Showing posts with label april fools. Show all posts
Showing posts with label april fools. Show all posts

4/01/2008

Michael Jackson In Disguise


Michael Jackson Returns To The States!

Michael Jackson, self appointed legendary King Of Pop made a surprise visit to the United States today ending his self imposed exile to Hollywood and the pop music culture.

Jackson had a very public trial for child molestation several years back on which he was acquitted but did admit to "Sleeping" with several of his young sleep over friends. After the trial, he left the states to regather his thoughts and avoid the tabloid spotlight.

We hardly recognized you through all the makeup.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Lost Update - Damn Dirty Ape


Lost Update Season IV 03/27/2008

There has been a lot of speculation about the “Foot” seen on the Lost island. The foot was shown only once and only for a precious few seconds. The Grassy Knoll Institute has been asked to explain the foot and what we believe it’s significance is to the Lost series. Our simple short answer is… Everything.

The photo above is of the famous Lost Foot. Take a good look at it. Not just the base featuring the four toed foot wearing a sandal, but the entire statue. Notice that it is broken and only partially intact. (This is important) One wonders what the entire statue looked like before it crumbled. What was attached to the foot? What was surrounding the statue? Perhaps the next photo below will shed some light on what the foot represents.


For those of you who do not recognize the photo, it is from the final scene of the classic 1968 movie, Planet Of The Apes.
(Dramatic Pause!)

Yes folks, the foot is none other than that of the "Lawgiver," the Christ figure of Ape World in the movie. Notice that the foot is broken and the pedestal is crumbled. Now notice the broken Statue Of Liberty. Both the Lawgiver and Statue Of Liberty are cultural icons, easily recognizable, and placed in prominent places.

Still not convinced?! Need more proof? No problem. Take a look at the picture below of the Lawgiver, an actual prop used on the set of Planet Of The Apes. Notice the Lawgiver has four toes and wearing sandals just like the foot on Lost. Both the foot and Lawgiver are the same color and texture.

There's still more! I told you this was a special Lost Update.

The screenplay of Planet Of The Apes was written by none other than Sci-Fi guru Rod Serling, the creator of the Twilight Zone, (A Sci-Fi supernatural television show from the 1960's depicting ordinary people thrust into bizarre and unexplainable situations with plenty of twists of fates and moral consequences.)


From reading the Grassy Knoll Institute Lost Updates, we all know that the program is similar to the old sci-fi series Twilight Zone and that the characters are from Twilight Zone episodes. This link will act as a refresher course to the TZ links. Lost In The Twilight Zone

Lets delve a little deeper into the Planet of The Apes and Lost to compare the story outlines of each.

On Lost, we all know the story begins with a plane crash. Same as with Planet Of The Apes. The spaceship crashed in the water and Taylor and the rest of the survivors swam to shore.

On Lost, they crashed on a strange mysterious island and we were immediately introduced to an invisible monster and miraculous healing properties. Planet Of The Apes also crashed on a strange mysterious planet and introduced the audience to talking apes who were the dominant species on this distant planet.

We learn on Lost that time is somehow distorted and perhaps is taking place in the past or the future. On Planet of The Apes, we learn that 2500 years have passed for the marooned astronauts.

Ben and the others village on Lost are the counterparts to the apes and Ape City on Planet Of The Apes.

The final scene has not yet been aired for Lost, (We have two more years for that) but by looking at Planet of The Apes, we can hazard a guess.

The ending of Planet of the Apes showed Taylor riding off with Nova, the female human mate he had chosen along the shoreline to find his destiny. He is warned by Dr. Zaius, the leader of Ape City, that he wouldn't like what he finds ahead. (Ben also warned the castaways that leaving is bad)

A few minutes more of following the shoreline and Taylor comes to the shocking realization that he is not on a distant planet, but at home, planet Earth, and that the world has destroyed itself and now apes rule in their place.

An old broken and half buried Statue Of Liberty drives home that realization as Taylor cries on the shore, "You finally did it, Damn you all to hell!"

There you go Lost fans. The meaning of the Foot.

Until next week, GET LOST!


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL



Burger Chef Is Still In Business


The Burger Chef fast food hamburger chain, defunct since the mid 1980's is making a come back.

Hardee's corporation, owner of the Burger Chef brand name relinguished the rights of the name in late 2006. When Hardee's bought all the Burger chef's, they immediately began converting them all to Hardee's fast food restaurants until no more burger Chef's were in business.

In January an entrepreneur constructed a replica of the Burger Chef restaurant and began serving the standard fare that was originally on the menu in the 1970's.

To kick off the grand opening, Burger Chef was offering the Super chef, which according to the Guinness book or world records, is the largest cheeseburger ever made.

Even more incredulous, Burger Chef has also rolled back prices to mid 1970's making this cheeseburger costing only 99 cents.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/31/2008

Colonel Sanders Alive And Well


This just in!

Colonel Sanders, Kentucky Fried Chicken founder and icon of the fast food restaurant, dead for over 20 years, was photographed today shaking George Clooney's hand during a red carpet Hollywood event.

Apparently Sanders faked his death and has been living large in the great state of Montana with Jim Morrison, Elvis, and D.B. Cooper.

Rumor was that Elvis paid a kings ransom to fake Sanders death because he couldn't live without the secret recipe fried chicken dinners.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL


Putting On My Jester Hat

Tomorrow is April 1st. And that means it's also April Fools Day which just happens to be the Grassy Knoll Institutes "Feast Day!" It is the one day out of the year that we get serious with current events and news stories.

I have already pulled out my Jester hat, (My wife Patty says its the same hat I wear every day) (I think in a way she is calling me a fool) and I am ready to deliver the news as only the Curator can. Some of you have made the news. Some I have had mercy on. And some I tread ever so lightly with.

Either way, the updates begin at midnight EST, and will continue until midnight tomorrow. (Thats 24 hours for those keeping score at home)

It is in your best interest to click here:

April Fools Day Archives to keep abreast of all the breaking news as this site will be updating at least once an hour beginning at 8am (I need some sleep people, I am not an animal, I am a human being) with at least 20 updates. Twenty one if you are in Vegas.

And remember, I am only the Curator. If you have a complaint, please email the (Lead Scientist) and let him have it with both barrels.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

4/01/2006

Lost Update - In A Godda-Da-Vida


Season II
Lost Update 04/01/2006
In-a-gadda-da-vida, honey,
Don't you know that I love you?
In-a-gadda-da-vida, baby,
Don't you know that Ill always be true?
Oh, wont you come with me
And take my hand?
Oh, wont you come with me
And walk this land?
Please take my hand!


What would have happened if Jack decided to wait one more day and not board the Oceanic flight back to the states? As well the other passengers. If you are interested, here is what happened in the alternate reality.

Tonight’s episode opens with a flashback of Jack sleeping in his hotel room the night before he boarded the fateful flight on Oceanic. The sun is peaking in through the closed blinds and Jack rustles in his sleep and slowly awakens.

Jack hears the shower running and fumbles to slowly get out of bed in the dimly lit room. He makes his way to the bathroom scratching his behind displaying a smirk on his face as if he just remembered something amazing from the night before.

When Jack reaches the shower curtain, he pauses as if contemplating his next move. In a heartbeat, the curtain is pulled open to show a very wet Ana Lucia rinsing herself off. Ana sexily whispers "Good Morning Doctor," and smiles seductively at him.

As Jack steps into the shower, another pair of hands comes into the scene. The camera pans back a little and reveals Libby behind Ana soaping her back. Jack and Ana embrace and kiss and repeat the same sequence with Libby. Ana and Libby then embrace and kiss. All three stop to laugh...

After the shower, the three are dressing and the conversation turns to their flight that day. Jack is ready to get his father back to the states but Ana suggests they all stay for just another day until she and Libby get their affairs in order as well.

Reluctantly, Jack agrees and he walks to the phone and orders room service breakfast. Jack states that he will not be checking out today after all and orders three continental breakfasts.

The rest of the casts, survivors, are having similar occurrences. Hurley misses the plane just arriving minutes after the plane rolls out to the tarmac.

Locke through his pleading convinces the walk about tours agent that he is capable to join the group and boards the bus instead of the plane.

Claire at the last moment decides that she wants to keep her baby and drops her ticket into the trash receptacle and turns and walks away. She bumps into Charlie, who almost knocks her down and they strike up a conversation. Charlie loses track of time and misses his flight but decides to take Claire up on her offer for dinner.

Sayid gets detained by security and is held until after the plane takes off.

Sun musters up enough nerve to run from Jin, and walks out of the terminal and meets her friends. Jin sees this and starts after her. Both never get on the plane.

Shannon and Boone arrive at the airport but so does her former boyfriend. Boone and him struggle and security is called to subdue both of them. Boone and the boyfriend are taken into custody and Shannon follows behind crying. Both miss the plane.

Michael and Walt are not getting along to well as Walt is having a hard time adjusting to Michael being his father. Michael decides to postpone his trip back to the states and stay in a familiar environment with Walt to get him more accustomed to his new life.

Kate attempts an escape before boarding the plane with the excuse of needing to use the restroom. The police agent foils her plan catching her as she attempts to escape from the window. This escape attempt was just enough time for them to miss the plane. Kate gets another chance for the next flight isn't until the next day.

Sawyer’s money scam goes terribly awry and he gets caught in a gun battle getting shot in the shoulder. He survives but misses the plane.

Everyone else has the same type of experience and as the episode comes to a close, the Hotel sign where Jack, Ana, and Libby were staying shows the Dharma Hotel and Casino resort...

End of show...
It never happened.
The Booby Ewing syndrome...


LURKING, STILL LOST ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/31/2005

Modblog Princess Pooram


Modblog Princess Pooarm
This just in. The Grassy Knoll Institute just developed this rare exclusive photo of Princess Pooarm riding her bicycle in the UK. She just got new glasses.




LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Crystal Pegasus Spreads Wings

Crystal Pegasus
Crystal Pegasus Spreads Her Wings This just in.....Crystal Pegasus Modblog admin, after hearing the MSN- Modblog merger news, dons her fairy costume in hopes of becoming the MSN butterfly mascot.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Originaisml And Elisla All Dressed Up

Originalism And Elisla Modblog
Graphic Photo The Grassy Knoll Institute cannot confirm or deny the following photo as being the notorious Originalism and Elisla dressed to the nines ready for a night out on the town. You be the judge.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Deep Blue Dives

Deep Blue Muff Diving
Deep Blue has brilliant artwork on her blog. Her photos are awe inspiring. Her wit dry and pointed. Just the way I like it. And sometimes she goes over the deep end, (Just ask her about her recent bus trip) or when she paints her entire body blue to make a statement.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Real Reason Modblog Is Offline

Real Reason Modblog Service Is Offline So Often
Just as the Grassy Knoll Institute suspected, Modblog's downtime woes can be easily rectified. Apparetly the extension cord leading from Gormans house connecting Modblog to the Internet kept coming unplugged. Several feet of duct tape and a deskmod upgrade and all is well again in modblog land.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL