult phenomenon TV show created by Gene Roddenberry first aired in 1966 which spawned many blockbuster movies and spin-off TV series since. From Star Trek, to The Next Generation, to Deep Space 9, to Voyager, to finally back to Enterprise, a sort of prequel to where it all began.

Along with the Earthlings of the future battling aliens and solving the problems of the Universe, there was always one constant on Star Trek. Thats right. Women. Beautiful women. This is a tribute to the beautiful women with lead roles in all the series.

Nurse Chapel

Nurse Chapel. Original series. Gene Roddenberry's wife, Nurse Chapel had the hots for Spock, the half human, half vulcan Commander. She had her chance a few times with Spock, but never quite brought the romance to fruition. She also had a recurring role on TNG as a betazoid queen and was also the voice of the computer in all following series.

Lt. Uhura

Lt. Uhura, Communications officer. Original series. Uhura made Television history with Captain Kirk with the first interracial kiss as both were being controlled by aliens with telpathic powers. No one messed with Uhura, she would lull you off guard with her singing and then cut you up with her knives.

Yeoman Rand

Yeoman Rand. Original series. Captain Kirk's sexy blonde eye candy. Yeoman Rand was put into several dire situations. Her most famous episode was when the crew contracted a deadly aging disease and she had to cope with Kirk aging rapidly and finding out that the disease had infected her as well.

Dr. Beverly Crusher

Moving to the spinoff series, The Next Generation, Beverly Crusher, the ships chief medical officer, has a history with Captaqin Picard and several episodes elude to their steamy past. Her son Wesley is apparently the most gifted man in the universe.

Deanna Troi

Deanna Troi, half Betazoid, half Human ship counselor. The Next Generation. She used her telepathic powers to aid Captain Picard in alien negotiations and to sense fear and danger. Was romantically linked to Worf, the Klingon warrior, and to Commander Will Riker.

Tasha Yar

Tasha Yar. The Next Generation. The tough, blonde, rebel with a past security chief. She was killed off by an alien resembling an oil slick. She later appeared as a cloned Romulan and also in an alter universe episode. And she had sexual relations with Commander Data, the human android.

Major Kira Nerys

Major Kira Nerys. Deep Space 9. Former member of the Bajoran underground and now Captain Cisco's right hand woman. Romantically linked to Odo, the shape shifting head of security on the space station.

Jadzia Dax

Jadzia Dax. Deep Space 9. Jadzia was a Trill, a species that had a symbiotic relationship with a worm like being. Dax was well over 300 years old, and was transplanted in many hosts, both male and female. She was romantically linked to the stations doctor, Julian.

Ezri Dax

Ezri Dax. Deep Space 9. After Jadzia Dax was murdered, the Trill host, or symbiot survived and needed to be transplanted into a Trill host or also face death. Ezri, the young ambitious officer, never wanted to be joined with the Trill, but was the only host. She continued the rest of the series as a very confused, yet sexy Star Fleet officer.

Captain Janeway

Captain Janeway. Voyager. Janeway, a seasoned captain is marooned in the Delta quadrant 75 years away from home. Her ship and crew must face terrible challenges alone. Janeway was romantically linked to Chakota, Commander and former leader of a rogue faction called the Marquee.

B'Lanna Torres

B'Lanna Torres. Voyager. The half Klingon, half Human chief engineer of Voyager. Also a rebel Marquee fighter, and was romantically linked to both Chakota and ended up marrying Tom Paris, the crack pilot of Voyager.

Kes Voyager

Kes. Voyager. Kes was a two year old Okampan alien from the Delta Quadrant. Her life span was 9 years and was romantically linked to the Talaxian Neelix, the holographic doctor, and to Tom Paris. She left the show in grand style saving the crew from the Borg and propelling them 20 years closer to home.

Seven Of Nine

Seven Of Nine. Voyager. Seven was assimilated by the Borg as a young girl and was finally freed by the crew of Voyager 20 years later. Even though she carries some remnant Borg hardware on her face and body, Seven emulated sexuality. She was romantically linked to Tom Paris and the holographic doctor.

Hoshi Sato

Hoshi Sato. Enterprise. Hoshi was a skilled linguist and accepted Captain Archers request to become communications officer for the first Warp 5 space ship. Her character never had a chance to develop any personal relationships but the best guess would be Malcolm, Tactical officer.

T'Pol Of Vulcan

T'Pol of Vulcan. Enterprise. T'Pol, the 66 year old Vulcan science officer was forced by the Vulcan high command to help the humans in their quest for space exploration. T'Pol made Star Trek history by having the first nude love scene with Trip, chief engineer.


There you have it. The sexiest women of Star Trek. All 15 of them.

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Jesus Christ Superstar - 1970

Jesus Christ Superstar A 1970 Rock Opera

Jesus Christ Superstar, A 1970 Rock Opera

Jesus Christ Superstar, 1970, a rock opera written by Andrew Lloyd Webber with lyrics written by Tim Rice. This double album told the story of the events of Christ leading up to the crucifixion. This record, at the time, was very controversial. The Catholic church condemned the album citing blasphemy with "Hippies" singing songs about Jesus. As always, the young teens who heard this flocked to the record stores to buy this "Banned" album.
Ironically, Jesus Christ Superstar kept very close to the New Testament version and helped the young people of the day learn about the crucifixion and Christ's teachings. Apparently, rock and roll is not always the devils music.

The front cover simply states JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR with golden angels linked in a circle bowing towards each other.

Yes, this is a double album but the inside jacket is simply a dark brown with absolutely no writing, art work, or pictures. Not even a list of songs or acts. It's the only album I can recall that has nothing on the inside jacket.

Second verse, same as the first. The right side of the jacket is the same, all brown with no writing except at the top right that has MCA2-10000 which is certainly an album code.

The backcover has the cast of Superstar :
Jesus Christ..........Ian Gillan
Judas Iscariot........Murray Head
Mary Maddalene........Yvonne Elliman
Pontius Pilate........Barry Dennen
King Herod............Mike D'Abo
Caiaphas..............Victor Brox
Simon Zealotes........Johnny Gustafson
Peter.................Paul Davis
Annas.................Brian Keith
High Priest...........Paul Raven

Performing in Superstar are members of Deep Purple, Joe Cockers Grease Band, Lord Sutch, Aynsley Dunbar Retaliation, The Big Three, Juicy Lucy, Quartermass, Merseybeats, Gracious, Plastic Penny, Spooky Tooth, Manfred Mann, and Nucleaus. And the 85 piece orchestra and the strings of the city of London.



The album had an insert with the complete score, lyrics, acts, scenes, and cast, and crew. It provides an easy way to follow along with the opera. Of course, the most popular song from the album was Superstar and got plenty of airtime on the radio. However, there were two versions of the song, a short and long play version. Here is the long play version lyrics.

Judas:
Every time I look at you I don't understand
Why you let the things you did get so out of hand
You'd have managed better if you'd had it planned
Why'd you choose such a backward time and such a strange land?

If you'd come today you would have reached a whole nation
Israel in 4 BC had no mass communication
Don't you get me wrong (repeat)
I only want to know (repeat)

Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ
Who are you? What have you sacrificed?
Jesus Christ Superstar
Do you think you're what they say you are?

Tell me what you think about your friends at the top
Who'd you think besides yourself's the pick of the crop?
Buddah was he where it's at? Is he where you are?
Could Muhammmed move a mountain or was that just PR?
Did you mean to die like that? Was that a mistake or
Did you know your messy death Would be a record-breaker?

Don't you get me wrong (repeat)
I only want to know (repeat)

Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ
Who are you? What have you sacrificed?
Jesus Christ Superstar
Do you think you're what they say you are?
(repeat and fade out)

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Santa Claus Conspiracy

Santa Claus Conspiracy

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house...

The Grassy Knoll Institute Santa Claus Conspiracy Theory has begun.

As a child, I often wondered how Santa Claus was able to tell if I was being naughty or nice, let alone millions of boys and girls.

Or how Santa had reindeer that could fly.

Or how Santa had enough time to visit every house in the world in one night.

Or how Santa fit down the chimney.

Or how Santa could fit all the toys in his one sled.

Well, the Grassy Knoll Institute finally reveals the Santa Mystery.

At the North Pole, Santa's home base and major toy manufacturing facility, are super computers with a huge database of every boy and girl in the world. His employees, also known as elves, work diligently updating their records on each child. Many phone calls to parents are necessary. Santa Claus then analyzes the data and then decides who is naughty and who is nice.

How do reindeer fly? Actually, it is not the reindeer that do the flying, but the sleigh that they pull. The sleigh is designed in such a manner that creates a wind tunnel vortex that sweeps up objects and propels them through the air. The sleighs rudders help control the direction and maneuverability and the reindeer simply guide the sleigh and keep it steady and on course.

The next problem was how does Santa have the time to visit all the boys and girls of the world all in one night? Some say the time lines of each region but there is a much simpler explanation. Santa Claus has the ability to bend time in the same manner as light bends when it comes in contact with water. When Santa begins his once a year journey on Christmas Eve, he enters the Santa space time continuum loop enabling him to virtually slow down time to a halt so an hour to him feels like a second to us. This way, he can carry out his travels and still have plenty of time.

On to the chimney, and what if some houses don't have chimneys? Santa is a contortionist. He is able to bend his body into many difficult and very limited spaces, such as a chimney. When a chimney isn't available, a crawl space or window does just fine.

The sled is only so big. So how does he fit all the toys in there? Since the North Pole is a toy manufacturing plant, they also have a very diverse distribution center. These centers are positioned all over the world and each package is bar coded and shipped to a specific warehouse. As Santa moves across the world, his employees, or elves, restock his sled as needed. That's why you see all those trucks delivering toys to the malls and stores in your area.

So there you have it. The Santa Conspiracy as told by the Grassy Knoll Institute.

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Tongue Logo Tattoo

The latest craze! Having your tongue tattooed with a corporate logo. Millions of women are flocking to tattoo parlors to have their tongues tattooed with corporate sponsors. Not surprisingly, the Grassy Knoll Institute has a commanding lead in tattoo sponsorship.

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The Mad Ice Scrapper

At dinner last night, I was reminded of an event that happened back in the 1970’s. I believe it was the winter of 1976, or maybe 1977. It was a Christmas holiday type event where each neighbor tried to outdo the next in Christmas decorations presentations. Being in the midst of the energy crisis, a time when just a few years earlier President Richard Nixon preached to all Americans to conserve oil, gas, and electricity. The Christmas light decorators had to find more energy efficient means to showcase their homes.

They came up with a very ingenious concept of brown and white paper lunch bags and nickel candles. The home owner would open each paper bag, add about an inch of sand to add weight so they would not blow away and line them starting at the street curb and then wind their way on both sides up their driveway. They would then add the nickel candles and light them. The paper bag would illuminate to a very bright decoration and the bag height would block the wind keeping the candle lit.

It would take hours to set up the bags and then every night relight or replace the candles and re-align whatever bags needed to be placed back into position.

That’s where Brad and I came in. At the height of the Christmas season, when every household was illuminated with these energy efficient decorations, we would take to the streets with our car. I was in my 1968 yellow Camaro, and we would find a street aglow with these light bags. I would then get really close to the curb and Brad would open the car door, and using the ice scrapper would mow down as many of the bags as he could.

Its hard to describe the sound the bags made when they came in contact with the ice scrapper, something like Thrack, thrack, thrack. We were laughing like idiots watching the bags almost explode as they were hit and then catch on fire immediately afterward. We would go street to street with the mad ice scrapper.

This went on for some time until we began to get chased from the neighbors who began to recognize the yellow Camaro. The mad ice scrapper retired after an all to brief reign of terror.

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I Won A Major Award

I Won A Major Award

I think its Italian, it says....Fra......Gil......E......

I thought I'd share with you one of the Christmas gifts my wife Patty bought me. Its a replica leg lamp from the classic movie, A Christmas Story. The father wins a major award and it gets delivered in a giant crate. It turns out to be the Infamous Leg lamp and he displays it prominently in the front picture window for all his neighbors to see.

I recommend watching the movie.

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Ginos Pizza - Chicago

Gino's Pizza - Chicago

While at the Chicago Halloween show, we had to have Chicago pizza. We asked many locals where the best pizza was. An almost unanimous reply was Gino’s just off Mannheim road. To the taxi.
The restaurant was packed, about 25 people waiting to be seated, which was a good sign. An empty Italian restaurant does not bode well. After about 20 minutes, we were seated and we placed our order. A large pizza was ordered with half with bacon and half with pepperoni and green peppers. My half was the bacon half.

Twenty minutes later, the pizza arrived at our table. As you can see, it looked delicious. The slices were cut all the way through, the crust was crunchy, the cheese perfect, the sauce hot and tangy, and the bacon cooked under the cheese was well cooked.

And the taste, very good. The service, very good. The cost, not bad for Chicago, 20 bucks for the pizza and two cokes. Putting it all together, the Grassy Knoll Institute awards 4 out of 5 shots and recommends Gino’s pizza for dinner.

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Beach Boys - Endless Summer 1974

Beach Boys Endless Summer album Cover

The 1960's music world was dominated by the British invasion of The Beatles and the Rolling Stones as they churned out number one hit after number one hit. But the tide slowly turned starting on the West coast and steadily spreading throughout the nation. The Beach Boys and their "Surfer Sound" gathered a following of teeny boppers not just from California, but the entire nation. In 1974, Endless Summer, a double album greatest hits on Capital records was released. It was a must have rock and roll album with almost all the best Beach Boys tunes.

The left inside jacket is a cartoonish depiction of the California beach with a row boat, life preserver, a cartoon picture of one of the band members, and the listing of the album track titles.Side One:
Surfin Safari
Surfer Girl
Catch A Wave
The Warmth Of The Sun
Surfin U.S.A.

Side Two:
Be true To Your School
Little Deuce Coupe
In My Room
Shut Down
Fun, Fun, Fun

Side Three:
I Get Around
The Girls On The Beach
Wendy
Let Him Run Wild
Don't Worry Baby

Side Four:
California Girls
Girl Don't Tell Me
Help Me Rhonda
You're So Good To Me
All Summer Long

The right side of the inside cover is a continuation of the cartoonish California beach scene with a tanned muscle bound weightlifter and a hot dog stand.

The back cover has two more cartoon pictures of the band members, a bi-plane, penguin, and a Sgt. Rock comic book plus another listing of the album tracks.

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